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Shadows must and will obey
my thoughts to sink and prayers stray,
for soon they’ll stay.
They rest upon my heavy head
they lie with me upon my bed,
for soul’s decay.
Shadows must and will confuse
this love i know i’ll never loose,
and never say,
that all is bright behind these eyes
that mind is free and all these lies
are far away.
Confuse and use they must, they must
through power, greed, and lies and lust
until i’m lost.
Before they go and try their best
i’m gonna steal a little rest
from love’s old nest.
They’ll come again, this much i know,
so i put on a great big show
that I have learned long time ago.
But now my soul, she has her voice
and given any other choice
i trust the one
that shows rejoice.
She speaks and shadows dissapear
she shows the way which comes so clear.
I know the voice i hold so dear
it speaks of love, the moment  “now”
it whispers to me when and how
i can be free, and to allow
my spirit to retain the vow
it took before this life’s refinement
that some life I’ll reach enlightement
be out of body’s false confinement
And into Tao.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2017
alt. title: when thought turned itself into laziness / "thinking": intellectual-dishonesty.

the parameters of objectionable reflection,
once conjured by thought -
and cemented into objects rather than
turns of conversation (subject) -
  can hardly be put back into
the "pandora's box" of nothing / vacuum;
of all the faculties -
thought being the supposedly most
"lazy", has this ever-present feel about it:
ever-persistent -
   almost reaching toward a godly status -
omni- temporum, tempus, aevum...
no cry of hope for an constricted space
that infinitely exploded to reveal
  the god and the throne of thrones that's
a toilet...
          most men make thought the pursuit
of idleness... or the last refrain of
old, bearded men...
            thought is minded as a laziness -
a typo of some form of madness...
    so much "apparent" escapism into thinking:
and yet: so little thinking is apparent...
thought: the gem in a crown -
yet so much of it is squandered -
  so much of it remains a beacon for
"dialectics" - when in fact it attracts bothersome
flies, or a body riddle with heat: mosquitos...            
why is there this dichotomy of
what thinking can, and ought to be:
   akin to having a body that can walk through
walls, and relieve the world of
any interaction, bypassing it on a pair of
socks without shoes to aid the loss of
footsteps in echo...
how can one aim of thought remain intact
in systems, the sort of grid of red amber green
in the argumentative sphere?
            the winding word, and then
the great fire of edinbrugh of 1824, that probably
gave birth to *new town
: as the grid work
for new york...
      but for those who do not take
thinking serious, that it might become an
"occupation" with the genesis the greeks -
       is it lazy to think?
               it's lazy to think when there's no
point in thinking about what ought to come
by intuition alone...
          but when intuition stages a rebellious
invitation of theological argumentation -
for no apparent, or therefore clear reason to base
argument without any other investigation
as the "investigation" of mere thought?
                 well... so much easier to think
of a thinker as the epitome of the docile zoo
specimen akin to a chimp...
                          if only people managed
to pull-down the niqab-of-television, and employ
a few people to live among the zoological specimen...
i'd like that...
      what are psychologists hiding?
proto-******?
        or simply a permanent
                      investigation of the death-penalty
bound to a zoological enclosure of humans
alongside this constant fudge-dimension
  of time...
     i can hardly appreciate the enlightement
before i'm thrown back into either
the caves or the jungle...
            first you're told to think,
then you're told to not think...
         i can't understand this feminine
dynamism with regards to thinking -
  it's either considered the supreme
achievement... or the ultimate white-flag
moment of enterprise:
    repeat that cartesian phrase for me, dear, please?
cogito ergo inertia:
i think therefore i'm "lazy"...
                        what a beautiful conclusion
to the history of cartesian thinking...
   with that sentence? it's dead:
not even heidegger with his dasein can save
thought from "modern" man,
who simply concluded (as above) -
                            cogito ergo inertia.
The flakes rested a moment on my head before finishing the race. I was engendering spirits visible of grace. Into the night fog I was walking like an enchanted! When I kneeled to tie my leather boots, I was paying respect to the emerald universe above. Tonight I think about you again.
Love-drunk, teeter and totter, hobble and wabble
because my spirit remembers our resonance
Tonight we are far from each other
Tonight I'm hungry (of you), darling
My irrepressible love volleying bombardments
only by the knowledge of your lips could it be solaced
Yellow dry reeds puzzle me greatly. Walking under the cloak of humanism. A penetrating enlightement. My scarf's blowing, and I barely feel my face. O my muse, blues possessed me tonight. I will cry from missing you.

My hands smell like a lemon
The air is dulce and tastes like predestination
A partying rebel, parleying devil, but part-time constable
A layman evangel, silent gospel, and full time antechapel
Self-tailored, not mass-produced
A mirage of myself burns in the fog, and I disappear into the eternal forest
Therein I pray, play, and praise like a child
and my quilted words fly away like riptides
and only the residue of magnificence stays on my lips,
the fragrance of moonlight

My heroine, my dear adventress
Take a good rest. Adios.
Dedicated to my girlfriend Jueun Suh.

— The End —