Morning light kisses with melancholy,
while rain is drizzling behind my window.

My consciousness speaks with agony again,
while my existence is unclear.

Reading into past, not knowing my future.
My dreams were clouds in my coffee.
                
Silence echoes, foreshadowing the end.
it follows my path of self destruction.
               (em pleh)
Closed behind these walls, with thick layers of fear,
screaming feelings what nobody understand.
                                          (evil ot)
Obscure mind planting seeds of the nightmare,
growing roots that suffocate my ambition.

I broke into the pieces, sharp enough for self harm,
listening Moonlight Sonata with few drops of the blood.
               ( em dnatsrednu)
Constructing my deraptured mind, reversing my life,
Feeling lost but I am still standing here.

I got few pills to help me see why I am fading.
Carrying sunset on my chest, I am alone.
                                ( evil ot drah si ti)
White noise reconstruct voices in my head,
sinking into dream, leaving my body to rest.

Many mornings passes from that day, they forget,
cries and whispers ends under remains of the lost life.

I've never had the urge to fit in.

I also don't care much for trying to stand out. Mainly because i've never had to try, it just happens.

I know that people go through life trying to figure our where they belong. But that's never been a worry of mine. I've always known that I will never fit in.

Some might say its like being a black sheep. But it's not.
At least if you're a black sheep, you're still a sheep.

Its more like being a zebra in a world of giraffes.
I'd have to be an idiot to think one day my stripes would turn into spots.

It's not so bad.
Being different.

The hard part is having to explain the difference.

The worst part is explaining and explaining and still being misunderstood.

**** fitting in.
I want to be understood.

People are like puzzle pieces.
They go through life, trying to find the right connection.
And they need that!
They really need that.

 If you can't find the right pieces, then you can't see the big picture.
And if theres no big picture, then how could you really be living?

I don't fit in that puzzle.
Although I'd still like to see how it turns out one day.

I'm more like a checker piece.

Checker pieces don't connect.
They don't make a pretty picture.

I was born deep in thought.
I was born to make moves.

I don't get to fit in and make sense of my life.

My life is a big game
And I spend it wondering why God keeps playing me.

I know I dont fit in.
You know i dont fit in.

But do you understand that I dont fit in?

Life is a big, beautiful piece of art.
So how is it that
I keep spending time drawing you a picture

People try romanticizing outcasts and loners
But what is romance without love?
How could you love me without knowing me?

Do you understand?

You dont have to take a walk in my shoes.
Just understand that you're wearing flip flops while i'm wearing boots.
A walk on the beach will never be the same for us
Im sinking trying to keep up

I don't want to be anyone else but me
Because I know grass isnt greener on the other side.
But I do understand that there is an other side.
Do you?

Or do I need to explain?
Why is it always me who has to explain?

Explain

Explain

Explanation

I don't owe any explanations.

But still, I constantly find myself writing my own instruction manuals for people who skip the directions.

It's as frustrating as trying to teach your grandmother how to use a smart phone.
I love talking to you
But I can't keep showing you how to answer the phone

I'd say we have a bad connection but we hear each other perfectly.
You're just not listening.

I thought we were both speaking English but maybe I'm speaking with some kind of heavy accent
Stop asking me to speak slower.
I don't ask you to listen faster.

Do you understand yet?

You know im an outsider
Im not even asking you to come outside-
Just open up the curtains and take a good look at my reality

You still keep looking in a mirror and mistaking it for the window,
Im asking you to see more than my reflection.

Mirrors are tricky.
They make things a little backwards
 
?dnatsrednu uoy oD
?dnatsrednu uoy oD