There isn’t a Mountain to High

Written for two hurting grand parents who lost thier ninteen year old grand
son when he lay down in front of a on comming passenger train.

Dear ones He who walked the Delarosa knows your pain His mind catches the smallest sound of
Suffering and that of the highest roar cascading down as burning lava through each membrane that
You possess when your last ounce of strength has been consumed though he staggered through the
Crowds in Jerusalem bearing the marks of the condemned we know He was the fairest lamb slain
Tophet remains the dark black **** that it left in the earth where the Canaanites sacrificed children unto
The god Moloch by fire they practiced their deranged acts took that which was most precious to God
And man and forever dishonored the sacred trust we have to those most precious gifts it speaks to the
Gross conflict that reigns between good and evil the great brooding of God enters scenes and acts such
As these all of His creative goodness maligned by troubling dark currents that rage in fevered minds
All right thinking has suffered its greatest break down the minions of darkness parade as light the
Mind has no reference point to what is truth or lies in this chaotic bewildered state actions arise and
Occur that form the greatest test for comprehension and ultimately any idea of acceptance can there
Be any deeper depth of morbid disillusionment you enter a place where reality has been suspended
And you must try to function bring resolve to the unquestionable that is where you walk into his arms
The greatest peace and love holds you your spinning mind is calmed the inward turmoil faceless
Nameless is rendered harmless because it has met a greater force it will and can only yield to his
Command let go of your grip this little one is my child you have no authority or say here your work
Has been most horrid typical of your brand of being a tyrant now your power is bridled love takes even
The power of deaths sting no matter the tragic events I’ am peace I have no equal the oppression you
Have weaved is torn asunder I crossed over from eternity to this place in time by rights I alone hold
I give freedom my spirit swirls with awesome glory carrying the wounded to heights and vistas that in
Those distilling awesome light brings a knowing show a peaceful reality even in this difficulty it will
By transcending power allow acceptance without understanding because truth and love are stronger
And they encompass and hold earthy bonds in the sweetest tranquil division the same measure that
Causes the glories of a sunset when the light reflects on the bottom of the cloud and then refracts so it
Is so I ‘am covered in a cloud of glory though darkness pervades lives and tries to prey on them this is
Not possible all that beholds me are engulfed in beauty and settings that out shine the dangerous and
Painful plains of this world and the truth ever is stated that darkness will be turned into light.

I saw a pillar of fire and I saw a cloud an Israelite marching to promised ground
And this fire in the night blazed a trail all the way to Jerusalem
a light in the dark consuming and drawing all of our attention as the savior entered in
but he wasn't savior then he was just the Jesus man
height of his fame
top of his game
crowds know his name
and "hosanna" they proclaim
nation wide status and popularity
but all I can offer is palm branches at his feet so his ride doesn't get *****

I saw a pillar of fire and I saw a cloud an Israelite confused in the desert walking around
and this cloud by day darkened my path with its shade and I followed it down to via DelaRosa the painful way where the Savior carried my cross to Golgotha to take away my sins
but he wasn't savior then he was still just the Jesus man
height of his fame
scorned and betrayed
by the ones he came to save
even God looked away
but the ones who really loved Him had tears in his eyes while everyone else shouted crucify

And I am in both crowds
so how did I get from point A to point B somehow I find myself in between these two roads marked with glory and shame

I am the disciple saying Jesus you don't really have to die
Filling up dry cupped hands looking for the relief of rain. Refreshing words to a parched soul but it is the temptation to get drunk off of sweet nothings
It is the tension between suffering and superiority
He cried
My flesh writhes with greed longing for the captives to build a kingdom based on the pleasure of praise
But I didn't come for me I came to set people free, give my daddy back the keys m, grabbing children off their knees, letting authority be restored, relationship born, and heaven an open door
Will I be led by love or emotion?

Do I really have to go through with this or not? Haven't I already given up enough?
Gethsemane and the overwhelming grief
Meanwhile I am Judas saying "this isn't what I thought it would be"
What happened to the man we called revolutionary?
So you can fill up my hands with those sweet nothings
and I will drink deep of the bitter heavy and cheap silver you placed there

I am Peter ready to defend but also to flee because I am too ashamed to be seen with this politically defined criminal even though he washed my bare feet
so when you asked I will deny I will deny I will deny
because I favor what people think of me rather than giving away everything

And the people change their mind simply because the position of magician on the payroll was denied Their wish list weren't getting checked off they were getting left behind
And all three are a lot like me
and once again I find myself in between these two roads marked with glory and shame
fame and mock
victory and flogging  
it's in Ascension full of dissension as I wait for someone else's reign
I was in both crowds
I was the worshiper and the condemnor the admirer and the accuser
And I Wrestle and I wrestle with the gravestones in me until I am sick
And Jesus Christ I know you wrestled too
So My God my god what did you choose
with the pushing and pulling of rising choice tension
I now stand in the crowd that cries out for resurrection