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Yancey Jan 2019
This rock a hard place and me

crazy it just hits you.

Your heart’s beating so  fast

Trying, taking it slow

getting up still dizzy

wobbly like a top on its last few spins.

Is it me or everything around

Falling to the ground

I’m stationary but vertigo

Free falling over almost dead.

Freaking out let me go.

Enclosed losing my grip

It won’t let go.

You’re closing in

trying to talk to me

I hear nothing.

You cry out of frustration.

I’m sitting here *******

Every emotion at once.

I can’t control what I do.

It’s blacking out without the black.

Sleepwalking

more like a puppeteer

These strings my fuses I explode

Appreciate the help.

Stop it.

Makes it worse.

I don’t want to hurt you I don’t know how to stop it.

screaming.

going bonkers.

Three sheets to the wind.

My knots are tight.

**** that ship.

I got no patience.

Let somebody else wait.

No drugs, no legs,

come hell or high water

I’m dipping, tripping,

Lt danning rolling the **** out.

You don’t have to be close.

I’m heading to Walmart

I pull in and pull out

no kids no need for plan b.

I bust right there

making a scene in front of the crowd.

Sorry folks…

Will Power has left the building….

*******

That ***** never went in.

amber alert!

Just lost another piece of myself and your data.

I know right.?!

Balling my eyes out.

At the buzzer

but the wrong end of the court.

I wish I could pinpoint when it started but I can’t.

I don’t know how or when

What it felt like.

A doctor?….

How?

Somebody to talk to…

How am i supposed to

when its locking the doors on my ten speed before i can get out.

It makes no sense

Should I get drunk today

Some brain decorating

Get pilled out

so only truth is heard

When there's no doctor around

I doubt that’ll work.

Watching from the inside.

Squinting from a cell behind my eyes.

Controls me.

I have a few good days here and there

most of the time it’s ruining me.

Their thinking I’m nuts

He don’t know what the **** he’s doing

Ive been good at everything I’ve ever done

Every job promoted

I push myself so hard.

I can’t do anything

shaking

Frustrated

Seems like I’m taking it out on you but I’m not.

I’m harder on myself than anybody could ever be.

To the point I’m **** near crying

Sitting at work with a gun in my mouth.

Trying.

I can’t even do that though.

I’m a slave to my anxiety

no longer have the courage to ask why

ywsm
Anxiety

— The End —