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a m a n d a Dec 2019
hey.
listen.

i'm just a grunt
a cog in the machine
trying to get the same sized piece
of the american d r e a m
that you have.

but you don't see.
the absolute crack in the structure
of reality between
our generations,
and so you think it is e a z y
that we are lazy.

i almost laugh when i see you
scan the exact same insurance card from
20 years ago
you silly, silly babies.

you want to talk health insurance?
i am 39.
i was born in 1980, and at this very moment,
off the top of my head,
i can recall
having at the very least 9
different health insurance
providers since
i was 22 years old.

back then, i made $9/hour
and that was acceptable for the
state of my experience and education.
but much has changed in 17 years.
now, i make $16.50/hour and that,
my friends,
is not a decent salary
for a 39 year old that
is supposed to magically be saving for
a retirement that is getting less and less likely
by the day, because those
crazy things you old coots had
called "pensions" are a no-go in this climate...
while i am over here struggling with shelter,
food, clothing, healthcare, and education.

you have homes and cars
and dishwashers and pools
and vacations and
private schools and plenty of groceries
you don't think twice about going out
giving gifts
buying yourself treats, things
that are unnecessary
some of us only live in the world
of the necessary
and we have
d e b t.
live not even one paycheck
to the next.
there is no luxury
one moment from an emergency
with little comfort
and little hope

because of the things
you voted for. for the people you voted in the office.
the ideas you allowed to brew.
the envy and the greed.
and oh the righteousness.
the hypocrisy is just dynomite.
you done ****** up.
the planet, education, healthcare,
childcare, banks, greed, Wall Street, and corruption.
even for those of us who are
white and privileged and educated
there is no way out of the cycle
so imagine what you have done
to all the brown and black people.
the disabled. the veterans. the homeless. the sick.
the elderly. children. it's a ******* shitshow.

man after man after man after man and
war after war after war after war
and dollar after dollar after dollar after dollar

currently healthcare premiums alone
are 21% of my income after taxes
not including copays, deductibles,
coinsurance, medications, and things they
simply will not cover.

I went to school for 7 years,
have a master's degree, and
currently make $7.50 more/hour
than I did when I was 22 years old
(17 years ago)
with no experience whatsoever
and a bachelor's degree.

now i have a master's degree
over a decade of expertise and experience
and student loans that have gone from $80,000 to $120,000
and for that i get $7.50 more/hour
for a job
not in my field.
that doesn't even give you insurance for 3
months during which time
you just quite literally hope
no one calls an ambulance on you cuz
there is no way you are going bankrupt
for passing out from anxiety
over the state of your life, and besides, if you get sick
you are not allowed one iota of personal time
for the first 90 days

i will not even embarrass you
with the hilarious  student loan repayment options.
we won't even add the proposed $1800 payment to the
monthly analysis just to be jokesters.

rent is 25%
(for a ******, ugly, place)
not including heat
water, electric, internet,
cell phone


gas alone is 9%
i haven't even mentioned
food, car payments, and car insurance

can you see where the desperation might creep in?
you didn't go to college, or if you did,
tuition was truly affordable
on an average person's salary.
you expect things to be easy because they were easy
for you even though you think
it was hard.
it was not hard.
children and adults fully
financially stable on one average person's income?!
"middle class" is a joke.
it is not what it once was.
and to me, now
it seems quite
an impossible dream.
getting one job and keeping it practically
your entire life?!
stop it, my side hurts!
a bonus?!
please!
a union?!
comprehensive healthcare for your entire family
with no deductible and little to no copays?
girl, you sure is funny.
an affordable home?
****,
we haven't even talked about
credit card debt!
outrageous taxes, tolls,
and fees.
for-profit prisons
and for-profit healthcare.
why what a wonderful idea,
surely will do the most good
for the most people.
3 billionaires
own more wealth
than the entire bottom half of americans.
read that again, please.

your tactics have brought us corporate greed, corruption,
a failed war on drugs, a failure to teach equality
and comprehensive *** education in schools
untold wars, mutilation, torture, and death
the suppression of women.

my life is the proof of your oppression
and the heart of your discontent
but you could never live it and survive
you delicate little flowers
  the system is ******
and the very foundation is crumbling
As of December 1, which is the 335th day of the year, there have been 385 mass shootings in the U.S., according to data from the nonprofit Gun Violence Archive (GVA), which tracks every mass shooting in the country. Twenty-nine of those shootings were mass murders.

your thought are gong backward
and it is painfully obvious to
the rest of us
that you are simply]
of no use to us,
the people looking
toward a better future.

you did not prepare us for
the world of your making
you prepared us for your world
and that is why there is a disconnect.

but ok, b o o m e r





ok, boomer
whatever you say
Katie Doodle Jun 2010
When a woman is *****
She hides from the cynical eyes.
I went to work
Made idle chitchat
Wrote copays.
Most women avoid ***
And cringe at the thought of *******.
I take part in *** compulsively
Crave male attention
I'm engaged nearly every night.
Some go to meetings
To share their struggles.
I don't want to hear your problems
Do not wish to share my own
I offer no support nor input.
**** victims are fragile
They break fairly easily.
I do not break
Nor do I crack
I just am.
I do not fit the description
Of victim nor survivor.
I question myself daily
Was it ****
Or an overreaction?
Most women cry
They seek comfort
They long for understanding
And justice.
I do not.
Am I a victim too?
A survivor?
Neurotic?
Anyone?
Copyright 2010  Katie Doodle - All Rights Reserved
Stephen S Mar 2018
It was another sunny morning and I was in bed all alone,
My lower back would barely move and pain surged through my bones.
I stared beyond the window to the gorgeous day outside,
And from my bedroom prison I just cried and cried and cried.

I would give most anything to be the one I was before,
This disease has taken all my body had from me and more.
Now a constant stream of scripts and multicolored pills,
And each day in the mailbox, a brand new load of bills.

Doctors, nurses, hospitals and my insurance corporation,
They do their best to bleed me dry in my recurring desperation.
Surcharges, fees and copays, it's always much the same.
I grow so tired and weary of this wretched little game.

Now I'm faced with selling most of the meager things I own,
Just so that the debt collectors stop blowing up my phone.
I try to put a brave face on and smile for the world,
But just a bit below the skin I'm coming so unfurled.

I didn't decide to be this way, I can't help that I am sick,
But sometimes this society can lay the guilt on thick.
Don't judge what you don't understand, it's not a wise position.
I bet you'd feel differently if we shared the same condition.

Sometimes I really have no clue what I'm supposed to do,
but I have folks that love me and are trying to pull me through.
They're always there to make me smile and lend a helping I hand,
I want to make it up to them but I'm not sure that I can.

I wish I'd never heard the name of this horrible disease,
I wish there was some change in which I'd finally be set free.
Though I'm not at all too thrilled to face the fresh pain of tonight,
I want to make it clear to you: I'm not giving up this fight.

— The End —