Help me understand what I mean to you...
Help me clarify that I am something, cause im tired too..
Tired of the games and blues, filled with exhaustion from my heart buying in to your lies soo much its costin me,happiness...
I wanna know for sure!'show me an exact image! of reason, why be with him, if I known you longer than you been breathin?
All this teasin is misleading, do you want me? tell me! dont leave me hangin..
Im madden and sadden by the though he has your lips, what happens to me  if it last long, and  I just come around like a bad caugh.
I've lost...
What we had is old news, but i guess time shared holds no meaning in helping you choose.
Don't come to me if your confused, i refuse to help you and your trouble, for now on do you...
Cause i been doin me, never had a problem I couldn't solved em easily with alil alcohol and **** cause you cared less about me and more about him..
I was a friend the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be, one you'll probably will not miss.
Or even noticed, if I disappeared, Im just a ghost, a shadowed memory,  still wanna be wanted but its hopeless...truly hopeless, why I wrote this? It won't change a **** thing about her, why Am  I still hopin? Why I care? Why I dare to even mention your name know you wont come to my aid, your never there...
Always with another or him, not knowing who you want, i was wish i was in your option, I can do much more, but never gained a chance to prove, and you wonder why I feel summertime  blues....
Im the best, One you'll never loose..
Ima alot of things but theres a side I never get to show, a side you will love, but you always say no, not givin me a chance as if I was bronze not worth your Gold,
but listen baby im silver, way out there but a good catch, ima outfielder,
something you can be near uhh never shed a tear soo why you always out me?
Always doubt me, never wanna like me, knowing im the right piece,
always misplace me baby, i can clean up mess like a wipee, 
whipe your tears on my white T,
i wanna be your  lycan whose fightin for what he likes see? but I feel there's no time for me...so again  why am I writing????
I am just helpless, a romantic put on the shelf like an old novel,
these say stomach the pain, but I put these dead butterflies in a bottle...
alone in my household, holding close what I call ghost hopes...Dead long ago, now it just cold like the snow, could build a snow man, But I just say no,
Why bother like Stone Sour...it will never happen, I blacken with thoughts, cryin in shower.
Stressin myself because my heart feels like its in a cyclical orbit,
of doubt and hopes, a limbo that continues to lower my esteem
and stings with pain like hornets..

BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14
(might add and edit later depending if i doesnt flow the way i want or needs more insight to get across what im feeling)


comment what you think!!!!!

Where was you when I fell , how cliche of a statement to tell,
no! Where was you ? Not here aparently,
seems like yesturday, another cliche,
**** it! I can rhyme all day.
I just need to know whats the point of money?
I GET IT, I loose it, i spend it , I abuse it.
I dont want it but I need it, Is money air?
Cos I dont wanna breathe Im stressed from the atmosphere making  me share.
I rather be ghost watch time fly by , maybe write a book to tell about my times travel,
about love from afar, how its pure but scared,
Have it published  then be awarded rubish, cos there no success or achievement when you see the half cup cruisin the highway and you decide to *** in it.  
LIFE How its concieved , how I precieve it ? IS newspaper Id keep under table to stop wobbling.
Am I rude, yeah, and unconventional so?
Im used to the self sabotage and abuse as a noose to climb up different challenges just to call a truce.



By EMMANUEL jv Hernandez
Aka Linguist musician

its hard to feel your hands, cause i feel the claws you hide ;
like lips with a serpents tongue i taste every lie you hide inside.
you want to be cuff but im already feeling tied,
and im already missing outside cause im locked up by your ways.
knowing that i love you only make my reflection feel betrayed.
every hour you speaking feels like the end of days
cause you filling me up with crack truth its an addictions in your eyes,
you see far to out, you make me wanna scream and shout,
how the **** im supposed to trust when you have commited crimes of the heart.
made many stop, had other lose their tempo,
you claiming that you love,  im thinking your mentle,
and I have no doubt that you even realize, that real lies create real ties  with fake tears, and loud cries, no wonder why im damaged and i cant find a way out.
im stuck in your ***** maze,
you keep luring me in,
i feel like such a fool, I keep caving in.
your thighs are too strong for my arms to pull away, instead the pull closer, but rough and enraged.
You don't know how much you poison lips are such an addiction.
Every kiss is a cut on the wrist, with a tungue that licks each incision.
Every night is just a shadowy vision.
Bites and holds, kissing every curve while i hold your body in submission.  
gripping and thrusting to a point of panting.
pining you down while your legs lock around my waist, we fall together on the bed landing,
mending our spirits even if we far apart, the laws of attractions meets the laws of hearts,
no matter which loves and which hates,
one and both cant escape the need for each other,
differences are just bi polar similarities,
but in the end of the night..
both will want to be pleased.

-deep thought
9-12-14

they come to haunt me and taunt me
making me resent things feeling empty
putting thoughts in mind , so sorry!
i design this rhyme to pass time,
Every time i break down,
i feel no chime, quiet like a mime,
losing whats truelly mine, is my mind, that i can not find,
i feel this pain inside i feel derange and i sometimes, engage  
with what in front of me, this saten, is haten, of me cakin,
holdin the Jesus piece,no time wastin, just waitin for my time,
to exceed the needs of success, im patiently pacin,and pacin
yet racin, im late yet early to punch in, im not goin down without a fight with who who ever is lurkin,
am im certain the curtain is clossin ,
im keep spittin and writting my words fighting even if its hopeless, that i will change
and it will get alil bit better,
with alil bit chedder,
ohh this, this otis, gottsa gottsa to be open, and im open, but the world is sooo close, an closen ,and cold and im doing what i been told, years and years im gettin old, i wanna be immortal, enter a portal , everybody knows
times goes off course soo, i stay i on lane, doin my thang , flippin paper empty the pain with a  pens by the stains.
do you know what its like to be a mystery everybody wanna solve ya, but you wanna a revolva to be history, misery loves company, and im comfort by the honesty, of an oddity, that i wanna be,
and i wanna get even, with a these heathens breathin, forever steamin my self esteem is  depleatin , replenish me please jesus!
i need this , vent, **** everybody who i met, did me wrong the first sec, i regret ,and resent and spent times on something true useless, like the rest...of my heart, torn apart grown to beat and spark, but not ****** in the light so i love to dwellin the dark!!!

Gave you nothing less than perfection,
i received neglection
no affection ,just thoughts and depression my lesson learned by the taunting aggression,
my obsession is caressin my helpless quessin,
pressin  my deepest thoughts, tryin to harbor my lost,
tryin to hold my cost, a price of heart is stolen,
every second of the day im second quessin my life,
stuck in thoughts frozen..trying to let go...
reflection is whom im  opposen, im posen a threat,
not understanding my loneliness,  so...
im holding this, thoughts and feeling,
picturing a day on bended knee,kneeling, tellin you
my feeling, the feelings is true, you turn my  helpless why? into hopeless when..i dont wanna be your friend,i wanna meet worlds end, show you i am more than a
kiss nd hug,
im more than a,
i don't know shoulder shrug,
im more than a
then i am a here and will never be a never was,
i go the length, in 1 year, tell you I do, cause no matter what you do,
ill stick around as long as you want me too,
ill be that ***** stick witcha , snap picture in the background, tellin you every second i happy for you,while  slowly killin liver,
i know you can be better with me, but you with another *****, so
i let it goo, but let it linger, aint no ring on my finger, but  there's one in my heart if you could've looked alil deeper...you would seen how you left it alil bit torn apart.
its ok i worn the lost, i learn to floss, but heres no body like you, and im just cooping with an inevitable loss.

BY: Emmanuel JV Hernandez
5/6/14

I lay awake in bed holding my breath
grippin the sheets feeling close to death
Dreamin a world without you will have me feeling helpless and worthless less of a human being.

You make me better
I wish I known you sooner, I woulda never had let you get hurt,
having ya feelings growin in dirt,
like other losers.
on my knees tellin beggers cant be choosers,
on my knees with a promise ring tellin at least my love wont bruise ya.

Cause people took you for granted,
but no longer will you need a fistt,
all will you need is your lips cause ima have your hand in something to be,
future maybe?? Have another baby?
its crazy but thats life, when you pushin up daisy.

Mamita im lazy,
but my heart is not, it stands on two feet while holding its own just like you baby, it wants you as its crown.
So you can be held on top.
On top of my world and on my mind,
cause thats where you are in reality almost all the time.

Pardon my feelings that grow ahead of time, pass the ceilin thats just life on a heart monitor,
always on a thin line, cause you take  my breath away , barly breathin.

So dont mind my-
my sweet Dear, i only fear for for my heart to be taken or mistaken for something its not so I reveal my soul to you, cause thats all i got,
you on my mind alot and i think?
see I cant stop!
I dont know why? Ima hot head , with you in my mind im hot
in the skys like a star that been shot,
and the heat is commin,the hots for you have me burnin,

and im alil concernin i hope im not being played cause then  from this will, you defeat its purpose, and ima be back at square one again,
feeling worthless,
i open my self ahead of time,
so i pull open the close curtains so,
you can see thru my eyes in time you will know for certain,
that i am the realist! but i am not all perfect,
im just ahead of the curve like script cursive.

By: Emmmanuel jv Hernandez
7/6/13

born Dec 16 2010  Induced  early  cuz of complications but healthy and has all fingers & toes will be here until lungs mature more and weights gained amount needed to go home. sore but happy . no names will be listed if you want to know more please email me and i will send pictures and the rest of information to you (Friend's ONLY) thank you all for being strong for me when i wasn't and for supporting me through all this! i also have a  guy that im talking to he was there while Christopher Cartwright wasn't(the father)  he's a big help and its so weird that our bound and friendship is as strong as it is, it & k helps that we grew up in the same neighborhood  & knew each other threw other family members and friends. My sister on my dad side is so happy and im happy for her!  I have no regrets and I'm happy, just sad alil bit that its over ...i got em out safely then again its a bit tooo early/ pray for em and ty for all the well wishes and support.  i need to rest now its going to be a long day! LOVE YOU ALL TO MY CLOSEST FRIENDS.

i am aware, aware if your beauty,
How its devine,
And time  has nothin on your body, forever it curves , your words fall and the one that i pick up, are lines i wanna write, to get your attention, to grasp your mind.
I stare cause i dont wanna miss a moment, your the sun your true blinding beauty, and a morning smile that shines throughout heaven,  im surprised your not in movies.
i wanna know what you think, know who are, tell me who you be, and how can an angel like you cover your black feathers nd scars?
How many battles have you faught? How much heartache?  And how can you still stand strong and not fall?
You dont need to answer, im just truly captivated by you,
Who captures my sight, with eyes that dance with sunlight,
Without a flash of a camera,
Can a man like me handle ya?
I wanna hold you tell you how truelly you are special,
A heart so big all state hands couldnt caress you,
But i can, hands of man, whos blessed too,
You got me goin bananas runnin thru my temple,
I cant touch, so the feelin of wanting you is imensful.
So dear who I can i be near??
A angel like you , flys untouched,
Like 11s with no scuffs,
Its tough ,cause im tempted to touch, but i want your interest,
First, is it jay low? Or enough too much?
I wanna know soo, i dont over doo or rush,  i want you too smile or aleast eyes flutter interest with alil blush...
See ima artist, my loves a paint brush, your an  idea, i wanna brush upon ,
Caress your canvas,  cause theres nothing more defined as beauty as your face, eyes of dawn,  lips of life that can calm storms.
And hair that waves like the sea,
And a personality that glows like the halo you have,  hands soft and free,
More than any thing curves  worth a ride.
Thighs sweet like honey seepin up to a jar of a jewel  inside.
No disrespect, but head to toe you are a fine dime ,  with a mind intelligent aswell as sublime and kind, i wish i knew what its like to be cuff by you, cause im guilty of thoughts as a crime..
Your inviting, delighting, sweet all around.
Ima clown , but i dont joke when i say, when i look up and and down,
.Its hard to believe God made such a beautiful woman,who ls yet to have a crown.
Your strong ,  flawless, defined as one of a kind.
No one can come close to your stature,  and be as radiant as the way you truly shine.


-Deep Thought
Aka Emmanuel Jv Hernandez

My angles protect me from the devils wrath,
Stuck in the game that no one understands,
Tryna get away,
Closing my eyes wish for better days,
Because this blade feel so cold,
Against my skin,
Oh God please forgive me for sins,
And the pain i bring to me and to you,
The lies they say oh baby they arent true,
I made a deal with the devil,
Now our relationships on a different level,
Should of seen it coming,
Whats done is done but i am still humming,
The same songs to the end,
My dreams and imagination,
Prefectly at peace when I fly alil bit higher.

I NEED SLEEP!!!
my brain to shut up

I need to weep
And just maybe curl up

I need to flee
Before I burn up

I need some glee
And alil cheer up

I need a new leap
And definitely a new me

I NEED!!!

I stretch out my hands.. All i feel is the unending stretch of cold sheets
I close my eyes..try to remember ur feel..
Ur taste.. Ur smell
All I get is the taste of my tears..the smell of my despair .. The feel of my loneliness enveloping me..
I ask myself when wld all this end?? I'm growing weary
O my heart be still...my soul alil more patience..
I hear ur voice in my mind.. I feel ur breath all over my face.. I'm set ablaze
Burning all over
It's just abit more time..
And I'll be there
Wrapped in ur embrace.. Soaking in ur love
And out of it all I would rise up.. Stronger than ever... A new being.. A great one
All this pain , suffering and longing wont be in vain..but a far distant memory..

I turn around n look at the clock..counting down to it all..my beginning and my end...