i feel like i'm suffocating
       a saltwater fish in fresh water
                                    stuck in the wrong body
                      at the wrong time
         in the wrong life

i’m wrong

                           i can feel it
        in the way she looks at me
                condescends me
           in the way he ignores me
                    is disgusted by me

                          we all know why the air
               hangs more tense
     than a snagged fishing line

           we understand the implications
                                     but we keep it to ourselves
       in silence we agreed to forget
                     that a mother’s love is not unconditional

i was indiscernible from you

a decrepit overgrown ruin
with lichen
clinging to every brick
and ivy ****
invading every crack
you held me together
eroded me away

i let you grow over me
through me
without me

i was a charity of myself
until I stopped existing entirely