Another night pours it's frank sentiments on us. The heavy dew weather blows the earth of it's ample troubles. It clears the grass of burdened footsteps that roam this place aimlessly. With all eyes to the ground, they miss to meet opportunities (happiness) that could be sitting right under their misshaped noses. They can't seem to smell flowers blooming or hear the hearts that need them, so are they even looking for something (as they so claim) or simply looking away?

Among them her eyes darken and hope to be found soon.

  Walk with me a moment, though the air is cold i find your penny plain company warmer than freshly baked bread cooling off by a white window or maybe something sweeter like (you) cinnamon pie. Similar to them, who would rather lie to themselves than face the truth, our tongues split oceans with exhausted explanations for the thoughts we keep lonely and the needs we discard as unimportant. We're pretending to not have feelings or see the seasons that change with each pulsing beat, so has this game even started or will it part with done (love) at first sight?

Between us the lightning strikes and looks to capture our trembling smiles.

i'm jealous
of the eyes
that get to wake up
next to you

they get to see
your peaceful face
connect the freckles
on your cheeks
like constellations

lightly brushing
their finger
creating a new sky
on your face

they get to inhale
your sweet scent
and feel right at home

they get to hear
your rough gravely
morning voice
whisper 'hi'

all i have
are the memories
and the empty side
on my bed
where you should be

all i do
is lie here
and wait for you
hoping
that one morning
that will be me again

*s.m

The trouble with never sleeping is that you start to develop weird habits and because of my diagnosed anxiety disorder i am constantly paranoid that i will develop ocd and perhaps it will take over my life like mtv true life tells me it will. insomnia is crippling and demeaning because no one understands that i only remember what day it is because i have a ritual every morning at 3:47 am that i cross out yesterdays date and now it officially begins today. the demeaning part begins when someone asks me why im so tired and i have to explain to them that i dont remember what it feels like to sleep for more than 3 hours or i just say its been a long day because who has the time to listen me talk about my sleeping habits or lack there of. in fact, i dont even have the time to listen to myself talk about it even though i’ve had almost 76 hours straight to hear myself talk. i didnt always have insomnia, i think it welcomed itself when you left because i always used to sleep with you, in both meanings of the phrase. i was afraid of the dark so you bought me glow in the dark stars and stuck them onto your ceiling and wrote little love messages on them so when i couldnt sleep at night, i could watch the stars you made for me.

Not laying in your bed anymore caused a **** load of thoughts to come racing back to my head. i thought about the crickets who always stopped chirping at 2:38 am, i thought about how i could hear her mother's coffee maker gurgle from the kitchen even though i was 200 feet away and you always liked to snore in my ear. i thought about the way you painted your room a different color because you thought it made you more grown up. i thought about zipping the back of your dress up before a party almost 10 months ago. i thought about you leaving me to go overseas one day. i thought about the seas. i thought about a boat fighting its way through the ocean and wondering why it wasn't moving anywhere because the captain forgot to pull up the anchor. i thought about not being able to breathe because you're gone. although you're probably home asleep in your bed. you're not over seas. you're not under the seas.

Sometimes you don't need water to drown.