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wiltedaisies Nov 2013
its impossible to write about missing you
when i try search for the right words
all i find is a vast ache that swells
right underneath my solar plexus
as if someone had taken sorrow
and poured it into my soul

wells form between my eyelashes
you looked terribly ill when i saw you last
along with the leaves you withered to the floor
the colour drained from your radiant eyes
your skin pale and lifeless

my nana gave me hopeful words
"stay strong and she will too"
but you didn't stay strong, did you?
and did she? of course not
she tore every inch of herself apart
oceans spilled from her eyes
creating a puddle on the floor
which she drowned herself in

im not angry; im just upset
my great nana died in 2007, she would of been 94 today and it still hurts; i have an english exam tomorrow so i guess writing this was part of my revision anyway
wiltedaisies Nov 2013
i'm alive but im not here, not really
im stuck in a labyrinth of drowning sadness
craving to take the sharpest of blades
to cut out the monster living within me
i can hear it scraping away at my insides
and rotting my flesh back to front
i know you tied me together
but you forgot to do a double knot
the scars holding me together are snapping
and all the sickness is pouring out
and burning its way through the concrete

is there an ax to eliminate the memories?
a chainsaw to take the poison from my mind?
anything, just to get rid of these thoughts,
these deafening whispers in my mind

can i **** myself here, or should i do it outside,
so the mess on the carpet doesn't upset you?
wiltedaisies Oct 2013
when i was younger,
halloween meant dressing up
becoming a witch, ghost or skeleton
and dancing away in the night
everyone told horror me stories
but they didn't tell me this;
i will become my own horror story
because in a couple of years
every day will become an occasion
to pretend im somebody im not
and the scariest thing will be
wearing my own skin,
the one costume i cannot take off
the demons will infect my mind
and i can run away all i want
because in the light of the moon
the wolves will always call me back
wiltedaisies Oct 2013
today, my wounds began bleeding again
they oozed out unspoken words,
nights of sleepless tears and
102 drafted texts that were never sent
the clots of pain and fears spilled out from
my emotional wound that i subconsciously scratched, blood running down my arm and onto the floor
but others can’t see heartache
i cover up tiredness with pills and fake smiles
i’ve been too good at hiding from myself
i have it down to an art and the invisible blood leaves myself like a river desperate for the sea
wiltedaisies Oct 2013
theres a thunder inside of me
that cannot be silenced
the acid rain falls through
the crevices of my skin
each time burning the
rocks which i lean onto  
and maybe that's why
they all keep their distance
i tell them too much
my ****** up thoughts and
maybe that's why
they all erode and
disappear out my life

im a waterfall with too much water droplets
a forest fire with too many blazing flames

and as we always said
"everything's always my fault"

— The End —