Whenever something happens
Whether its good or its sad
My first thought is still to call you
But that would probably be bad

I cant help but wonder though
What you would do
If I picked up the phone
While I was thinking about you

Would you answer and be happy
Would we work everything out
Would we sit there and wonder
What our fight was even about

Would you answer and be angry
Would we yell...would we shout...
When we hung up the phone
Would I be left without any doubt

If I picked up the phone
Would you just ignore my call
Would you leave me to cry
Would you not care at all

Has it been too long
Since all those things were said
Would it just be pointless
Should I put this from my head

I still have to wonder
If I should just try
Could I possibly make it worse
Than the day we said goodbye?

People ask me what's going on
I tell them all I'm okay
I am a better liar than I thought
Because inside I feel gray

Without you here with me
Everything feels wrong
And whenever I see you
It is so hard to be strong

Best friends forever
That's what we always said
But that was the old you
And the old you is dead

From inside that corpse
A new you came
But ever since then
Nothing has been the same

With the old you it was easy
And I could always be myself
But with the new you it was difficult
You care for no one but yourself

So I put a fake smile on my face
And I try to fight back a tear
Because the truth is...
Loosing you was my biggest fear.

One of the easiest ways to be happy
Is to let go of what makes you sad
So how could letting go of you
Really be that bad

Our relationship has gone downhill
Things are getting out of hand
You've pushed me and you've hurt me
Now it's time to take a stand

I'm sick of being walked on
And so sick of being used
And whenever I'm around you
My self esteem getting bruised

Something has got to change
I'm through being shoved around
So I'm saying what is on my mind
No more backing down.

I've been torn down the middle
I've been split into two
Half of me loves you
But part of me is through

It's so hard to be with you
But so hard to stay away
So I wonder what to do
Each and every day

I know in my heart
That something has to be done
But I know in my soul
This battle can not be won

So now we've come to a point
Where I stay or I run
Could this really be over
Could we really be done?

I've stopped living for myself
I've stopped trying to be me
I don't know who I am
Or even who I should be

My opinions aren't my own
Just words drilled in my head
Always present, always there
Always filling me with dread

I sometimes wish I could go back
To how things used to be
But I know how these people are
And they've never liked me for me

I guess there's no turning back now
And I'll just have to move on
And just hope that some day
I'll find where I belong.

With every move I make
It's dieing to break free
It's trying to find a way
To take over me

As it rushes through me
I feel it take control
It has some sort of grip on me
Like I'm its little doll

I try to fight it back
With happy thoughts and ideas
But it is all no use
I am trapped by my fears.