Brought into this world, ****** and afraid,
My face blue, unable to cry,
I took my first breath in silence,
A cry buried in the depths of a heart not yet ready.
I woke up one day, six,
And found the bitter taste of my father's world,
Beer and cigarettes,
Ashen remnants of choices he never took back,
I swore I'd be nothing like him.
They taste gross,
Their sharp edges biting against the innocence I tried to hold.
I fell back asleep,
A sleep that carried me through the years.
I woke up at eleven,
Staring down at the chalk on the ground,
Scraped knees, tear-streaked cheeks,
A bruise on my soul, unseen but aching.
Falling asleep again,
Trying to outrun the weight of the world.
I woke up at fifteen,
Cigarette in one hand, beer in the other,
Guess my old man is still a part of me,
His ghosts clinging to my skin,
Yet I carry them like a burden I never chose.
I fell asleep again,
Hoping I could escape,
But the shadows lingered,
Uninvited, relentless.
I woke up at twenty four,
And the weight had shifted,
I put down the beer, swapped the cigarette for a vape,
A quiet rebellion, small but real.
I’ll fall asleep again,
But not as the same person.
I’ll wake up accomplished,
Surrounded by a loving community of friends and family,
Roots that stretch deeper than the chaos of the past.
I will not let my past become my future,
I will grow beyond what I was,
And the kid who couldn’t cry,
Will one day find their voice.