I remember the night you swore to the god you don't believe in that you didn't love me anymore.
The way your brown eyes morphed into a deep pitch black.
Blacker that our sorrowful souls combined.
I didn't think I'd ever hear those words.
But they crawled from my ears into my barely beating heart.
Stabbing every inch of it, naturally tearing it apart.
You see, we could have had it all but, the the god forsaken demons came back.
They crawled back into your mind..
and filled it like the the tears filling my small round eyes.
I almost drowned in the ocean of emotion.
You were no longer my lifeline.
And you swear you're fine.
Oh how you repeat it, that you're getting by.
I write and write every miserable thought.
My pages filling up like the darkness filled the sky as the days turned into nights.
Woe is me, woe is me.
I repeat those words so miserably.
The thoughts of losing the only thing I had choked me.
The thoughts wrapped their evil around my neck.
But the noose I'm making is going to be a lot tighter.
As my love grew deeper, my heart grew lighter.
Losing feeling, losing it's rhythm.
I wrote and wrote until I ran out of ink.
Now I'll make my way to the bathroom sink.
I'll peck and scratch at my skin.
I'll peck and scratch at the thoughts that I think.
My black ballpoint pen became my red ballpoint pen.
And I now continue to write again.
Eventually I'll run out of pages.
Oh my soft tan skin will make a beautiful canvas.
I ask and ask if you're absolutely certain that you don't need me.
And the answer remains the same.
You don't need me.
You don't need this.
So I scrapped together every memory, every kiss.
Oh the sweet bliss of pretending they stayed in place.
My love.
But the thing is, you're not mine.
Love.

I am walking through the mall,
your walking next to me.
we can't wake the baby,
I wish I knew why.

Each store sells something different.
Everything is so complicated.
Now you'r dragging me to a room.
The walls are white, so is everything else.
I'm scared,
I wish I knew why.

There is people all around.
There is about to be a show.
You're so excited.
Why are we here?
They herd us into a room
Now everything is red.
I'm terrified now,
I wish I knew why.

The show begins, it's magical and fantastical
there is magic and tricks.
"Now for our final act!"
Oh ****, what's this..?
We all clap, what's about to happen?
"We need only one, and i choose you"
A light shines on you and they come and take you.
I cry and freak out, you need to come back.
I wish I knew why.

"These people they arn't okay!
They want your soul!"
How i know this, I will never know
I see there portal and I jump in.
You're lying on a bed,you're ******* and strapped
"They are comming for you,
they are going to eat you,
they are all vampires. Please baby
let's go."
I wish I knew why.

I grab a magic wand and I speek words
I can't recall.
Now we are back in time, it's just me and you.
I remeber that day,
why are we here.
I wish I knew why.

It's a dance, for school that is.
You ask me to come outside.
I follow you out when a car comes flying past.
We have to help.
We run and stop the car just in time.
Someone comes running we saved the day.
"Hey it's time, time to watch the show."
You look at me excited to go.
I wish i knew why

"Maybe we shouldn't go"
I hate to beg and plead
"But i really need to see"
Thats all you have to say to me
"Why, it's just some horrifying
vamps!"
I scream and shout

You look at me weird, and start to walk off.
But because i love you, I follow real close.
I watch the show and you had a good time.
They didn't choose you and you were just fine.
I wish I knew why.

I'm ****** back into that portal ,
and the world reviels it's secrets
back in the day when you wanted to see them
you didn't, i stopped you
and now your dead.
When i went back I changed that fact.
Now you're mine, you were supposed to be mine.

There are times in a young woman's life
Where she has to protect herself
Protect her heart and words
Because nothing ever lasts
Unless you know boundaries
When it comes to love
When it comes to trust
When it comes to honesty
When it comes to security

Girls grow up thinking
''Growing up sounds fun''
But then, as time goes on
We begin to miss being *young
Being free spirits in terms of youth
In terms of thinking and feeling
And the importance of confidence
As well as being free to have fun
As if life had just begun

Young girls are more confident
Well, in the childhood days
But as they grow and understand
The importance of beauty overshadows them
And as they go through puberty
They realize how much beauty
Is a major factor in happiness
When they become obsessed
With self-appearances
And body types
Make-up
Alcohol
Drugs
*****

The moon in the sky, is the home of father time
and the sun is where mother nature is confined
she sleeps while he shines
when she's awake, he hides

He floats in the night like a bird of prey
peering through the trees to the ground to watch the mice play
giving light to us human-beings that stay up this late
to see the beauty that darkness creates

She rises up from the horizon like a spotlight
shining fuel onto every inch of life
neutralizing the temperature, setting the equilibrium right
just as us humans used wind to fly kites
the love letters from the sun to the moon take flight
every once in a while their paths will cross
and here on earth our light is barely lost
enough to illuminate the two lovers as they take their clothes off

What a waste of time
Spent drooling
Hopelessly
My eyes, drowning.
All the lights
Closing in
And darkness occupied my vision.

Blood shot eyes
Burning
Is this really living?
Resting
My eyes permanently shut

And what will it take
To keep me awake
For a simple second

Fumbling finger tips
Lazily tripping
On the mapped out seams
Of my factory sewn dress

And I am left
Vacant
Swallowed by the *****
And the rain
Sea sick of the games you play
I stared into your eyes
And I looked so defeated
Has life finally caught up with me?

When I kissed you for the first time, it wasn't how I had imagined it.

The plan was to bring you flowers, and beg you on my knees.
Take me in, give me a chance.
Fall in love with me.

I was drunk, greedy,
Bursting with a lust you wouldn't feed.

I drank so much ***** I couldn't see more than the space you left between us, and when I found your lips I kissed you hard,
And it wasn't romantic like I meant it to be.

You were falling though, according to plan. Your fingers traced my back, and you cried when you found me falling too,
But to the bathroom floor, red cup still in my hand,
Instead of falling for you.

I'm deeply sorry for that kiss,
And how I let it land.
When you pulled away, and you left me there,
I didn't understand.
It's taken me months, but I'm sober now.

I kissed you because I was lonely,
I was wasted and out of my mind,
You were drunk and speaking yours.

But you left because you loved me.