And for once,

she is still.

she breathes in lilacs
and breathes out daffodils

she cocoons all winter
nursing her summer wounds
she flew too close to the sun, you see.

her skin left tarnished;
gaping
her spirit
her spirit does not decay.

she flies close because she can
because of the fire inside her
moth to a flame

her wax wings soften
like your heart when you first saw her

"i will fly again next year"
she whispers
through her tears

Punitive damages descend
on your determination

Decidedly so, you weep.

Dry heaves wreak havoc on your insides

You leap off the canyon in the dead of winter

Just so the freezing water
engulfs you
forces you
to breathe deeper.

I am told I am to be
Soft
Gentle
"Nice"

Told to sit pretty and swallow quietly
And enjoy it
I am told not to perceive my fellow women as safe havens but rather
Battle fields
I must be better
Thinner
Thick in the right places
Complacent
Thankful a man desires me
Who am I without him anyway

"Remember who you were, before they told you who to be."

I have a fire inside me and it rages
I don't need help finding my voice
I was born with it after all
I don't need a confidence booster
A crash diet
A mans bank account
I have my own thank you
I don't need my ***** grabbed

I am a fortress
I constructed these walls myself
I am not any less of a woman if I don't
Choose to shave my legs
Or paint blush on my cheeks
Purse my lips just right

I
Do not
Consent
To your definition
Of
How I am
Supposed
To
Be.

She was born in December
Outside
In the snow

She read one thousand pages
before her seventh birthday

She climbed forty trees in a fortnight

She quieted the unruly children with one look
all three hundred of them

She ran the fastest mile
She'd run over ten thousand miles before she died

Ate a whole cow once,
slept with 500 men

Never satisfied,
never satisfied.

She cured heartache,
She played the violin
Cello
Harpsichord
each note spun like Vivaldi

Always playing,
never satisfied.

She climbed Everest
"Not enough!"
she sighed

She raised three daughters
Fierce as hell, all three

And they raised seven daughters,
the fiercest of them all

She did it in stride
Never faltered
Never celebrated

She sung in the opera
in her spare time

Never satisfied,
never satisfied.

I eat fear with a spoon.
I chew it well,
Deliberately
I swallow it with a splash of whiskey
and lemon.

I wipe humility from the
corners of my mouth
with a paper napkin,
adorned in gold.

I spit courage
it falls at your feet.
You silently wish you could spit as far.

I wipe weakness from between my eyes,
Although it takes only two strides for it to
firmly re-root itself on my crown.

I wipe again.

I drink self love,
love from others.
I drink innovation and determination
I absorb piano notes through my skin
They dance in my veins.

An ebb and flow of a thousand rivers.

I rest,

But just for a little while.