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Andy Brendell Dec 2019
Once upon a neverworld, the lights shimmer down through the porthole into the damp abyss and bring life back to a distant memory of a dream. Breathing life back in to this solemn place where the clownfish struggle to tell a joke, the bottom eaters are frozen still, and the desolate skeleton bears no emotion. You reach in for a bountiful treasure and find that it was not the gold or dabloons as the stories implied. The treasure lies in the beauty of the lost souls found here, a dream crashed by fate and left as a reminder that even through darkest times and left in the darkest places our soul story will live on for centuries. So long as someone decides to turn the page.
Andy Brendell Sep 2014
Am I caught up in a fairytale or nestled in a dream? At times its so hard to tell, I'm buried in between. This path is narrowed and the funds are tight, so how the **** do I have the right? Memories invade this secondary world I fought to make; karma's a ***** for ***** sake. How can a person like me deserve any of this ****? The plague infecting my mind, it only says r.i.p.
Andy Brendell Dec 2013
Surprise looked me in the eye, an instant rush,
One moment that was purely innocent.
Surprise swooned me into arms, bore open,
Multiple moments that were so naive.
Surprise betrayed me in the beginning,
In that moment, after years of artful diversions,
Surprise was forgiven.
This first love, puppy love, three years it took.
Three years it took me to realize what one song,
Spit in seconds less than just three minutes.
(non-poetic rant, just bear with me, too many concerned people on other sites)
I know now, despite every other outcome or possibility that my thoughts stirred up, that it never really mattered whether I truly forgave you or not, you knew that you had leverage over me because of how I felt for you. You knew that no matter what I did, however hard I tried to push you away, that if I got a call that you had been hurt or were going to end up being hurt that I would be there no matter what. That power was something that you used against me to keep me around. People may not have "magic" but they sure do have power. I made a mistake by staying involved with someone who would toy with my emotions, and it took me a **** long time to realize that I hadn't been thinking properly. It literally took removing myself entirely and then some time after that to really grasp everything that had happened between us. Although, that being finally said, I do not regret the fact that that had happened, and it wasn't entirely miserable. I learned a lot from you, about myself, the universe, and anything in between. I do not regret having done the unthinkable in forgiving you because I wouldn't have had that experience. I wish the best for you, and I will be a friend, but you have to understand why I cannot ever lose footing on my stance again, not with you at least. So for today, just let sleeping dogs lie and let guard dogs be. For tomorrow, one may not know for certain, but what I do know is that I don't want to worry about tomorrow until tomorrow.

Sincerely, a love that was never meant to be.
Andy Brendell Sep 2013
Say one more time the crown of beauty's dying. Without the shine the gown of beauty's wilting. 'Tis nothing fair a timid being. Fear not, stand tall against them halt from fleeing. Prove thy might young maiden now before ye bitter.


Dear Restless, don't you know when you mess with the Mother it comes back twofold? Reckless actions masking your denial feeding her disapointment. Striving to get your way, darling, but you'll never be happy. One wrong move after another and she's coming for you baby one way or another.


One day, one night, lost track, lost time. Standing alone I see all to be done, but lack ambition to clean the slate. Whereas, together I'm blinded and forgetful. Seconds pass, alright, but seconds build to minutes as a steady trickle builds to a stream. Soon enough I find myself trapped in a river. I can't escape, I'm caught in a current of disassociation. So what if I drown here? No, I want want more more. Every second a thought runs by and like the trickle turns into a dream. I feel that I think I can, but as I think this there's another stream building, the one that's pulling me back. As I'm drowning, the seconds tick..tick..tick. Just one strong lunge and I'm air bound to a new element, the one I was meant to survive in. Soon I will take a lungfull of that bountiful production the leaves breath for me. I will bask in the glorious light and love to be loved. Just one .. Strong .. Lunge.


Just get on your feet and run, baby, run. Glance behind you once, no shame, twice and you'll lose your footing. I tripped when I tried to get out of misery, but I'm standing up now and tying those laces tight. Moral of these things is normally not to run anymore.. Not here, I intend to keep going.


This road we travel on may some day bring us to our peace, but in the meantime we'll roam this place one offbeat path at a time. Join me on a magical adventure to nowhere and I swear you will never forget it. Peace, love, and wickedry shall set you free.
Andy Brendell Jul 2013
So sick,
sick of the torment
the shattered fragments
of words spit
from momentary rage.
So sick,
sick of the silence
the endless dialogue
running through my head
to find nobody around
to hear me out.
So sick,
sick of the lack of
nothing being enough
the void between where I am
and where I want to be.
So sick,
sick of the questions
the continuous banter
that means nothing.
So sick,
sick of the *******
the tiresome surface
which rarely divulges,
I want more, more,
but wants shall not be received.
Andy Brendell Jun 2013
I don't know what it's like,
to wake up one morning, excited
to tell him of the crazy dream
you had, and walk in to find
that he's walked out for good.

I don't know what it's like,
to spend your free time, trying
to search for a man you thought
just left you on a curb, and see
that he didn't know you exist.

I don't know what it's like,
to lose the man you could
have sworn was invincible,
and wake up every morning
with such uncontrollable grief.

I don't know what it's like,
to have a dad that you can
count on day in and day out
to be there to support you for
every little struggle in life.

I do know what it's like,
to have a father who spends
his free time with beer, and
yells and emphasizes his point
by pushing people around.

I do know what it's like,
to be told that you'll never
amount to anything from the
only person you have to
support anything you do.

I do know what it's like,
to find your own family
and make a life for yourself
even though you still go home
every night living in fear.

I do know what it's like,
to leave the man that was
the cause of so much pain,
and to live with the memories
still trying to move forward.

I do know what it's like,
to think that this day is pointless.
I may have a real dad, still alive, but he is not my father. To all the people out there who have been father figures to me, I appreciate everything you have ever done for me. Appreciate a father today, but remember that it doesn't HAVE to be your own.
Andy Brendell May 2013
An end, a sad sad end with a bitter amen.
Lost hope, no faith, no way to get back again.
Four words don't mean a thing, but also the world she's ripped to shreds.

Nothing, empty empty with nowhere to escape.
One day, one night, just a moment from then it disappears.
All life has been nothing but lies, but a structure on conformed ideals.

A line, a petty petty line with a meaning unseen.
No rhyme, no scheme, just a pattern and a beat.
Take all lost words to heart, but the thoughts are often misplaced.
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