Hi,
My name is--

Nothing.
Never mind.
I forgot that I don't have one.
You can't know me.

You don't know me....

At least that's what you told them...

You could never just admit it.
You would never just tell them.
You should have went out shouted it out,
Loud enough for the whole world to here you.
But I only ask of this because you were so ashamed of me.

I love you...
And you know this
Because you know you loved me...

Cause we were together

Yeah.
We were a thing
I couldn't have just imagined it
We spent 4 months together

Cuddled up in the back of your mom's car
Laughing at my jokes
And spilling drinks
Arms around each other
Lips locked together.....

But now you say that you don't know me??

Every.
Single.
One.
Of my deepest darkest secrets has been invested into your very soul.
****** into your hands for you to hold onto.

And in return I had gotten trustful looks of lies.

And now every time you look at me...
You turn the other way and laugh

Because you know I'm a freak.
You know what's wrong with me!
You know everything!

But you still say that you don't know me...
But you know you do.
You know you loved me!

And I know that I loved you....
And I know that you know you loved me too

So I am just waiting.

Waiting on the day you will tell the world

That you loved me.

All I wanted you to do is not deny this.

Deny that there was an us.

That you know that our laughs
And our smiles
And our times together
That our everlasting foreverness
Was not made up
It was true
We were real

And you loved every bit of it....
Including me.

Hey,
It's me.
And Baby...
I'm still waiting.












© 2013 Kendra Bowman

Don't you remember?
We were best friends.
We loved each other.
Don't you remember?
We talked about the future.
Everything seemed so certain.
So what happened?
Everything went from "is" to "was"
and "yes" to "maybe."
So what happened?
The time I used to spend with you
I now spend wondering where I went wrong.
Am I to blame?
I let things get out of hand.
I let you have your way.
Am I to blame?
I fought too hard
when I should have let you go.
So where do we go from here?
You pull me in close
when you feel like it.
So where do we go from here?
I want to be strong,
but I want you, too.

It's not as if I've never seen you cry before
I have, so many times.
And though each time I felt sad,
This time it hurt.
You were always the strong one,
The one who didn't think, just did.
I guess I just had you up on this pedestal.
But the knowledge that you're scared,
That you're struggling,
It terrifies me to the core.
I needed to see you do it with ease,
As you've done everything else life has thrown
I needed to see you loving it:
This newfound, independent life.
Because then, I at least had a chance.
If it scares you,
What am I going to do?
How will I be able to cope?
And every day it gets a little bit closer
Every day I get a little bit more scared.
It's a part of life,  I know.
I'm going to have to do it someday, I know.
It'll be good for me, I know.
But am I ready?
I'm not so sure.

I was told to just act naturally,
but what a funny thing to say.
To act would be to lie,
to be deceitful, to betray.
To be natural is impossible,
at least, I think so in a way.

I’m not afraid to be myself,
but I am not just me.
I’m a product of everyone I know,
and of everything I see.
But no one knows what is real or not,
So I’ll pretend to just act naturally.

What is Love?
is it the way you
get nervous and
pace with your
hands (not) on
your hips?
the way you
purse your
lips together
when you
get angry?
the way you
can't help but
smile when
someone makes
a ***** joke?
is it the way your
eyes light up when
you talk about her?
Is it the way you
cared for me so
unconditionally?
the way you make
butterflies flit and
flit in my stomach
even when i was
asleep?
even when tears
consumed my
eyes to the point
where i couldn't
even see you in
front of me
anymore?
the deepness of your
voice consumes my
thoughts and i
cant swim out.

Love is the way you
say my name.
Love is that knowing
glance you give me.
Love is when you
wrapped your arms
around me tightly
because you knew i
was fighting my
demons.
Love is when i stifled back
tears when as I told you
I was happy for
you.

my heart is on fire
from the poison you
left over and im
burning a whole
hell of a lot,
dear.

i thought i could handle
not being yours but when
trying to describe why i
feel the way i do i just
completley breakdown.

i tried describing your eyes
to someone who has never had the
beautiful chance to be in your vicinity and
i could barely get through to the
part of where i compare thy
eyes to an ocean after a
strong storm.

what should i do?
its easier now to be around you but
should i even try?
you've picked me up and brought out my
wings but can i really fly?

oh dear, please tell me because
i'll drown without you here.
im drowning in the ocean that is
you and im not sure if i should
cry out in fear.

maybe im better off in a
kiddie pool.

****.

There isn't much keeping us away,
from each other I mean.
It's not like we are in prison,
there are no chains here.
So why are we not touching?
Why are you there and I'm still
not?
If tomorrow isn't guaranteed,
which I am told true,
I'd rather be walking, thinking, breathing
next to you.  
Let my love be the bridge that your feet trust.
Because there isn't much keeping us away.
All that's between us,
it's only air.