What inspires you?
a friend once asked me
I looked at him for
a while then answered
I'm inspired by the
pain of the tormented
souls that hovers around
us and the late nights
of whiskey shots and
sad songs by the pool
and lipstick stains on
the broken wine glass
I'm inspired by the
history of what love
is supposed to be
by the couples who
chose to stay and
never left their lover's
side who stayed during
the storms of recklessness
and nights of madness that
drove them crazy but they
stayed no matter what they
stayed and they didn't leave
I'm inspired by the agony
I put myself through every
night I keep thinking of him
the suffering that kills me
slowly yet so **** softly
the masochism in myself
and the sadism in his
twisted terrifying flame of love

It's 4:55 AM
And I'm wide awake
waiting for a txt from
you or maybe a call
but I know that you're
there in your bed safe
and sound sleeping
like an angel from
far above so peacefully
that the other angels
watch over you and
smile

I can't write anymore
I can't write because
all I think of is you
and all I want is you
I can't think of anything
but you and your eyes
and that smile that takes
my breath away and that
laugh that brings me joy
and the way you fool
around I can't *******
write because every time
I try to write I end up
writing about you and
you and nothing but
you and I can't do this
anymore I need to write
but I need you even more

2:00 AM in the morning thinking
of you and what you might be doing
remembering the way you stare at me
and smile remembering the way you
mistakenly touch my hand and look
away the way you play with my hair
teasing me coming so close but you
end up leaving me yearning for your
love but you're never pleasing me

2:15 I stand and stare at the mirror
I look at myself and try to reconsider
every step I took trying to get near
every move I did to make it so clear
that all I want is you but I hide the fear
of losing a friend and a potential lover
all this pain I have I just need to cover  
but every time I try all I get is an ERROR

2:30 I take out an ice blue ****
**** it I tried to be **** strong
but everything I do turns out wrong
and I know this pain will take too long
to fade away so I keep singing this song

I once bumped into an old friend
we sat there and talked about how life
drove us into madness and left us with pain
I asked him furiously, why don't we get
the joy instead of pain and the vain?
the pleasure and euphoria of *******?
the endless love of being absolutely insane?
my friend looked at me and laughed
hysterically, I recall then said to me
my dearest, we're ******* writers
we don't get the joy nor the pleasure
in our existence we get that in our
words, poems and prose but in reality
we can only dream of that never ending phase

*****, who you think you are?
you're just a drunk fella at the bar
coming to my face and dissing me
your opinion ain't **** to me
my words are my **** pride
I wrote when my heart cried
I wrote when my soul died
I wrote and god knows I tried
to be better but now I just ride
with poetry running in my veins
and prose coming straight from my heart

I look at you and see everything I've ever been
everything I've hated in myself and loved in you
everything I wanted to change and everything
that made me fall deeply and recklessly for you
fall for how imperfectly perfect you really are
lost and confused not knowing where to go in life
I see the pain hidden behind that breathtaking smile
the agony of being alone with the people you love
the agony of having no where and no one to belong to
no one to relate to, no one who could understand this
madness, fury and rage that makes you want to leave
just let go and leave it all behind and start over
somewhere new with someone new but it's sad
that you can't ******* pack up, just leave and let it go
the people you loved the places you've known
the pain that's stuck on your heart and soul
I look at you and see myself through those eyes
see my pain my anger and my hidden flaws
I see you and see in you everything that I've ever been