As the air turns brisk the leaves fall like coloured paper on the disappearing green
I take on a daunting task that most men in the new world have never seen.
I stand alone in a brightly lit room with music playing equipment at the ready.
Trying in a way only the ancient would know to keep my hand firm and steady.
How many more opportunities like this will play out in my final living years?
Pain racks an aging body and soul, I am now only afraid of fears.
I grasp the blade and approach the task at hand careful with every slice
Trying to be sure beyond doubt that all I reap will be enough to suffice.
This is the chore that comes about perhaps twice to a stalwart man
Standing over the carcass, glaring and planning as only a hero can.
This turkey has lost and I will clean its sturdy bones until they shine
When the job is done and the bowl sits quaking on the board...he’s mine!

I wander aimlessly around my tiny world, cringing at the pain
I worry about tomorrow’s plan and curse at today’s rain.
Joints of hell and fire make every step a burden,
yet no end in sight and more of the same is certain.
I want to stand as tall as a little man and breathe fire,
not be known as a poet without words or a liar.
I want to battle through the agony and avoid the tears
I need to dig a little deeper to make sure I hide my fears.
Older may be better when discussing the fine wines
But in the body of an old man it’s a world of wrinkles and lines
I recall the early days as many writers do, words flowed like beer
music never stopped and there was always more to hear.
Looking in a morning mirror is a terror in itself
I see the face of a statue that belongs on someone’s shelf.
Where is the smile and all the character that made me young
where is all the harmony for the songs I’ve always sung?
Will this happen to everyone as years slip through their hands
Will all my friends and family watch the sifting sands?
Time will tell I have been told as I wither and fight on
I hope the best of me is coming.... but not gone.

As I close in on the final moments of my 60's, I tremble a bit, cry a lot and worry even more. It is an inevitable moment except for those who depart early. I should be celebrating my accomplishments as few as they are and my 70 years.....but it is hard to deal with the fact that the finish line is in sight. Age, decease and failure all gang up on you at a very inappropriate moment. A moment you can't avoid unless lightning gets you first, or a random bus.
I envy all the seniors who take old age in stride and simply "wait" to go......with full acceptance and sometimes even gratitude, if pain is their partner. I deal with my pain the best way I can and I look with admiration at friends who have surpassed me in years and health issues and are still bouncing around enjoying life without fear ...or at least not showing it.
May I walk down the aisle to the end of the red carpet with a semblance of a smile and perhaps even a poem on my lips  or a song in my voice.
Yet I am going through a time of concern, annoying those I love and accomplishing nothing.
Words escape me and the courage to share my issues just isn't there. So I carry on, being a stone in everyone's shoe, a rain shower spoiling  the summer days .
I am working on it but I am fairly sure by the time I find the remedy I will be ashes on someone's mantel.

I sit in wonder amazed at the pain of death and the knives it injects
into the empty souls left behind.
I stare in confusion at the blood that fogs my groggy vision
and terrifies my throbbing mind.
How do we turn off the shooting arrows that pierce our hearts
and leave wicked scars to bear?
When do we heal from all the vicious wounds we carry
how do we show the world how we care?
When does the door open to allow us freedom from pain
how do we bandage the cuts and holes?
Are we meant to continue on day to day in the sun
but dragging behind our empty souls?
Questions that we all ponder as we go about our lives
afraid to lose the ones we love.
We watch the sun go down and rise again everyday
It's the only thing that is guaranteed from above.

I am an endangered species because I am the only one
what will happen when I die and I am finally done?
It will be as tragic as the day the sun finally dies
or when a lover gets caught telling foolish lies.
There is no other species quite like me or like you
we are lost in a world of circles with cages from the zoo.
I will stretch my ability to see and live as long as I can
daring the society that laughs at me to find another man.
I will watch the stars streak across the midnight sky
jealous of their movement and the way they silently fly.
I know time has a painful limit and calls each of us,
we must stand up when our name is called without a fuss.
In the meantime I will smell the flowers and sip the wine
listen to the music and read the stories line after line.
I will pretend that I can't hear when someone finally calls
I will not move but stand like an old car that stalls.
I will refuse my place in line and look staunchly away
maybe they can try again on another more dreary day.
Today is far too sunny and made for a walk in the park
and tonight will be too warm and gentle in the dark.
Just say no, there is no reason to admit or agree
keep on walking through the trees and feeling free.
Many more years are planned for me and  you
many things are waiting for us to try to do.
So say goodbye to leaving and hold on tight
for the ride is not over until your out of sight.

To all those who have never had a dog….you were never able to see the tilt of the head when a question was asked….        
To all those who never had a dog …you missed the peacefulness of a walk on a summer day with a companion of the highest order.
To all those who never had a dog…….having a head rest itself on your knee and look up in love is not for you.
To all those without a dog..... you will never get a lick or a nose bump of love.
To all those who have never had a dog…….the wag of a tail, signaling love and happiness will not be yours.
To all those who never had a dog…….you will not share an evening dinner with a most appreciative friend.
To all those without a dog….. you will never hear the bark of protection in the night.
To all those without a dog…..you must recognize that the warm loving dark eyes that look at you with respect and love will be a thrill for someone else.
To all those who are without a dog….do not squander the chance, do not look down another road for love and friendship…..it waits posed on four beautiful legs …staring and asking for your heart.

I lean over her, resting on my elbow as I stare into her sleeping face.
I brush a wisp of hair away from her eyes so that I can kiss them lightly
as she dreams softly and gently of I don't know what.
I think of all our moments, the good, the bad and the in between.
Her lips look inviting as she breathes the air of a princess in a fairyland.
It seems like hours as I stare and remember, those special minutes
that cause a soul to tremble or a heart to ache.
Her pillow is full of creases and folds where her  head has laid all night.
Morning peaks through the window and brings with it a bright morning sun
but it will do nothing for me, because I lay here watching, feeling, entranced by this woman. I am haunted by a very chilling fact. It is not a sudden break up or a jealous love story or even an angry word.
I realize as I always do on these spring mornings that the lady I stare at and love so deeply in my badly tangled bed is not really there....she is a mystery that comes to me each morning.
A mystery that reminds me I have no one, that the beauty I long for will never lie beside me.
How many more mornings will I spend on this tragic wasted  love.