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 Jul 2013 wanderer
NitaAnn
And Just Me.
No clichés…
No humor…
No pretending…
Just Nita without the famous mask talking to you
And you know who you are, if you’re still here, and if you read this
(however, if you read this and you even think it’s you, but it isn’t then it probably applies to you – so yeah, then I’m talking to you too)

Last night I cried for you…
I cried for you and I cried for me…
I cried for all of us.
I cried for all of the hardship & pain you have had to endure in this life,
I cried at the unfairness of it all.
I cried for all the kids and adults who were damaged beyond repair
By the people who were supposed to love them the most.

I cried because you trusted me enough to reach out to me
I cried because I wasn’t sure what to do to help.
It broke my heart to hear you say that no one loves you
And to know that you really believe you are bad and unlovable.
I know you’re scared
I know you hurt
I know that you think there is only one way out of the all-consuming pain.
I believe you when you say you can’t do it anymore.
I know you feel that way.
I know because I feel that way too.

I know about all of those things.
What I don’t know is how to help you get through it.
How to make it okay for you.
For any of us.

I care about you.
I love you.
But I know that my voice is not nearly as loud as the critic inside of you.
The one who has convinced you that you don’t matter
That you are bad and unlovable the world would be better off without you.
I don’t know how to fight that voice either.

If I were with you right now
I would sit with you
I would bandage your cuts for you.
I would tell you in person that I care.
I think of you
I cry for you
I wonder how you are doing.
In fact, I’m wondering how you are doing right now.
I don’t know if you are dead or alive.
I don’t know if you made it through the night.
I hope you did but I don’t know.
That’s selfish of me to say – because I understand not wanting to,
And the mere pain of actually “waking up” day after day.

I’m sorry if my suggestions last night seemed to you like putting a Barbie band-aid on a point blank shotgun wound to the chest. I’m sure it must have felt like that. Sometimes I wish I had a tourniquet instead. But I don’t. But at least I didn’t offer you any kool-aid, or tell you to hold an ice cube, or peel an orange , right? (cuz we know that **** don’t work for sure!)

I don’t know the way out of this, my friend.
If I did, I would scream it from the rooftops.
But I hope you know that even though I am absolutely 200% insane & totally unhelpful,
I do care about you.
And I thank you for inviting me into your life…and for leaving your footprint on mine.
 Jul 2013 wanderer
NitaAnn
Tangled
 Jul 2013 wanderer
NitaAnn
Collapsing into myself…
My body feels too heavy and so very empty at the same time.
Pulled down by the weight of not wanting to go on...
I have found myself slipping, once again trying on the thoughts of…
’I want out’.
I feel terrible.
Physically I am bone weary tired, bleeding and empty, filled with pain.
I wander around,
lost and confused
unable to grasp onto any reality.
 Jul 2013 wanderer
Elaina
How
 Jul 2013 wanderer
Elaina
How
How do you connect
Knowing what you feel is right
The mind, with the heart?

A Haiku
 Jul 2013 wanderer
Katlyn Orthman
There and gone again
Where are you?
I whisper in the quiet of the night
Hypnotic stars blanketing the sky
In the shadows do you lay?
Where are you?
My fingers barely brush the veil
Before you are gone
Again
I am in your trance
Following your heartbeat
You I smell in the fragile breeze
Soft and sweet the aroma fills me
Where are you?
Come out come out
My searching heart begs of you
Show yourself to me
One who manipulates the shadows
And dances with the stars
I hear you, smell you, but cannot see
Why must you torture me
Give yourself to me
So I may rest again
From the earth I rose
Necromancers
Spirt dancers
Find me I must see
This heartbeat that has woke me
From my sleep
 Jul 2013 wanderer
Rin
Kakurenbo
 Jul 2013 wanderer
Rin
I had fun today.

We played hide and seek,
your memories and I.

I was it
so I closed my eyes
and counted to ten.

One..
Two..
Three..
I heard them scatter
and run.

Four..
Five..
Six..
I think a couple left
through the back door.

Seven..
Eight..
Nine..
The house,
it got quiet.

Ten..
I opened my eyes
and ran after them.

I tried to look everywhere.
They just disappeared.

Somehow I have a feeling
I'll never see them again.

Nevertheless, it was fun.

Hello, I'm Rin.
What's your name again?
 Jul 2013 wanderer
st64
seams
 Jul 2013 wanderer
st64
hard skin of life to penetrate
soften that piercing stare

1.
seems a shot spiked with kindness does the trick
that’s how we button up the moon’s sides with silver thread
to keep its seams from splitting solemn sides
and spilling all its jolly secrets: whorls of fingerprints sinking *steadily
into luna-grooves
like a neat domino-stacked roll on a never-ending trip into black holes
not far from Ursa Major

2.
to grant a delightful hop up and throw seeking eyes over the orb’s gentle curve
take a little look-see
the tiniest peek into Tucanae
where tidal forces push small clouds
and outstrip the western winds
towards cunning straits
to subtly tie into bows
cut ribbons of fate

drink a dram of mercy from a well-behaved thimble
yet poems don’t pay no bills now
when words tinker with heart’s mettle

3.
wonder if sagacious rue repays in full
or satisfies the exceeding cost  
of the hankering in a vessel
caught eddying in giant nacred jetsam
while casting minute gems before the moon’s eyes
it’s nigh impossible to hide behind the sun

4.
best be ready with prêt-a-porter life-pennies
and be
wise to always carry a pocket full of sorrys


stitch 'em seams together now
it all comes together
nice and neat





S T, Moonday, 15 July 2013
hope larking with the fates
uses not laughter as bait to
.... come bite in the ****!

I don't usually split infinitives, but that line came direct from ... visiting muses :)
yessssss...... pure magic!



sub-entry: Just A Song Before I Go

Songwriters: NASH

Just a song before I go,
To whom it may concern.
Travelling twice the speed of sound
It's easy to get burned.

When the shows were over
We had to get back home,
And when we opened up the door
I had to be alone.

She helped me with my suitcase,
She stands before my eyes
Driving me to the airport,
And to the friendly skies.

Going through security
I held her for so long.
She finally looked at me in love,
And she was gone.

Just a song before I go,
A lesson to be learned.
Travelling twice the speed of sound
It's easy to get burned.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN97riXMkkc
 Jul 2013 wanderer
Ting-Jun
Walk with me to the ends of this sad world,
Come follow me to where the grey clouds twirl.
Walk beside me, not in front or behind,
Follow me to where rules are undefined.
Walk alongside me 'til your feet give way,
Come follow me, just please meet me halfway.
Walk next to me to where sky and sea meet,
Follow me to where mankind is complete.
Slowly waiting for the leaves to turn green,
When the spring arrives and the calves are weaned.
Candles, candles, oh how their rays of light,
Burns our weak eyes with it's dazzling might.
Looking forward to when the sun won't set,
Forever I'll stare at your silhouette.
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