She holds the blade
Like a trophy
Proudly won
To be adorned
Slicing her skin
She feels
No pain
Emotions left her
Too long ago

She holds the blade
And has no worries
She knows
It will somehow help
She holds the blade
And knows
Defiance will guide her
It has been the only one
There

So, what does love feel like?
Does it hurt? Is it great?
Do you lie awake at night?

Late nights are when my thoughts linger
I think too deep and begin to ponder
Why life has no purpose but to bring joy or pain
We have so much to lose but much more to gain
Many people give up too fast
Instead of living in the present, they focused on the past
These thoughts strike in the middle of the night
And they make me wonder with all of my might
I haven't lost that much
The only thing I fear is to lose all trust
Half of that is already gone
It got swept away with old love songs
My thoughts are getting foggy an hard to see
The midnight hour is the key

Midnight was approaching
So I got ready
I had to make sure everything went great
Make sure things were steady

Midnight is here
And I'm waiting
I turn away
As couples are kissing

Midnight came and you weren't there
All the disappointment and hurt, I can't bear
Slowly breaking..
Way to ring in the new year.

Cruel and ignorant
You think you've won
The war isn't over honey
Oh it's just begun
Your bombs hit cold
Mine hit hot
You'll get what you have coming
Don't think that you'll not
Funny, abandonment
You think it's so easy
Honey please
I'll make sure you won't forget me
Hear my name
See my face
You'll regret the day
You abandoned me

Today I saw you
Our eyes met
Like they've been searching
For each other forever
You smiled
And I swore I saw 
A twinkle in your eye
I convinced myself otherwise
And put my guard up
You waved 
And broke my guard down
I smiled and forced myself
To look the other way
When our eyes met
After all this time
I was surprised 
One pair didn't cry

That night we shared on the stairs
When I was crying my eyes out
You gave me a tissue and pulled back my hair
And understood me without a doubt
And we talked.

Today I talked with someone new
And it reminded me of that night
Every second I thought of you
And regretted our fight
And you're gone.

Sometimes you and I would be on the phone
Never is it the same
I really wish you'd come home
I think it was my family to blame
And I'm sorry.

Her smile is gone
Her laugh too
No more talking
She's all
Blue

Her soul is empty
She's lost all hope
Because, sadly
She finally
Broke

And as though she read my mind
She walked away
And just like that
I'd lost a friend
Someone who was there though it all
Now gone
Oh well
I thought
Just another open space in my heart
As always
So alone
Growing more lonely every day
Not a surprise
Given any day
I would have chosen to live alone
I would have been by myself
It's better that way
After all
The life of a changeling
Is a lonesome one

Things came crashing down
You weren't there
No, instead you turned around
Avoiding the whole mess
Things came crashing down
And you couldn't have cared less

I think about you day and night
I begin to dream
Thoughts that make my heart take flight
I smile from ear to ear
Singing love songs
Loud enough for the world to hear
Oh this feeling is so grand
I dream of us soaking in the sun
Laying in the sand
Waves would be crashing
And my, did you look smashing!
We'd laugh and play
And waste the day away
When night falls
We'll cuddle in close
With a fire that calls
Inviting marshmallows to roast
And in my dream
I could already feel
Our love was strong
Our love was real

Depression called
She said that you had cheated her
She thought that you were weak
She knew she could have defeated you
But you were too strong
You stood your ground
And now that you're better
A new lifestyle has been found

I've never been sure of love 
Simply because I've never felt it 
I would say "I love you"
But never really meant it 
I've never never felt the warmth 
Of a true first kiss
Or had the aching feeling 
Of somebody I miss
I've never known the depth
How love really went
Or believing that someone 
Could possibly be heaven sent 
I've never felt a shiver through my spine
Or the feeling of not enough time
You could say
I've been deprived
Of love's lies

Do you still think of me
The way I think of you
Do you smile
When you hear my name
Do your eyes shine
The way mine still do
Do you remember us
The way we were
Do you come across my name
In your phone
And want to call me
Do you still laugh
At the jokes we shared
Do you still love me
As much as I love you
Do you?

Dancing
in the golden
rays
of the
s
l
o
w
l
y
setting sun

If a storm could be a lover
She’d whistle through the night
Howl and roar with anger
Knock you straight down
She’d stop you in your tracks
Scared for your life
She’s a wild one
That can’t be tamed
Wipe out your happiness
Replace it with gloomy days
If a storm could be a lover
She’d ruin you right there and then

I can see you smiling through the pain
You've been through storms of hurt and rain
Your heart is big, but your eyes weak
But you still act strong, oh so sweet
Although you say you're quite alright
Saying that phrase takes all your might
Such a weak soul, you think to yourself
And begin doing things not good for your health
You'll walk out of bathrooms with nosebleeds
Hiding your face so no one sees
No one knows anything
Just the way you want it to be
Years after rehab, you begin again
But to stop, all you needed was a friend
Someone who cared about you so
And take care of you in times of woe
A friend who loved you endlessly
And to make sure you fell sound asleep
A friend at heart is all you need
To cope with this world full of greed

How easily she spoke
Of a healthy life
Of love
Of happiness
How often she spoke
Of hope
And courage
Little do you know
She cuts
She cries
Little do you know
She's broken
And wants to die

If my id could talk
It would go to you first
Would grab you by your shoulders
And look into your eyes
Spill out everything I've thought
And it would tell no lies
It would tell you things
Even I didn't know
Like how you really do like me
And it would ask you why your feelings don't show
My id would get angry
All it wants is you
To love me for me
Because I told it to
I told it I love you
But you don't love me back
My id got angry
And something in me cracked
After all this time
My id has known
It has learned my inner self
Where hurt is shown

I met you
You, oh perfect you
On such an imperfect day
With imperfect classes
Rushing in the halls
Too busy for anything
But it was decided
We had to meet
Fate made time for us
Fall time
After class under the trees
We met
But back then
We didn't know
We'd later be
In love so deep

I keep revising a letter
I know I'll never send

I don't miss you yet
But I do miss myself

It was the beginning and the end
That are said to have mattered more
The middles meant too much
To try and reminisce
They held too much compassion
Was too nostalgic
Held too many saudade memories
The middle hurt too much
We try to make it matter less
When in reality
The middle matters the most

Summer fades
And crushes don't last
I wanted you to love me
Is that so much to ask?
I miss you
Your voice, your touch
You haven't said "I love you"
Or talked to me much
I'm wondering what to do
I'll do anything to stay with you
But here I am
Open for your care
I hope you save me
Before it becomes too much to bear