this time last year,
we went to rhema and you kissed me under the gazebo
and asked if i wanted to get back together

now i'm sitting in my room
wondering if you remember
the night i met your dad for the first time
and your sister told me i was adorable
wondering if you remember
holding my heart in your hands
and throwing it on the ground
telling me
*maybe this isn't working out

i'm sorry for the days when
you will feel as if
you are dating me and my therapist
because i know
you never asked for this

he likes neck kisses and being called "sweetheart."
he drinks milk when he eats peanut butter,
offer to pour it for him.
he loves pugs and his dog, ******.
if you're not best friends with ****** by the first month,
you're doing something wrong.
when he tells you you're beautiful,
it is easier to just agree.
when he takes you home,
allow plenty of time to say goodnight (he takes forever).
he hates crunchy peanut butter.  
he'll give you his jackets and hug you until you stop crying.
if you watch lord of the rings with him, bring kleenex.
know and understand star wars references or you're *******.
he is an incredible writer.
he'll buy you lots of things for christmas,
do not try to compensate.

if he isn't the best boyfriend you've ever had,
you're not giving him enough credit.
love him, he deserves it.

and i kinda hope you never exist,
because i'm not done loving him yet
and i don't think i ever will be.

i was told i could be anything,
so i chose to be a feminist
because
when i suggested my father help with the laundry,
my mother told me i was crazy.
because
meghan tranior's "all about that bass"
is telling bigger girls to be comfortable in their own skin
because skinny girls already do, right?
because
i'd like to make as much as my male coworkers.
because
i was laughed at for wanting to be a doctor instead of a housewife.
because
people look at me strange when i say i don't want kids.
because
when i gave a speech about feminism in my english class,
i was called a man-hater.
because
"my shoulders distract the boy's education".
because
my mom shouldn't have to worry
about what goes in my drink at concerts.

i will be a feminist until
i can tell my boyfriend
"no babe, i'd rather watch the movie"
and i am not told
"you're depriving him of his needs".
until
my body is my body.
until
i no longer have to carry pepper spray on a keychain.
until
women in foreign countries can vote and drive.
until
woman means human.
until
we understand **** culture
and feminism isn't just about women,
it's about humans.

Materialistic egotistical narcissistic *****.
All you do is talk big
but you are just small.
you try to impress others
but just hurt them in the process.

Just shut your mouth
don't say another word
you say you want to help
you claim that what you say does good.

All you do is ruin friendships,
spoil relationships.
Say the wrong things,
Then regret it later.

You try to change,
you tell yourself you will.
But you do the same thing
over and over. hurt people then hurt yourself.

just shut up.
never talk again.
just...
be quiet.

Scar my body,
Scar my soul,
but you'll never hurt me.

If only you knew,
How much I cared.
Undying affection.