If there's one thing I learned this year it would be that even though my family is dysfunctional and I question their actions sometimes I wouldn't grow without them. Each and every one of them continue teaching me to be a better person, to be more caring and more selfless.
They are the reason why I laughed so much in 2013.
If you want me to listen, I will listen but don't think I won't say how I feel, because I will, and I won't be sorry. I'm only trying to help, and if you're used to sugarcoat answers then be my guest at living a life full of avoiding truths instead of accepting them.
A month ago we started to distant, and around that time, the picture of us fell down. I never really thought much of it, but as days passed by it kept falling, whereas the other pictures stayed . As our friendship just kept getting more distant it fell for the last time, and I decided to put it away in my memory box, because you're just a memory now, And I'm not trying to keep our friendship going anymore.
Not getting attached is all part of an act, it's hard to keep up, and kind of scary to think that one day it won't be an act anymore, it'll just be my mind thinking that this is how I'm supposed to be.
I care and love people more than they deserve and more than they realize. But I won't stop because it's not in my nature and I can't tell whether that's a good or bad thing.
I still remember parts of you that nobody knows anymore They were what made you, you. And that's the sad thing about growing is that people change, good or bad.
Just stop talking. I don't understand. Your words are just mumbling in my head. Nothing makes sense right now. Leave me alone. Nothing you say will help just give me space.
Being content is the such a relieving feeling because I'm no longer unhappy, but actually okay with how things are. And I don't feel stuck, I feel free.
She was daydreaming again, and that was the most dangerous thing she could do, but she couldn’t help but be happy for a minute or a two, she was desperate, desperate to leave this so called life of hers.
She daydreamed about the noise in her house full of her parents laughter instead of angry voices, or silence because they had nothing to say instead of silence with tension.
She daydreamed about her sister living past June because the doctors say she will die soon.
She daydreamed that her brother would stop drinking every night to numb the the pain away because alcohol doesn’t drain it away, it stays and drowns you until you can’t breathe.
She daydreamed that she could leave this so called life of hers.
One by one death is putting people to "peace" and those close, in pain. Although I'm usually not close to some one who passes away, I'm always in disbelief and confused. I fear that someone close will soon pass, and I will lose control. and there's a certain time in everyone's life where they're expected to except death, but why should I? death gives me nothing but thought that will never be solved.
Barely anyone is happy anymore. It's like smiles and laughters don't exist, they have become extinct. And this loneliness and unhappiness is overpopulating.
They say that the eyes show through the soul but when I look into yours there’s nothing, just an emotionless human being.
As if someone took your soul and masked it with a black curtain so no one can see through you.
Maybe that’s a good thing, because if some people knew what was behind it, they would be frightened by the truth and their ignorance which is… you’re not perfect.
I want to hug her and protect her but the truth is the world is an evil place and even the people we hold close to our hearts will hurt us and make us weak.
That word "fat" she gets called everyday will destroy her mentally and all I can do is tell her it's not true and hope that she's trusts me.
I've been in those shoes, I still am and for a **** 8 year old to be going through this is so disturbing to me.
She acted like she didn't care when I brought it up, but once I showed her i genuinely care, she opened up. No one should be called names on their body, no one. Yet everyone does it.
Eyes are my weakness so when you tell me you're sorry and that you love me do me a favor and don't force me to look up into them because I will fall for you again, causing me to have a broken heart who still think there's truth in your apology.
When glass falls it makes this sharp yet beautiful sound But then look at the ground and it's all shattered and broken, no longer whole. No longer useful.
Hush they say. Dang, why are you so harsh they ask? Why are you so blunt? How come you don’t have a filter?
Why do I speak up? I’ve lived with sugar coats Been around “white lies” Seen a lot of miscommunication.
I was ******* tired of it.
The truth hurts but it doesn’t hurt as much as figuring out why you weren’t important enough for the truth. The truth hurts but sometimes its what people need to hear.
And here we go again crossing paths. We leave and somehow always meet again. I believe that there's some kind of message, but you can't seem to read it.
When I was younger and I got hurt, a kiss from my parents would make the pain go away. Now when I get hurt, nothing can fix the aches and pains in my heart. No kiss can repair the damage because emotional pain is far worse than physical pain. No kiss can repair the damage because his kiss was the one that made me fall and break to pieces.
I think once we grow up we start to hate how are family is. We love certain people in it but family as a whole is so dysfunctional. So broken so empty. Instead of wanting to go home we want to run away.
When he was first born his parents looked at him like the most precious human being, because he was in their eyes.
When he was five he didn’t like to play with cars instead he liked fashion. His parents just thought it was because he had sisters so, they just brushed it off.
When he was ten he had a friend his name was Tom. His parents were relieved he made a friend since he was alone most of the time and didn’t like to associate with other people.
Now, standing at the age of seventeen he told his parent he liked men and was dating Tom. He was hoping they would be happy for them; instead they looked at him no longer precious but disgusted.
They blamed him, and asked how he could do this to their family.
How?
How could a parent blame their child for something they can’t control?
Sometimes communication can be such a hard thing to do. How do you explain "I'm sorry, I pushed you away, come back" How do you explain that I love you but I can't bring myself to say it because I'm terrified. How do you explain something that you regret but meant at that exact moment.
Once again I'm in this state of mind that just hates the way I look. I just want to yell at myself for looking like this and then for acting stupid, I shouldn't be hating myself. But I do. And I can't stop.
I see things realistically, and if you don't like that, I'm not sorry that you're living in a dream full of lies.
I say things the way they should be said, And if you don't like that, I'm not sorry that I'm the only person who doesn't sugar coat and tell things the way you want to hear them.
This is me, and if you don't like it, leave. Simple as that.
Millions of things she wanted to say. Millions of things going through her head.
I love you.
I hate you.
Both were true, love was more of what she felt but she blurted “I hate you.” because she would rather seem strong than vulnerable and that was terrifying because she pushed people away just so people couldn’t see the side she was too stubborn to show but people longed to see.
Throughout high school I have had a 3.0 GPA average and I thought that was the greatest I could do.
I was wrong. Junior year, "the hardest year." I agree. But here I am proudly saying I got a 3.7. I worked my *** off to get to this point. I almost just want to cry. I always thought I'd be a failure.
When people ask how I am I usually reply truthfully. But lately I realized I blurt that I am good, I’m doing fine when honestly I’m not doing okay. I’m constantly so angry, so doubtful, so impatient. I just want to scream. Yell Punch It makes me mad that I’m lying to myself telling people I’m “good” because I’m not.
You know you're at a point of insanity when you're so overwhelmed you start laughing like a madman. When nothing's funny but you still keep laughing. You're going insane, and there's no way to stop it.
"I promise" is something I never say because it is nothing That I am sure of. Circumstances change, things change, Feelings change. These things I have no control over, so if you ever ask me to promise you something, I'm sorry but I can't.