Your goodbyes are
as empty
as your
soul.

There is always going
to be a place for you
no matter how many times
I say I hate you.

I know you won't stay
for long, but  I still let you in.
Maybe I still care,
or maybe I just won't learn.

No, I'm not scared
of monsters under my bed,
I'm scared of monsters
inside my head.

The monsters keep reminding
me of mistakes I've done
and people who have hurt me
in the past
making me cringe as I cuff
my hands on my ears, but still
they make no difference, the voices
just get louder and louder.

I scream begging them to
to be silent but they just
do a quick hush and whisper
even more cruel things
and this is where
I wish I was a child again
because when I screamed
everything became silent
and there weren't really
any monsters.

If there's one thing
I learned this year it would be
that even though my family is
dysfunctional and  I question
their actions sometimes
I wouldn't grow without them.
Each and every one of them continue
teaching me to be a better person,
to be more caring and more selfless.

They are the reason why I laughed so
much in 2013.