we made eye contact. you reminded me of a home i’ve never been to.

love me during the days that i’m scared of my own body
and when i try to disappear

.  I’m sorry, I’m the way that I am I let people walk all on me because I’m selfish and love  affection and love humans.   I'm sick, of people figuring out how easy it is to walk all over me, and become ruthless and I start to not even care if they're using me, because what is my worth in this world?  Nothing at all, I'm 1 in a trillion and a few broken hearts is nothing compared to crippling pain of living each day.

don't put your trust in me,
you'll see me with a new boy
talking about how he makes me hole
but it's just something to get me by
because without a doubt, I don't
really need anyone, I just like being in
control

I would rather be alone in my room with my thoughts
Than anything else
The rain will fall, the leaves will turn
and I'll still be gone.
You maintain your hope,
and you'll move on
and I'll move on



(I don't even care)

kids talking and screaming,
the wind and birds chirping.
A stranger
one excuse to fight your fear
make yourself better
holding on won't help you
in the end

“I think I'm getting better”
and before I could come up with a response,
with reassurance you said, you were still an belligerent ***-hole
It felt good you haven't changed.   I genuinely wanted to be offended, wanted to be angry at you  Instead, It just reminded me how much I've changed.  Almost, relaxing.

sometimes when I cant sleep I come up with an illogical hypothesis for everything, giving it a reason and understanding in my head. There is no big meaning, you and I are two different people. complete opposites, constantly pulling into different directions.  

I  can’t sit here and make pretend I haven’t face it yet, the uncomfortable realization,  the reassurance was more of a heavy weight
lifted off of  my  shoulders.