and wins, uncounted,
fall
crystallineated

egos flaking from the broken, crusted snow

i have lost my founded plenum's fill--
in chainsaw bite and vibrate
powerlining chill of poemed demise

love's warrior-chiming focus pill--
the rhyming will,
the will to unrhyme real aesthetic abject thrill--
alliteration's dulling pull
beneath all competition's rising low.

thin lines
tie us freely
to juxtapose a concrete lie

compassion, goodness
found in everyone we know--
and don't know.

i will succeed.
biding time, meaning can come later

the forest is burning
with memories of other less important species

imposing dogma, please stop looking at my throat;
i need you though
deep inside
----------------------------------------------------------­--------------------------------
i will fail.
allow this meaning to escape for now

the forest is dark
the memory of how i came, dim

yield up truth for later ages, words;
i have no need for you
otherwise than out

many dimensions
are loved --
words in a world wind







~

taking shots
in the forest -- reeling
from the impact

lack of education -- void of understanding
non-empathy meets profusion of imagery:
*** swallowed by power and violence.
"the victim is wrong, the victim needs to change."
--------------------
child psychology, family and school lessons, coercive screenings inoculating submission
one religion, only
in a rife flora of symbol-shifting goodness willing
prune the rest,
deny the human family
dialogue, beauty shared through ancient lines-- bombed
nothing in the shards of modern hatred born reborn uncounted

moon ripples
cast away the journey's edge--
neon kiss-patterns

what better symbol of perfection than a remembrance of correction

windows shutting down . . .
impatient feet pique
cat on summer screens

sharing milk,
  fellow inpatients
    drink in sun

i am not a man
--conventionally, one considers me as one;
for many purposes
i am a man--
at long last as a 'compliment'
; as a stoic ideal
; or as pejorative
; as body.
but i am not conventional:
i am not a man

tired of haiku,
i go ahead and rhyme for you
a few extra syllables, too

heinous image . . .
permanent source of tears--
just watching leaves dry

in a bedsheet
they carried me screaming--
brute force 911

traffic jam--
Bob Marley lets us
say hello

"river willow"
well versed in play
cuts roots to same water






.

painful urge to write
spifflicates want of reading --
words rephrasing world

waking up groggy--
   no idea why i'm
       in a nightgown

in winter haste
          shorts fall to dusty floor --
   sunny goosebumps

clouds, context, land
solitary otherness
and firm turning deep.

!@#$%^&()?"}|[_+~!!@#$%^&()?"}|[+~!
!@#$%^&*()?"}|[+~!!@#$%^&()?"}|[_+~!
!@#$%^&()?"}|[+~!!@#$%^&*()?"}|[+~!
!@#$%^&()?"}|[_+~!!@#$%^&()?"}|[+~!
!@#$%^&*()?"}|[+~!!@#$%^&()?"}|[_+~!
!@#$%^&()?"}|[+~!!@#$%^&*()?"}|[+~!
!@#$%^&()?"}|[_+~!!@#$%^&()?"}|[_+~!

my self-hood couldn't be...
my self-hood always has...
your self-hood also shining in the same reflected flickering of light.
what light i think i am is cauldroned in a background shade...
a primest shade of gasmic cosmos bursting forth
the light a simple consequence of hither-sided space
and freedom-ceilings in between.

inside siding outward warding off the sides i cannot center in
--outside siding inward warding off the sides i live within--
twining two in where i stay,
while choosing neutral non-act act,
on moving trains i shade as other than i am
complacent as the cog
that clicks the same in hatred-climes
as when it clips the love-me-nots of Spring

pinhead afterlife--
i fit here warming souls
with frozen belief

bark rubs
on skin in quiet wood--
mind grown still

empty theatre--
an audience of one
cries for music

the first apple's form
toward sweetness fallen quickly--
evolution's path

i gave him my last
five bucks, for tales of war, his
preference for stars

meaning stings yellow
the pain of black iridesce
and beyond beyond

threadhung
worded in our double-weighted net:
relationship
the stung looking said
the sweet hearing seen
1000 metaphors to trivialize the living web
unsensed
numbed and scentless dinner

but tasting unHomeric baths of guests
unknown
unwanted, to be known

i'm not entirely certain this is what i'm writing about

dog day--
can't write,
cat took my pen

new flush of life
    it's been so long
now, i die

wishing all happiness

my kindness has now been commodified
whereas before it triggered hate
--seen as weakness, as cruelty's plaything--
still, i saturate to what extent i can
my daily happy-dance with honest friendship,
compassion's ease, delight and pet-store equipoise.
yet my sincerity is sloganed, emptied of its worth:
trained to say 'rewards program' in stead of 'membership, account';
'guests' in stead of 'customers'
'team-players' in stead of 'employees'
'long-term relationships' as first and foremost mission statement's goal--
slither-scripted to promote a highest bottom line
as language euphemizes baby mice as 'pinkies,
fuzzies, hoppers': 'feeders' for a petted multitude
of scaly, fang-ed maws.

pre-thanksgiving christmas-trees
on either side of automatic double-doors--
styro-snowflakes hung
by wrapping-papered end-cap shelves on sale
to swipe our plastics to a higher debt--
to tinsel out the shame of maybe giving less?
reminding 'gift-time soon' and 'this could be a gift'
to ward off never having given childhood its due?
or of being less than cheerful
at incessant jingled tunes?

november fifth--decorations up;
guy fawkes night of trick-or-treater-candies
tweeting hallowed flu-shots
as my manager in elf-cap-antlers squeals in glee:
says she starts promoting christmas back in august.
i tell her that's appropriate!
given jesus was perhaps born in august.
says she didn't memorize the bible.
i tell her that part was left out anyway--
i don't mention the holiday's titular meaning;
or the waiting gnostic manger,
royal transhistoric camels,
mary on her donkey, joseph's wind-blown face
las posadas... the loneliness of exile
O mary... in her starlit tears of unknown pain and joy--
the unremitting love for barnfloor bodyheat,
todos santos
nonhominin humanity...
earthling rights day
a stranger's kindnesses
of yule-tide warmth and evergreen,
solstice-fulcrum festivals of lights
veteran's day's existential loss
and bureaucratic selfhoods shelved;
gurpurb at a gurdwara
the martyrdom of guru tegh bahadur
the garifuna settlement day
the tazaungdaing festival
fasting over christian as well as buddhist lent
the five days of deepawali, diwali:
bodhi day
découverte d'haïti and vertières
jamhuri day
chalica
zamenhof day
sadeh
pancha ganapati
malkh
soyal
mithras day
osiris, adonis and dionysus day (all dec. 25th)
humanlight
--republic day! national day! and proclamation day!
in the maldives, brazil, northern cyprus, chad, yugoslavia;
in the central african republic, burkina faso, kenya, malta, kazakhstan, niger, south sudan...
chahrshanbeh soori
modraniht
the dongzhì festival
the saturnalia of pagans (lit. "country dwellers"; "those of the heath")
dies natalis solis invicti
newtonmas
kwanzaa
watch night
hanukkah
boxing day
malanka
the day of goodwill
wren's day
quaid-e-azam's day
yeni il
guru govind singh jayanti
international solidarity day of azerbaijanis
fête du vodoun
hogmanay
Iemanjá
darwin day
milad-un-nabi
lohri
pesach
chocolate-egg-laying fertile-bunny-day-- or ishtar day
butter week, crepe week, or cheesefare week-- or maslenitsa

Ramayana lines
fire arrows at my soul >
                                        palm leaves fall in milk















.

flowers wilting
over days, seasons ---
.                                a bear leaps past
.
.
.
.
*the barn porch
with its many snow shovels~
cat's paws in the snow

sundogs past the vale --
late Spring's changing wind atop
the same, sturdy tent


bald mountain rains--
the worms retreat
with every step



'

sunset river-bat~
i stand deaf on the loud shore,
with star and crescent moon


'

Spring-summer fronts ~
tornado siren, trains;
owls on the edge


the French Broad's roar
doesn't drown the bass across--
campsites decay

pristine pristineness~
comparing filth with (to less) filth,
unnatural taste

'
individual--
tree, then mycelial port,
ants, woodpecker feast.
earth, life, openness;
a walking-staff's thud.

~


water's tone
over three leaves~
a steady stream



~

mountain spring of Spring--
a higher note is struck
in flowing free

shady water source--
salamander audience
of fullness' ease

mountain nooks in bloom--
univied cradles pause,
contact deeper breath

~

almost summer--
a level ridge
stretches our backs

~
growls in the Spring dark--
a large rodent returns home
to unwelcome guests.



Spring lushness--
mountain sunrays glide north
as we climb




woodpecker echoes ~
the empty forest vibrates
my growing hunger


~

.
comprehending it for the first time, struck
numb and wretched. uncomprehending
shivers rib joy with age--
agendas churn
even as a salty dryness barely clears--
eyes contort in livid forms of love

vacant carols fail to mute calamity,
though once a bluebird sang at snow
abstracted from the core-- fly away
from a season's playlist monoculture,
reinvent this home, audacious now
to be a courage happiness
for youthful eyes no longer simply young

my new guide asks,
where(fore)'s the water?
they point, she points














.

barkless willow,
bedding a dry stream--
fox graves curled


















.

today i die and far away winds may blow, lifting kites children hold while running.

On the sand.













.

Red bark, weeping--
Fox prints in mist bridge
a Spring stream.
Is the Turtle's snap a game?
Is the Turtle's snap a game?

‐---------------------

"river willow"
well versed in play
cuts roots to same water

~

river willow
roots cut through ice,
ancient water sounds

~

"play verse" river
branches cut the wind
on willow roots

~

angeloi sing--
drowning out our dialogue
sounds heard elsewhere

what i feel
is that you are asking how far i want to take this relationship
the passion, the human.
the essetial attempt at truth.
i can't be honest without fear.
but here it is
.
an ultimate extent.
i am willing.
     i am human, too