His desires were that of white waters
Young and naive you
You use to try and cross
For Love was on the other side
Just to get lost in the chaos
Of a raging river
A little older and a little wiser
You said “No thanks, I’m not a fan of drowning.”
And took the bridge

Stricken with black and white
For these brittle bones
Refuse to bend with all the ways
I live my life
With Death’s advance gambling away with my addictive tendencies
And these golden eyes shine bright
With silver hopes
Laced with tidbits of salt
Grounded in constellation smiles
Treading ever so playfully on my heart
Liplocked straight razors
Slicing through my every dream
Locked away in some far off
Hillsong forest
Benevolent to yours truly
With a guitar, bottle of whiskey
And a bullet.

Drowning in sin
Watch me burn
Doused in holy highs
Nothing left but bones
Don’t look in her eyes you’ll turn to stone
I wanna go, I wanna leave
This world might just not be for me
Hell is where we might find some peace
Don’t forget to breathe
When your minds at ease
When we’re chasing highway lines
In the moonlit hours
Certain things go bump in the night

She had a tendency
To douse me in kerosene
And light me on fire
With a flicker of her eyes
And a match strike smile

It's by acts and not ideas
That our hearts seem to live
And the stars are aligned
But they don't align for us

Such fragile moments we share
It's as if they were everything
Hearts so pure in this broken place
And all we are, are long lost lovers
Searching for our own saving grace

So, stay the night I promise that I won't bite
There's a lack of faith in myself
And it's becoming my own personal hell
Something calling and feeding on my loneliness
Behind this emotion lies hidden is a sensible heart burning oh so bright

I just got back and had my beats on
Jogging up the stairs
So, steep for an apartment complex
You were coming down
Crossing paths
Locking eyes
With the lyrics screaming in my ears

“I don’t want no temporary
Give me all or nothin
Imma keep it real with you
And give you all my lovin
Girl to tell the truth
It’s been a year and I’m still crushin
Girl let’s take a ride and keep it quiet
No discussin, we can take it slow
Nowhere to go no need to rush it
And if you need me I’ll be around to keep you buzzin”

I find it weird that I sleep
On the left side of the bed
Knowing that no one is on the right
Like open space, empty and heavenly

To be the one she chooses so naturally
Letting her down I won't be
To all my friends, I hope you find your way
On some lonely summer night I hope to see you again
But I have to go she's calling out my name

I said it before and I'll scream it out now
She's a simple beauty and it gets me
I couldn't stop smiling like the whole way home
A thief in the night came attempting to steal the feeling that she's been giving

Deep into the night these flames
I've been looking back at the things you senselessly taught me
There's beauty we can't always keep
Learning there's some demons in stories
Whenever she calls, she'll be calling me
The moon hasn't been chasing us lately
Sometimes our love is just so child like

And tonight I just couldn't stop smiling like the whole way home, with the smell of the rain and the sun setting like it was gold, how can I tell her that we'll shine in the street lights quintessence glow as she sees me coming home, she was a simple beauty and to all my friends I know you'll find your way, but tonight she's callin' out my name and so I on my way I'm sprinting home

The city screams
And my echoes dream
I long for hope, it’s all I see
The morning brings such a longful dawn
All that we see is not a fairytale
Except all this could be
Is a miracle for us
In a flush of panic
We all forget the reasons we feel so blessed
Holding smiles in memories
Now is my time to carry you
She’s fallin’ over
So, I’ll carry you home

She’s pulled to the black silver ocean
Where the currents
Clash and collide with the heavens
I seem to be caught in a swell
She is the lighthouse the sea mark
And I’m led by the currents away
I’m the navigator who never could lead
Aboard the mighty ship
One who could never sink
And you’re my only thought
If I go down the fear of the water’s amnesia
So, my memory is gripping
As the waves seem to be ripping
And your voice is an echo
Of things I don’t know
Some of stories I’ve been told
A light house, a voyage
Would someone please take notice

Blue eyes and a smile to die for
You make it so hard to say no
In a dark room in cold sheets
I lost myself in your face, your medicine is in my head
oh, the habits of my heart
It's ripping me apart
You get so close
It's so hard to let you go
She told him "You're confident, I'll give you that, but if you love yourself you can **** yourself."
At times I think I'd rather be alone, but then I see your name pop up on my phone
I tell myself I like that
When I have my hands tied behind my back
It's a game just for us, and you're not the losing kind

And if there is one thing to take away
From all the learnings of our childish ways
It’s that we all have devils inside
Burning low waiting to shine
As other people are distractions
From our own faulty reactions
Yet, we all still hope to learn
To love what’s deep inside

When I was a child
I use to hide away at the library
Surrounded by a plethora of words
I stumbled upon a little black book
With a red leather spine
It told me that monsters didn’t exist
And what will keep me awake at night
Are the things inside my head
Tempered words designed to melt hearts
I know it’s difficult, but crucial
Too be grateful not to miss
The anxiety and emptiness
That we all feel
And someday far away
On an ocean breeze
I’ll accept the love that I’ve always had

She said “Don’t forget you owe me one.”
Ninety-nine cent dreams
Maybe you can show me some
I’m up in the clouds again
If you need someone, call your friends
Clouded by all of this smoke
Seems the fires all we can understand
Your body looks like heaven
Caught up in a breeze
Riding the clouds feeling so free

The coast always called
On Friday nights side by side you and I
Riding on my bike ready to disappear
There’s bout a million places we could go
Except I’d rather be here
And so, let’s chase these highway lines
Turn off the light and let the city lights
Guide us to where we think we’ll find home
Where, I’m feeling powerless
And, you have all the power over me
I just hope we’re bad enough
That the Devil rejects us

It was many moons ago
A long long time from now
You were with me
And
I was with you
Lost somewhere not many people get to
Off just a little by heart
With constellation eyes
In fragile moments
Cracking at the core
Begging for something to say

It wasn’t until I was lost out at sea
Under the cotton candy skies
That I realized how lonely the oceans were
It must be why I like it so much
Relating to the lapping tides
As they push farther inland
Searching for something
They can’t seem to grab

Tonight is the first time
I’ve written in weeks
It’s all sort of fragmented
Disjointed and dislocated segments
Bound and squeezed together in moments
Of sheer chance diluted by pedigrees
Of ever elevating time spans
Spent sleeping or wishing for sleep
Like seeing a pretty face for the first time
Attaching the backstory myself
Sort of like a shock culture moment
Like when you realize not all stars
Are quite like each other
With ocean waves crashing about
Forcefully until nothing, but peace
Resides in the moments we find ourselves

Cracking.

It feels so impossible to let you go
Biochemically addicted to you
I hope he's something special for sure
That the day shines a little brighter when his name pops up in your phone
I'll undoubtedly sit myself down
Dissect everything there is about myself
Till I can find the piece that you saw that said I couldn't be it
I won't get rid of it no, I'll study it and I'll learn from it
I'll try as carefully as I can to piece myself back together afterwards
Maybe editing a few set points here and there
There always seems to be in every scenario that one person has to take a step back for another to go
I suppose I'm just taking a seat for now
Hopefully someday I'll get to where I want to be
Today though? Well, today it sort of feels the worlds crashing all around me

It seems that I'm not the only one
Who's feeling what were all feeling
I find myself catching news
That we all need a little bit of healing
It seems that we're testing the waters of the deep end
Just reach out your hand to mine
For some hearts just need a little bit of solace

In these crazy...times.

And oh, how we search
For humbleness
In such unhumble ways
As if by nature
Designed for want
Never if by necessity

Waking up in my own bed
It’s still been a while
Since I’ve felt like I’ve been home
Am I getting closer to knowing
Where we belong
For now
All I see is lonely people
In crowded rooms

Well, it looks like what the kingdom
Said was true after all
We were doomed from the start
Look at us, we didn’t even come close
He murmured to himself
As he sat slouched on the throne
Arms dangling over the rests
As the glinting finery casts shadows
Down from crown in hand
For there sat a king
But, she was gone and he felt
Peasantly.

My self esteem been in the dirt
I don’t know my worth
I’ve been at my worst
Can’t explain my hurt
So, I write another verse
Seems I can’t shed this curse

I think the reason we fall into cycles
Is because we need one another
Like the sun and the moon
It just seems like we keep missing though
Maybe one day
We might get lucky enough
That we might just eclipse

And just for one time
I want to feel like the dangerous one
While you’re chasing me
Weakened staring at my jawline
As I’m watching the city lights
With you not in mind.

Start to hyperventilate
No, I’m not seein’ straight
Knees begin to wobble
Cut my brakes, and lock the throttle
I couldn’t stop it if I wanted
Shadowy silhouettes
Make break into sweats
I’ve been dazed and confused
Since the day I met you
I’ve maybe lost my head
Yet, I’d do it all again
Perhaps I’m losing my my mind
There’s just something about you
That’s left me dazed and confused
Something about your eyes
Under certain influence
Unable to walk in straight lines
Build me up and leave me here in ruins
Either I’ve seen the light
Or I’m losing my mind
Just dazed and confused

All of this just might be the same
Regardless this is quite the feeling
Of being insane
And when the day arrives
Where all my poems are dead
And I’ve decided to use words
To **** myself instead
Drowned out in black and white
Laced with colors brought about
By your imaginations
Where you can taste
What’s exactly inside my head
Both in hell and maybe even heaven
Where we’ve lost control
Of our not so holy souls

It’s going to be a ****** day
When she realizes
She shouldn’t have to bargain
And make deals
For your love