it’s real and thick, like, jiggly
tingly and tasty— i said baby i’m
not made for much but giggling
and i can make your night
haven’t spoken since i was out on bond
but you’re super cute more than i
envisioned and you’re good at makeup

makes my feelings all kinds of wiggly
days lost in green oblivion
like a prison weight lugged around
do you remember when you were
with me all skinny and brittle *****?

I had wished that he loved me
like he loved violence
He had no problems romanticizing
the trauma of others
But he couldn't romanticize my problems
not at all
Made a mockery of suicide
but would gladly take the lives and loves of others
I'm glad I've learned that there's people
who can love me without making me small
This stupid girl
or parasite, as he would say
She can't do anything about him
There's no controlling what he does
or who he hurts
There's only hoping that the hurt
stays emotional
There's only moving on

Start a phase
call it don’t tell Dave
she shows me the way
and puts on a show

it’s the way she combs
my hair
it’s the way she leaves
her makeup near my boyfriend’s
computer watching them tutorials
on youtube

orange and artificial
bright eyes
how i wish i could
be just like you
hate me for something
just

don’t tell Dave
that my cartharsis comes from
the sparks of her loving hands
it’s the way that i lie awake
lying and the way she moves

Fell in love last friday
with a non-binary star
woke up and brushed my teeth
with sunglasses on thinking
of them

white shots of hail and the windows
jeweled from the rain
a hot week and hot nights
followed by a hot star
and sheets of rains from grey clouds
changing

lose
        yourself
                       in
                          the
                                moment