Victoria Phillips: Poems

Victoria Phillips Nov 2013

Pure achromatic, immaculate egg, sits in a nest.
Shaking and rustling, exploding at its best.
Once hatched it latched to its mother’s wit.
For the hatchling knew that she needed it.

The dove it flourished as a dove should,
And it grew so beautiful as beautiful as she could.
Now with integrity and innocence,
The dove knew to find love, it would finally make sense.

My Dove found love of the falsest facets,
Honeyed words of lust; they lack it.
Flattering gestures that quicken heart beats
Do often allow the dove to glide off her feet.

But Honeyed words don’t often last,
And soon that love became her past,
And now she wanders lonely in the clouds,
But this kind of love attracts only nimbus clouds
Of which to them she was avowed.

Now a dove,
Is indeed a symbol of love,
But love so pure and true,
The kind of love
That is common to a dove
Hunger for it, a yearning sensation within you.
Hunger, Thriving, Craving for this feeling of being complete,
But can’t you see that dependency leads to obsolete.
You will never be you,
You’ll be the both of you.
Is that what you want?
You want, you need to be someone’s gaunt
Old, decrepit partner?

Not I, I am alone,
But not lonely.
I am empty
Yet complete.
I am moist,
Yet dry as a desert.
I am me,
Yet no one at all.

Dear J****

Victoria Phillips Nov 2013

Dear J****

Trigger Warning*

Dear J*
By Victoria Phillips.

You and I destined for eternity,
Someday ending in a family or so you lied to me.
You always said my eyes were the reason the stars shone so bright.
You said I was that gleam of everlasting delight.
You always said I was beautiful, sweet and true,
You always said "how do I deserve you"
You were the one I loved so true.
My heart, life and soul, I gave to you.
Like one thousand daggers to the heart you broke me,
On that awful day, a nightmare, a never ending travesty.
You reached up deep, into my soul so untouched and true.
And as I cried horrifically, I saw the REAL you.
I said NO, STOP, I'm scared… please.. I'm scared…
you Ignored me and TEARED,
Right through until blood drew.
Somehow, I got away from you,
You finished yourself as I cried. You watched me cry.
That was the day, a young girl did die.
BUT, I hope that you rot in hell.
I hope that you sleep in a corpses shell.
I hope that you remember why,
Your first brutal love sentenced you to die.
I hope that when you awake and scream,
That it's my face that haunts your dream.
I hope that you cannot breath,
Because, I hope everyone knows what’s up your sleeve.
I wish in my heart and soul,
That everyone could see what you heartlessly stole.
From me you took everything.
And Now I cry for all that I have regrettably seen.
So here, YOU, who tore me apart,
I hope that, you know You have no heart.
I hope that all see you
For all that you TRULY are the monstrous things you do.
So as you rot in my hypothetical hell,
I do not wish to hear you yell,
Nothing, not even Your pain,
Could ever persuade me to stop the rain.
I know you think it’s my entire fault.
But I am the one who begged you to stop.
I am the one, who cried when you watched,
I am the one who you have contorted into an illicit braid.
Yet, I am not afraid.
You broke a child so disgustingly,
Just a young girl who loved you innocently

Half Of Me

Victoria Phillips Nov 2013

Half Of Me

Half of me
A feeling, old feeling, causing discontent,
A feeling I have, that makes me lament,
Locked is my heart of drying cement.
A feeling that I’m not meant to vent,
Only to repent.

I’m sorry I feel this way,
It means that I can’t stay,
For these feelings I cannot sway,
So I cannot say,
How I feel today.

I want to tell you all you are,
Is a shining golden, falling star,
That burns through my atmosphere,
All I want is for you to be here,
I want to hold you so near.

I want you to see me for more than you do,
I want to kiss you, and be with you.
But I’m just a girl, a friend.
She’s who you’ll love until the end.
I’m nothing, nothing, but a friend.

I want to make you feel passion beyond compare,
I want you to care.
My feelings; I want to share…
But that’s not right,
I’m not meant to hold you tight.

For you’ll never notice me…
So this is the half you’ll see.

For Lenny.

Lost Causes

Victoria Phillips Nov 2013

Lost Causes

Lost Causes

You’re on a path of self-destruction, my friend.
For you see only negation; and from that, the end.
All that circles you are the negative atoms,
So you must be too (two) positive, just fathom.
Therefore negation would avoid the path you see,
It’s simple chemistry.

Just understand that although love is what you seek,
And you feel this is happiness’ key,
You are mistaken, and blind; you cannot see.
You have not grasped life’s meaning, you are weak.
Companionship, dreams, truth and beauty are
the essence that life is supposed to be orientated around.
I’m your companion, and I understand.

I’m not the answer, forget that I ever was.
I am just an excuse, and ideology,
So that you can wallow in self-pity.
And victimize all that you are,
But you fall from the sky like a star,
Beautiful, yet destructive.
All you need to do is Just Live.

November is but a month and this was but a Night

Victoria Phillips Nov 2013

November is but a month and this was but a Night

It is a calm November night.
We are standing under the pale moonlight.
There is a mist setting across the ground,
That seems to encompass us and all that surrounds.
The wind seems to move me, closer and closer to you--
As though romance was enveloped in that mist of blue.

Everything is still. My mood it does subdue.
Staring up at the silver, sumptuous jewels in a contrasting black sky
The moon and stars are all that surround us in this fantasy.
I see something that is more beautiful than a night sky,
More alluring than the stars, more awe-inspiring than the history of the galaxies,
I see you.

You stand beneath the achromatic moonlight that highlights the structure of your face,
That seems to me more detailed than renaissance art.
Your eyes cause more of a stir within my heart than a boulder thrown in a lake.
Everything about you seems more entrancing than hypnotism.

I stand there beside you, taking in everything you say, and everything you are.
Hanging on every word that falls through your lips
Seeing someone as you is as common as catching a fallen star.
-- through my heart your name slips.

And I will not let this moment pass
No. I will not let this moment go,
I will take this, and you
To feel the pleasure of a thousand angels dancing,
Of a million birds harmoniously singing.
The sensation of a thousand seducing kisses.
So as we stand in the pale moonlight,
Can we just hold each other tight.
And drift into the night.

Rainbows

Victoria Phillips Dec 2013

Rainbows

The beauteous creature that you are,
Lurks in the shadows where light once was.
Behind the cabinet, find a door.
It was once locked but not anymore.

Find a doll of porcelain skin,
Find her soon, let the story begin.
Light a candle in the corridor,
For the souls once there but not anymore.

Through the darkness can you feel the fear?
It captivates your entire body, now.
You feel it rip through you; through you it tore.
You were once Whole, but not anymore.

Lights flicker violently as you creep-
Down the narrow hall of emptiness.
It was so vivacious once before,
It was bright, full of hope; but not anymore.

Flickers of light flash like wholesome hope.
Lighting the way down a broken path.
Cracks, craters and breaks split through the floor.
Once an easy path, but not anymore.

When you think you are safe and all is well.
Remember what here, described is hell.
It inhabits every last brain cell.

All of this is Deep inside your Head,
You will only escape, when you are Dead.

Inner conflict of the mind is described above.

Sweet Kiss

Victoria Phillips Nov 2013

Sweet Kiss

Melodic…Mesmerizing…Symphonic words.
Taking me away, whisking me off my toes,
In my mind, my head tilts back, my arms transform to wings,
As clouds form and the angel sings.
The clouds, they move, and twirl me to the sun,
It’s blinding, blazing beauty blissfully moves me,
Not just physically, but emotionally.
I cannot let this be, my words will not be undone.

I cannot allow this vulnerability to consume me.
Tears shall never fall, arms will never wrap around me.
I will never be the weeping lady,
That so much, they threw aside.
Forever, they will try to break the clouds below your feet, to make you feel obsolete.

Clouds of love, clouds of dreams, clouds that make you want to cry,
Clouds blur the vision, clouds will lie…
Clouds shed tears you will never catch,
Clouds will never find their match,
Neither shall I; matches make fire, and fire makes you cry.

Melodic music, is what they speak,
Like sirens, I will crash the wreck that is me,
Wreck inside, I will not be transparent,
But I believe, perhaps blissfully, that I can be, oh so much more,
But I can’t keep closing door after door.

The way that bed of clouds did make me feel,
Drills around my brain in a desperate drumming beat,
I yearn for that feeling, yet fear it all at once.
How can you fight with ones own self?
Yet hope for the best?
Brooding, introvert, but that’s not me,
It’s just what I know I have to be.

Who’s to say that living in a bubble is wrong?
Yes, it will burst, and those inside feel forlorn.
You can find those inside again, all by yourself.

No world-wind weapons of intrigue to entice you to lay down your soul on a table,
I am not weak or feeble!
No one shall lie with me for they lie about me.
And sigh, I will let not it be.

I am happier alone,
Forlorn, lost and oh so sad,
Happy, in my day, however each day may be,
For who knows what tomorrow may bring,
And that’s just the one thing,
A kiss, A feeling, is it worth it all?
Please my dear darling, never ever fall.

The Last Raven

Victoria Phillips Jul 2015

The Last Raven

Desert rocks in desert sand that seem to encompass the land,
Barren empty space of dust, lust in cacti and souls of the lost…
Amorphous figure emerges from the land below-
In ethereal appearance, and celestial glow.
Enraptured is the ordinary soul by inexorable beauty.

It’s hand outstretched and welcoming eyes—
Enchanting me to believe his guise.
Ineffable experience being by his side,
For a moment trapped in time I was alive.

Hand in hand and love in eyes we made a vow to share our lives.
So quick it was and never ceased, to amaze me in a world of tumbling white sheets.
The sea of sheets, on that first night, took me to the world of light,
Skin on skin, eye to eye, lips on lips, three words slips
From mouths who claimed eternal locks, And here were are bodies in knots,
Intertwined in mind, and soul and all, and now we fall.

-deep
-deep
-deep
Into a world of beauteous intention,
Music, light and love had all our attention.
I loved you with the moon and stars, I loved you for all you are.
I was the only thing you need. But bizarre complications and me you heed-
No regard for.

Hands flung, for a lover before,
And my heart fell to the floor,
As you stood aside and let abuse occur,
All of this you did for her?

Now I realise, that the desert was your guise.
You were a mirage, and had no care,
For the Lady who was always there.
Eclectic reasons for leaving you.
Yet, celestial glow, you glow from afar.

I have never felt this pain before, entrails by my feet,
Heart still throbbing in your blood stained hands,
You have no understanding of all this, that you have caused
You have no idea of the kind lady you lost.

I see your soul, the pervasiveness of its beauty.
Ubiquity of love in your soul,
But on my life you’ve taken your toil.
I cannot be but a milk-maid in a Joycean script,
For I am the words that make beauty lift
From the page.
I’m not the bird inside the cage,

Remove yourself from upon my door,
And like the Raven you said nevermore.
Remove your heart from inside my chest,
And you think you can defeat this test.
Remove your pain, from out my life,
I promised you once, but I’ll never be your…

Persistence is key, that’s all you know.
Forget the Raven, and I’ll let you go.

I wrote this poem after having an arguement with my now Fiance. True what they say, the best poetry is written when intense emotion bubbles below the surface.

#by #victoria #phillips #copyrightvictoriaphillips

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