For once in my life I feel at home
When I begin to write
Even if for only a moment,
I can finally see me so clearly
Perhaps my issue is letting go
Of all the trivial doubts and regrets
But when I begin to write
I see my true feelings appear
Instead of worrying about the silly things
I will soon forget

Nothing ever lasts
Thoughts are destined to be lost eventually
But these words from my soul get to stick around
for eternity

I met the strangest girl  
with messy hair and a crooked smile,
a heart that beat too quickly
and legs that ran for miles.
she loved to squeeze up next to me,
run her fingers down my leg
but her eyes looked far beyond
as her mind floated away
today she looked inside of me,
hair falling soft on her cheek
her parted lips began to move
but her soul refused to speak.

“so, I’ve been thinking
of heading off.
joining a brand new band,
singing a fresh new song.
you know I’ve always been happiest
simply drifting along.
I feel so peaceful here,
but I can’t stand anything
for far too long”

I answer,
“even me?”
she stares back blankly, smiles
and looks beyond

I thought I'd never be satisfied with
a love that doesn’t fill me with fear
one that makes me question
everything I thought was real
everything I thought I knew
you convinced me I was no one
without you.
I wanted to hate myself with the most
intimate, lustful passion
like you always did
I never believed that love can be attained
without pain

But I truly want to imagine
That such a man exists
Who doesn't rule the world (and me)
with his iron fists
With feelings genuine and pure,
who gives more than he takes
Lord, if you're out there
Give me one of the good ones
for ****'s sake

Racing through the halls
My vision begins to slip
Slowly fading to black
Until suddenly
I can no longer see

Desperately feeling the walls
My internal voice becomes my guide
A manifestation of reason
Surprisingly calm
For someone who cannot see

As I sink into myself
And I view my fragile state
I simply accept my fate
And realize, perhaps I am most sane
When the world closes in around me
Finally, I can see

As I walk through open fields
My hands graze the grain,
And feel the caress of rain
Comforting me,
whispering:

it’s alright, my dear
our time is overdue
the snow will soon
come
to blanket the world in frost
and when it does
my love
our lives will not be lost
we will always have the chance
to return
once again
so we welcome death
with open arms
and resume our
sacred dance
one day, you too
shall return to soil
and when you do
you’ll ground your roots
and return once more

As I gaze up at the moon
all I can think about
is you

I will never understand
who or what I am
but when you're next to me
I gain some sense of
familiarity
I see your face in the moon
staring back
blankly

My fears have become amplified
They consume me.
Other people worry
about being watched,
about talking too much,
but my biggest fear is
my mere existence.
The idea that my senses
all allude me
I am just as likely to be standing
as I am sitting down
I am just as likely to be here
as I am elsewhere
I am just as likely to be awake
as I am asleep
Nothing that I see or feel
is real
Everything I type and read is
a fabrication
a delusion
an allusion
to it being a fantasy
Perhaps my life
has all been
just a dream

When I'm alone
I keep catching myself
Smiling
Imagining you
next to me

In this world
the only way to survive
is to pretend.

The fruit that lies before me
is neither above nor beneath.
Wasting thought on fruitless worry,
existing for the pursuance of grief.
wasting your love by craving more,
accomplishing nothing but a heart
being torn.