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Jared Eli Nov 2013
And so now I've finally become a cliche
Just feeling ******* lost and alone
Wanting to write angry hurt poetry
But not being able to
Because my muses are dead
And my meter has failed
My wit has run off with the director
Like the ***** that it was
My rhyme cannot find its way back
And in a selfish way it doesn't want to
All the creative bits of my brain
Are flipping me off
I took them for my friends
Possibly the only ones I had
But they are bored with me
All the fun
The motivation
The happiness
Is just leaking out of my head
And I'm trying to keep it in there
I'm trying to jam a pencil in my ear
So that none of this will fall out
So that the me I like will endure
So that the cowardly ****-face
That resides deep within
Will remain buried
I can't go out tomorrow with a smile
I can't lie because I've lost the capacity
My ability to improvise deserted me
I can only occupy space unhappily
I can only drain
I am a leech now
And I will feast
As I lose my mind
27 72 68 32
I keep seeing these numbers and I have fallen into a pit of ultimate sadness
non placet mortus sum, sed hodie ego sunt mortum
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Can't bear the sight of smiles
When I'm like this
Jared Eli Nov 2013
My journey to self-discovery
Began with a walk
Down a hall of mirrors
Let me tell you, every one of them
Shattered
I think they're leaving a message
In the shards
Jared Eli Nov 2013
You put up all these walls between us
And now I know why
It's not because you don't want to let me in
It's not because you're afraid of attachment
Or committing
Or rejection
Or loss
No, you push me away
So ******* far away
Because you want to make sure that you drown

I'll never let go, even if you do
Because I'm the Jack to your Rose
And I swear,
I would rather die drowning
With my last image being you
Half-conscious and hypothermic
Lips blue and eyes delusional
Gorgeous and pulling it off, like only you can
I would rather see you like this
Knowing that my drowning saved you
Than be alive and apart from you
Knowing that you were drowning yourself
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Artemis, if only you knew
How you lift my heart
Jared Eli Nov 2013
One could have a worse idol
However some are not so wise
Toy people, he says
Wound up and ignorant
Walking about and mucking up
The little, little images
The postage-stamp-motion-pictures
Don't they see?
Can't they see?
It must take a genius to walk about blindly
Which is why they all just stumble
But no matter; their staggering footfalls
Hold answers to which he must find questions
And the silly drunkards and incompetents
Ask the wrong questions for boring answers
Drown them all in the kin of Stradivarius
The singing quiets everything in the attic
That he may at last view the final stroke
Who is the poem about?
Jared Eli Nov 2013
Avoid the stares
They all know you should be dead
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