It's not that I'm trying
To be flashy
and show off
that I have a few dollars

It's not that I'm trying
to appear better
than anyone else
by not asking for favors

It's just that I hate
being in debt
to anyone
in any way
and I want people to know
That I don't give a **** about money
You don't owe me
anything
unless I casually remind you
But I generally won't

So stop trying to pay me back
please

I know that they're for me
These cookies and iced tea
You set them on a plate
Gotta say, you're looking great
But I came here just for food
And I hope that isn't rude
All these candles by the door
Can I ask you what they're for?
Oh my goodness dear, please no!
Now I've really got to go
Let me out. Unlock this room!
I don't want to be the groom!

Gotta get out
Of my sock drawer
And into the hats
Cause that's how you get
A head

What do you call people endearingly?
Sugar
Honey
Dumpling
Lemon Meringue Pie
I get hungry thinking of things to call her
Love
Babe
Baby
Darling
Am I being old-fashioned? Do people still speak this way?
My dark angel
Mon cherie
Deliciae meae
Dove
Doll
What to say?

Sometimes I read things that make me tear up
Or see things that make me sad
Or hear bits of conversations
Half-chewed sentences thrown from over-thought
Tragedies
That make me just want to take people into my arms
And hold them close forever
And be their scapegoat
Their Atlas
Their lighthouse
Their pin drop of light in the sky of darkness and despair
And false hope
"Hit me" I want to say
"Take the pain and the hate out on me
I can take it."
I want to say this, even if I can't
I want them to feel love
The love that I feel for them
The love they think does not exist for them
That exists in my heart
"Ask me if I love you" I want to challenge
"Ask me if I care. Don't even think of ending
Don't think of taking your life
Who will I give hugs to then?"
I want to be everywhere at once
Hugging all the hurt people I don't know
Making them feel a little better
Even when the universe takes a **** on their life
I want to be their Batman
Anonymous and protective
I just want them to know; the hurt
And the broken
The sad
And the ones with beauty they can't see
The angry
And those who feel unwanted
I want them to know
That my hugs are free
And I mean every hug I ever give
Even if the recipient doesn't know it
I mean every single one
Virtual hug
Feel better please

Joey Comeau
Writes things I sometimes don't understand
They're like little bones in a tiny
Bat skeleton
I don't know what they mean
Or what they do
Or how they fit in the whole scheme of things
But they make me feel powerful
And that's mostly good

Joey writes sentences that start with
"I want to"
And end with things like
"Break into an old lady's house and tell her I am the FBI"
He writes sentences that make me think
Of all the things I want to do
I want to crash my private helicopter
Into the side of a mountain
But escape just in time
I want to write like Joey
Simple sentences that hold the world in their hands
And crush it a little
Just because

Stephen King
Writes books that sometimes scare me
Right back to the second trimester
Right back to fetal position in the womb
But he tells the stories so well
The actions are so true
I believe them all
And I know I'd never be the hero in a horror story
(I'll be dead in the first twenty minutes of the film)
But I get excited at the prospect of reading
Because it requires less running on my part

Stephen wrote of his drug addiction
And his mom's cancer
And his ****** jobs
And his alcoholism
And his multiple failures before his success
And his loving wife
And it made me think
That even though I'm an itty bitty little person
With but one life to give for this universe
Maybe, just maybe
I can make it
In some scheme of things

Oh candid life
So stark and raw
Beauty plain in sight
The images of a life enjoyed
Pasted in the papier-mache places of the mind
The finger paints
The doodles and scrawls
The graffiti and love letters
Smiles and silly faces
Open your eyes and see what we see
Ridiculous images
Well-enjoyed and unplanned
Emotion plastered and thought riddled
Life
Stark and raw