Valy: Favorites

Dec 2013 Valy

Pink Floyd

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

Sometimes I sit on my bed
Looking at your picture
Your smiling face
Your bright eyes
Oh how wonderful
You made my life

Sometimes I cry & put on Pink Floyd
We used to listen together
About life and struggles
We would talk deeply
We were the only deep ones
That's right, just you and me

Sometimes I wonder where your spirit has gone
Are you soaring in nature?
Are you smiling down from heaven?
That beautiful smile I miss so much
How I wish to see your face
How I wish for one last touch

Sometimes I feel my memories start to fade
But all it takes is a smell
Or a song, maybe an image
And they all rush back to me
At times it can feel so real
Can't believe I lost you completely

Your death is my reminder
To never waste a second
I love you my best friend, my lover
And I'll always long for you
And I'll always cherish all
That we ever went through

Dec 2013 Valy

Less And Less

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

Less And Less

I miss your love
I miss your face
I miss your kisses
I miss our chats
I even miss the way you'd reject me
Because at least then
We were talking
I miss being your friend
I miss being someone you could rely on
I miss making you laugh
I miss making you smile
I miss giving you confidence
I miss making you feel worthy
I miss your texts in the morning
I miss when you'd tell me "I love you"
I miss everything
I miss you
But I don't think we'll ever speak again
So I guess from here on out
I'll have to miss you less and less

Dec 2013 Valy

As It Should Be

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

As It Should Be

I get his texts
I see his face
I feel his arms around me
And in those moments
That's when I know my life
Is exactly as it should be

Short n stupid but I love him a lot.

© Peyton 2013

Dec 2013 Valy

Put Together

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

Put Together

It's my birthday today
I turn 22
I don't feel like I'm very
Put together
I was born in '91
On a Friday, on the 13th
I guess I'm not that lucky
And I might never be
In my short 22 years
I've seen death
I've seen drugs
I've seen poverty & struggle
I've seen depression
In my short 22 years
I've seen prosperity
I've seen happiness
I've seen love
I've seen success
Life is all about the journey
The ride you take
It's all about the ups and the downs
And all the obstacles
My 22 year old self
Will live to be
Smarter, stronger
Better, kinder
I'm determined to not let
This year go to waste
Maybe this time next year
I will feel more
Put together

Dec 2013 Valy

Never Again

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

Never Again

I look back
And I laugh at myself
For being such a fool
You made a mockery of our love
Hardly ever took it seriously
Or me for that matter
I put up with you
For longer than you ever deserved
All that love and passion
Is now slowly and surely
Transforming into a deep hatred
I allowed for so much time
And so many tears
To be wasted on someone
Who is now insignificant
You warned me plenty of times
Of you not being deserving of me
But I gave you the benefit of the doubt
I always saw the good in you
But then all of the deceit
Ruined that image completely
I'm afraid we can't even be friends
Not then, not now, not again

I wrote this on 12/5/13. I had a very weak moment. I keep having weak moments.

© Peyton 2013

Dec 2013 Valy

Fuck You

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

*******

**** people
Who tell you they're in love with you
When they aren't
**** people
Who like to lie to others
Just to make themselves
Feel better
*******
For doing that
To me

this isn't articulate but i'm posting it as more of a release of emotion than anything else.

© Peyton 2013

Dec 2013 Valy

Heart On Fire

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

Heart On Fire

My heart feels on fire
I lay in bed and think of you
Tears slowly roll out of my eyes
One by one
Just like it does right before
A thunder storm is about to take place
My tear droplets analogous with rain drops
My thoughts replacing the sound of thunder
How you reeled me in so perfectly
With the way you'd tell me things
The way you'd lie
I always still wonder why
What was the point of making me weak
So weak I'd do anything for you
Making it impossible for me to give you up
You lifted me up so high
Only to throw me back down
So far down that an indention
Formed in my soul
I loved you so sweetly
So genuinely
Isn't that what you want?
I'll never have you
My heart is truly on fire
Burning for the one
I can't have

Dec 2013 Valy

Every Day

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

Every Day

I understand that what I did was a little unorthodox, to say the least.
But whenever I looked into your eyes and saw all the pain bottled inside
The only thing I would allow myself to do, day in and day out, was try and fill those eyes with happiness
And I did
It's too bad I no longer can
If I had it my way
I'd make you happy
Every day

Dec 2013 Valy

Right Decision

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

Right Decision

You don't even seem to be affected
Or seem to care
That we aren't in each other's life anymore
I guess I made the right decision
When I chose to get out when I did
It hurts to love you
It hurts to want you
But it doesn't hurt as much
As you not giving a ****

Dec 2013 Valy

Moving On

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

Moving On

I may write about you
I may think about you
But it doesn't mean
That I still dream about you
Or that I still want you
I don't even think it means that I love you
These poems
These extra ramblings
Are my way of ridding my spirit of your toxic presence
I'm liberating myself of the constant feeling of rejection
I'm relieving myself of the tremendous feelings of guilt
But most of all
I'm shedding away all of the feelings of unworthiness and ugliness that you caused me to feel
You ripped me in two
These poems get rid of the brokenness
While I attempt to puzzle myself back together
You left me a mess
That's how I know you're not the best
I'm moving on now
And you'll be sorry
Because there will come a time
When you'll really need me