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idk Mar 2020
i think U and me are meant to be
on summers grove
with every baiting breath
we watch together
our fleeting death
and in the future on a summers day
the dew will drift and fade away
and U and me will meet again
beneath the soil and beneath the sand
the earth sings us to sleep
the fatal hum a promise to keep

I think U and me are meant to be-
and if U disagree,
U will not be there to see
for i have shed our blood and buried are we.
( a lovers promise made and kept)
Feb 2020 · 170
me again
idk Feb 2020
oh, my sweet!
tender hearted darling
your soft hands,
your warm smile,
your birdsong laugh
sets my heart aflutter

serenade me,
drape me in your honey sweet voice
let me take up space in your tender gaze
simply being in your presence
is to be surrounded by home
you turn the key
and my heart kicks to life
a rusty thing,
but for you it shines golden
Feb 2020 · 392
hey losers
idk Feb 2020
do not visit my grave and cry, i am not there
i did not die
idk Jan 2020
i know what U did U think i don’t remember what U did but i do i hate U and the way U make me feel you took my childhood away from me it’s not fair i want to be like other people and i want to be normal and i want to be a kid but i can’t U made me grow up i’m not ready it’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair
Jan 2020 · 98
kind of a lost cause lol
idk Jan 2020
i started jump-roping again
twice a day two hundred times each
i do sit-ups at night
400 times each
it hurts so much it takes so long
and it does nothing i check 4 times a day and it does nothing
why did U lie to me
numbers take over my life again
do U remember when i was a child? innocent, sweet, uncaring



yeah, neither do i
Jan 2020 · 187
always
idk Jan 2020
i won’t even let anybody take U away from me i promise
i promise i won’t tell anyone about U
U can be my secret i promise please don’t leave me i need U i have nothing
ed poems home i get banned bye
Sep 2019 · 158
skeletons with wings
idk Sep 2019
the heartbeat of the earth fuels the swell, yet it always shatters against the sand

rain drips behind cracks in the alleyways,
collected by those who water the flowers daily


and when the buds bloom in spring
even the waves are still.

[ to admire their beauty. ]
Sep 2019 · 214
not a poem
idk Sep 2019
i still have a crush on my ex why did i break up with her i’m so ******* stupid oh my god i can’t stop thinking about her it’s in my head every second of the day when i look at wedding pictures on pintrest i think about her i am literally in middle school oh my god

also i’m pretty sure i’m trans bye
Aug 2019 · 261
Untitled
idk Aug 2019
I re-read our texts messages when nobody's around
idk Jul 2019
a long time ago i wrote a poem about living in a house full of closed doors
(i felt like my hands were not my own)

a boy in my english class read it and told me he lives in a house full of shame
there’s a hallway of closets but each one is the same
he said nobody would let him open the doors
but everybody wanted him too

i fell in love with him then
but i cannot love anyone in these decaying bones

i moved on but i know
that there is always something to be won
but i am no good at competition

every step i take away from you
you return stronger
the riptide pulls me in and i drown
nobody can hear me floating in the dark

you wait for me at the bottom of the stairs
the door is closed
my mind is closed
we are closed

i turn and leave,
dropping the keys in the bowl before i go
Jun 2019 · 782
does this count as poetry
idk Jun 2019
i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me i hate me
my thighs still touch i don’t know how anyone could ever think i’m pretty like that and i’m not really good at anythinb else
Jun 2019 · 203
Untitled
idk Jun 2019
i’ll find you there,
in the dark corner of the mind where terror and ecstasy meet-
in a dark, swirling tide
idk Jun 2019
honey

you looked
like honey
sweet
i wanted to eat

-but you were sticky

*insert poorly drawn photo of *******
Jun 2019 · 450
this about death ig
idk Jun 2019
she’s young and fresh like lettuce leaves,
// warm and sweet like summers best peaches

she waits at the door for you, just so she can open it //
when we walk through she skips ahead, spinning in dizzying circles

she smiles and i lose track of time
// i feel the cameraman- she is the art i am watching unfold before me

when we all became, simultaneously,
i wonder if she was too close or too far to the blast //
maybe she’s not supposed to he here

when we all fell from grace there were some beyond us, waiting with widened eyes and dripping teeth for us to fail

she has no vendetta
she takes what is ready
young or old, healthy or sick

maybe she’s lost

/ maybe she’s found, right here /
Jun 2019 · 169
07/09/19
idk Jun 2019
the sunset slides over the park where we sit
the sun washes us out, and i wait for the clouds to dissipate

they don’t

when you died, you walked into a golden sky
i wonder if now the golden sky we see is you

golden, beautiful you
i ask if when i die
i will walk into the golden sky
for all but the storm

there are people around
some watch
some stare
most ignore me
there are lots like me, here

i am not sorry
Jun 2019 · 142
us
idk Jun 2019
us
i put my hand in your sweatshirt pocket
but you drop your hand to the side
it hangs there

there are no mutual feelings between us
the numbness is all we have in common

i can see my breath in the icy air
we are all alone

we do not talk
it isn’t awkward
i can finally breathe
idk Jun 2019
i’m dating a girl and i hate myself i’m corrupting her it’s not natural for girls to think about each other like that i’m ruining her life like U did for me it’s not normal and i love her so much but i don’t its my corrupt impulses why did god make me this way why couldn’t i be normal

i’m not gay just struggling
Jun 2019 · 112
beautiful things
idk Jun 2019
she’s so lovley she’s so pretty she has rlly nice brown eyes and when i hug her i always stand in the sun so i can see how yellow they turn it’s my favorite color
Jun 2019 · 149
wherever U are i miss U
idk Jun 2019
she reins supreme-
reinforced by clear lip gloss and misery (she disappoints me)
but i want her anyway
she moved to migchigan
Jun 2019 · 106
Untitled
idk Jun 2019
people are puzzles
(and i solve them)
Jun 2019 · 215
The Ladybug
idk Jun 2019
short little story I wrote, and it was published in Inkitt!!!!**

I’ve always played the piano, ever since I was a little girl. I started taking lessons from my neighbor when I was seven years old, and on my tenth birthday my family moved- in the living room was a lovely wooden grand piano. My favorite songs to play are soundtracks to plays and old movies. I imagine myself in the starring role, with bleach blonde hair and bold red lipstick. If I close my eyes, I imagine myself playing my piano and singing to the audience. I’m lousy at singing, Mommy says it’s my age. My voice gets weak when I try to sing very high, and I’m not much good at singing low. But I picture it anyway.
When I do math homework, as I am doing right now, the numbers turn to music notes and the symbols to dynamics, and I get caught up in the fantasy- I pretend my pencil is a baton and I am conducting an orchestra, the audience applauding me after we finish and take a bow.
“Dottie.” Mommy stands in the kitchen, looking at me. I look down at my math homework, and I have not written anything down. My pencil was too busy leading my imaginary symphony. She turns back to the onions she was slicing, satisfied that I’ve come back down to earth. I could never imagine having a life like hers. Mommy doesn’t work, she stays at our house while my brother and I are at school. She does all the cooking, the cleaning, the darning, the ironing, the consoling, and every other thing I could think of. I have too many dreams of music and movies to stay in one place like that and dedicate my life to my family. If I even have one- the idea of having kids makes me feel icky. But Mommy seems so happy. She is smiling right now, humming along to “Dancing Queen” as it plays on the radio behind her. She has a college degree, in business. I’ve seen the paper in the frame in her bedroom. In has her name on it in big curly letters.
I look down at my math homework again, but a bright red ladybug is crawling across the page. It is cherry red with little black spots. I often wonder if bugs remember their home, or get homesick. They travel so far and explore so many different homes, it must be impossible to find their way back. Or maybe bugs are just bugs. Mommy says I am “over-analytical.” I think ladybugs are the friendliest insect (if anybody’s counting.) It crawls over my fingers and into the palm of my hand, unshielding its delicate little wings and flying into the air and onto the windowsill. It crawls back through the open pane, and out of my little world. How I would love to be a ladybug.
May 2019 · 282
:(
idk May 2019
:(
i don’t love you and it hurts
i love you and it hurts anyway
May 2019 · 109
dividend
idk May 2019
bathing in the sunshine,
it pours down on me in a cascade //
lovely summer days end with drifting off into the horizon //
where the moon hangs limp like the leaves on the trees //
and i promise you that when you walk into the storm //
there will be a golden sky
Apr 2019 · 120
of mice who are men
idk Apr 2019
i.
my tounge got stuck to the pole when i licked it,
just like momma said it would.
and when i played with those matches
my fingers had to be bandaged, they were so red and burned.

ii.
this could be a poem about the savagery of nature, the pain and the love the wind and the fire that is inherent on earth.

iii.
instead it’s a poem about people, because they always touch things they shouldn’t.

iv.
i touched the flames, and the man touched the girl when she hadn’t wanted him too. all i ever think about when i hear that story is that i wish she had something toxic in her veins, some poison to melt him to nothing.

v.
god should have made girls deadly if he was going to make monsters out of men.
Apr 2019 · 102
Untitled
idk Apr 2019
I thought about kissing you today, and yesterday and the day before that. I know I'll think about kissing you tomorrow and the day after that, and the days after those days.
Mar 2019 · 209
Untitled
idk Mar 2019
you never come to anything i do or say you're proud of me or say you love me you work all the time and the only time i ever see you is when you're smoking next to my bed cos you still make me sleep in your ******* room i hate you and i hate the way my lungs burn and I'm too old to be disclipned like that anymore its humiliating I'm not a kid anymore i hate you i hate you and i hate the way you treat my mom i hope you
Mar 2019 · 206
storm
idk Mar 2019
as i face the impeding storm
and the rain fills my lungs
              with desperation and
                            adrenaline
i realize the solution is not to swim
                         it is to drown
Mar 2019 · 111
fl•ame
idk Mar 2019
noun

1. there’s water in the stars, and when it over flows it rains fire down upon us. it scared you once, and now pink scars run rivers down your cheeks.

2. maybe someday you’ll overflow just like the stars, and hell will bubble out of your mouth and onto the ground. there will be fire all around us and god will say, you have fire.

3. when you fell you reached up and your candle-wax rosaries burned all of time and space stored inside your brain, the records kept for nothing. and god will say, you have the end.

4. i walk miles of sand, half finished mirages in my wake as my heart beats to the vacuum of space. at night, if you look up, there are no gods there. you want him to say, here are the flames and here is the end, you want him to say you can die now. but there are no gods anywhere.
Mar 2019 · 93
Untitled
idk Mar 2019
strike me down with an arrow
make ribbons out of my bones
call my mother every time i die
tell her the weathers fine
and call on god to smite me
(strike me down, strike me down)
Mar 2019 · 144
Untilted
idk Mar 2019
Angels! Do you hear me?
Please, Lord God, I beg of you,
Hear my call!
Raise me up
Lord God, cast me down from heaven
Break over my ribcage like a summers pomegranate
For I am ripe for the tasting
is this about cannibals? ****????
Mar 2019 · 158
Untitled
idk Mar 2019
i hate being a girl I hate it they all made fun of me its not fair I asked to use the computer so I could run the program and none of them would let me and when I cried the instructor made me sit out I hate it I wish I was a boy I hate being a girl
Feb 2019 · 202
Untitled
idk Feb 2019
I broke my bedroom mirror last night it was an accident cos it fell while I slammed my door
and I went outside to get some air and some animal dug up my dead cats grave and exposed all his bones
I don't know it feels like there's a metaphor in there somewhere
Feb 2019 · 213
Untitled
idk Feb 2019
won’t you be my everything
i just want to be your anything
say something
say anything at all
Feb 2019 · 356
star-crossed
idk Feb 2019
you’ll never know //
i felt this way about you

you’ll never know //
i saw you in my dreams

you’ll never know //
all i ever wanted
was for you to be with me
Feb 2019 · 182
——
idk Feb 2019
crying over spilled milk is perfectly acceptable
Feb 2019 · 621
—————mockingbird
idk Feb 2019
take me under your wings
push me up to the sky
                  let me fly
                          let me fly
                                   let me fly
                    i’ve got my             wings now
             they’re full of the wind now
watch me go
                      watch me go watch me
let me fly much to high
        and when       i die
             throw me the roses
                    bury me deep
                            and bury      me next to you
                             let me fly
                             let me     fly
                       let me
Feb 2019 · 139
Untitled
idk Feb 2019
hearts don’t break
they rot
Feb 2019 · 137
Untitled
idk Feb 2019
its easy to wonder what people think when you never ask
Feb 2019 · 246
Untitled
idk Feb 2019
We blew bubbles toward the sky,
I jumped and ran to catch them in my hands
What did we pretend?
That we were fairies?

And I guess I'm a special type of sorry,
Cemetery sorry

You hurt so much but your touch is warm
I'm sorry I was never there
To keep you safe from harm
Feb 2019 · 185
xoxo
idk Feb 2019
i’ve been thinking about you //
can’t get you out of my mind
(it’s easy to pretend there’s nothing between us)
we’re just two kids // maybe together //
maybe forever
no matter what happens //
you’ll always be on my mind
(all of the time)
Jan 2019 · 112
Untitled
idk Jan 2019
My favorite day of the week is Thursdays because I go to see you and we aren't alone but I get to see U and U are always so warm and smell like fabric which is a really nice smell cos it reminds me of Jo Anns idk what I am even saying I think I have a crush on you but probably not I just like you a lot I'm not used to having friends but I do like it a lot when you hug me idk
Jan 2019 · 299
Untitled
idk Jan 2019
There's a girl I see a lot she makes me really happy and today I waited in the car while my dad went into the corner store to get cigarettes and a queen song played and I remember she told me she liked queen and I got butterflies in my stomach which I've only heard about in movies and I felt really nervous and suddenly I worry about if my jeans made me look too heavy or if my hair was messed up or if I looked pretty and idk why I think I just want her to be my friend
Jan 2019 · 160
Untitled
idk Jan 2019
i dont have determined feelings i just feel these overwhelming complicated emotions and I don't feel how other people do I have to choose to feel that way I wish I was normalmi wish I had normal feelings
Jan 2019 · 222
feeling low
idk Jan 2019
i know that i will never be the prettiest
or the funniest
or the smartest

i’ll never be the -est of anything
because the only thing i can ever be
is me

and for you that’s just not good enough.
Jan 2019 · 137
I LOVE WHEN IT RAINS :))))
idk Jan 2019
listening to the rain
puts everything in perspective
everything seems to matter a little less
when you’re standing in a rainstorm


it’s both quiet and loud
an interesting mix of lack and presence of sound
wind in my hair, clothes, on my face
i think this is why people believe in god

it’s very rare these days
to expirence something so raw
to realize
that we really matter nothing at all
that we are here, now
that we belong on earth

in this rainstorm

i let the weather soak my hair and my coat
running through the dark
my shoes barley touch the ground
i want to reach her
the rain
and tell her i finally believe in god
Jan 2019 · 71
Untitled
idk Jan 2019
i think about her all the time and idk why we were at this museam for school and the fishtank reminded me of her because it was made of beautiful blues and plants and fish and shes complicated and beautiful like that and we went on the roof where there is a greenhouse and I wanted to stop and look at every flower because it reminded me of her they are all so pretty and shes so pretty and I've never thought about bone of my friends this much before maybe shes my best friend
Jan 2019 · 315
valentine..?
idk Jan 2019
i made her a valentine telling her how I feel but I threw it away I'm gonna make a friend one instead. shes my friend I'm just confused
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