heaven doesn't even know how much i miss you already.

i'm getting so tired these days

i say i want to be healthy.
i say
that i don't want to destroy myself,
and i say
that i want to live.
but i've hardly eaten in two days,
the red on my wrist is recent,
and i thought about heaven last night.
i'll be fine.
i just need to learn
how to line up words and actions
as well as i line up
the marks on my skin.

i just wanna like myself

i hope you can forgive me

but whatever happens,

He is always good.

whatever happens.

and if i don't have you?

well

maybe i'll end up alone.

maybe you'll be the last.

and maybe that would be okay