she leaves me alone and like this i learn where to go

glass window
cold glass window
people out look bitty
my hands are on the city
and they're on the glass window

hell to all the windows
cause they block out the good city sound
that blocks my thinking when you aren't around
and i promise To God
i'll stay here before i ask you around
so this is the only way to you that I'll be bound
so to these windows i'll be bound

and you're around
outside probably
walking probably
taking that crisp winter walk
remember when we used to talk

i always liked it when we went on those
just to talk

if they go roll we go rock
if they go hip we go hop
just listening to the sound of the city stalk
just listening to the sound of the city block

by then we'd been going further each and every time
laying down the feet with feet like our own little rhyme

and you had that sweet conversation that you'd pour down my throat
and i had that sweet salvation of the words i bent down and wrote


on the glass window with my fingers on the fog
on the glass window with my tongue in the bog

i knew this and i knew this
i knew this
and i knew this

we walked through october in its falling rain
until a bad day in november came
to fill our december and make a dimming bright light quickly wane
and run wax down our fingertips till we learned each other's achy pain
stupid bad day
made me need to go away

and my january and my february screamed
happy **** birthday to me
happy **** birthday to you
happy valentines day, too.

let me scratch the window i wanna ******* hurt the window
but instead i stand by the window pane
cause i knew this pain and i loved
it anyway

city glass i'm seeing your face pass
church window i still see you at mass

here's the lecture you always skip
here's the professor you like to trip
here's the girl you used to like
once upon a time i poked holes in her bike

but i'm gonna go buy her a sundae today
and i'm gonna get her to teach me about the day
it all went away
as if it was always gonna go away

you held me like catastrophe. afraid to let your arms fall away from my chest.
i held you like i knew what i was doing.

i will sing you the saddest song you’ve ever heard and you can smile softly through tears, reveling in your love for a sad girl.
i am a tragedy. a melodrama.
but we are acoustic devendra banhart songs at dusk. the sweet orange wind softly brushing against your windows//against our cheeks.

borrowed lipstick kisses flower at the roots of your legs. i bloom between the spaces of your sighs and whisper to each curve of your mouth.
i can write a love letter to each breath you take.

i know you want me vigorous. i know you love me insatiable. and i want you like i know what i’m doing. i want you like i’m much older and wiser. i want you like i’m not a quick kid.

your drinks are always too bitter. you say you fell in love with me for my smoke and flowers.

that's the thing on the tip of my tongue
in a heart i felt nothing

but i had some dawns in me already
breaking truth

that else is not always else
and my self was not always myself
and i trust this and i need this truth

and if it's called selfishness
then i admit it to be
i swear it to be
because a heart where there is nothing else
only comes about for me

an end, i reach, came finally
all that was amind
was mine.

the biggest fog, cloudiest bog
aggregated aggravation
wish i could go around and change the notation

never MIND the abject self-criticality
i mind it the most when you mess with my practicality

cause i'm sick of this big big fog that i carry in me.
you wanna carry this for me?
i carry it for no reason but
an old commitment i used to have for interreality

and this isn't really my reality
this is your reality

so we play, and when we do, we play across the line
and when we cross your faults, they become mine
but like always
i'll take them
it's fine

forgetting i'm already sick of the weather
forgetting i don't know how to make it better
forgetting it forgetting it

filled of others
I'M FILLED with others
of what else?

you say else never was the anti-me
but i fought inner wars to have it reconciled in me

well, in any case,
your else, i used to make it mine

but here i fulfill my own. disown disown disown

cause i've laid no ties to this weaky throne
nor to the cloudy ****** weather i'm gonna have
overthrown

belonging to all these people i asked to leave me alone
by the way, they never left me alone
till i finally left me alone

honey i'm home
honey honey
i'm home
i'm more than skin i'm more than bone
but i'm not you
i'm my own


i keep thinking
if only i had known

if only i had known

let me guess we weren't the first
to sneak out here on our own
to "break the ice"
by raising skin to skin
and bone to bone

to tell all your good friends to leave us alone
when you know i'll tell you to leave me alone

god i always liked the flow that went
getting another life to swallow
without needing to pay rent

just another person to know we were just
other people to know

before figuring whether you were
the person to tell me when to come
or the one to tell me when to go

how do we know we know?
when i only try by saying
i'll try to know

but we look towards each other and
invite the other
to come and be the latest reach
for me to refer in relativity
all true all emotion
leech

and if we could just choose the things that run forever
then let it be the golden feeling i found
in the absence of sound

in the absence of speech

if skin was touch and touch was reach
and reach was sin and sin was breach

and if we pretend preach
could and would make it all better

then were you back here
when you finally got it together
put it all together

and when she tried to ask you to come back
why did you go ahead and get her

gold plated, irony faded
Haded. tell me all the truth unjaded
if it's all meant to be i'd hate it

before i roll on my back and say
do you miss it already
the quiet and the empty
the light without the heavy
the move without the levy
are we going to ever go back