I have been alone for too long
until I saw your face
and I never seen something so beautiful
and became paralyzed
I never got to tell you,
no,
I never got to tell you.

For some reasons my life seems like it is coming together and falling apart all at the same time. I am not sure if this is a part of growing up, or living in general but I don't know how to be comfortable with it. I appreciate the good that is happening; me graduating, moving in with my boyfriend, new things.  It all seems like I'm losing it all that at the same time I am gaining it and that is the part that is hard to understand.
"Whatre you going to do, where are you going to be?"
I know I should have these figured out but I dont. I dont know where I want to be or what I want to do. Right now I just want to be able to breathe without having work and pity arguments shoved in my brain.
I already know my later years are going to be harder,
let me just have this
everything that is in the moment.
Perhaps, my days will always have its good and its bad
just hoping I get through it.

I hate how alone I am.

I've got a lump or two
I inhale chemicals yes,
cough out my lungs, with specks of blood too
It is true,
I may yes I may,
be dying
but who is there to start prying
Forgive me,
for when I start crying
I am only afraid
and do not want to die alone.

Placed upon these green mountain tops,
above the ground we lye our feet on ,
with you,
here is where we inhale the green,
feeling the soft spring breeze,
Here, I don't want to die
Here, I don't want to die.