and just like *******,
you made my body numb to the bone.

Happy Birthday ,
to my sweetest sweetheart
486 days and I've only grown
to love you more
and I will continue to
until my heart decays
for I have not cared for anyone more
than I do you
and though our relationship
has not been such a smooth ride
It is one of my favorites
and I dont want anything more
than to keep riding along
with you baby
I love you with all my heart
my heart and everything I have
Happy Birthday,
Happy Birthday to you my sweetheart.

You weary eyes,
they are so driven for I
yes, I
have fallen in love with
such a beautiful boy as we
spend our nights chasing our
shadows ,
taking our time with our hands
held together.

I cry
I cry and I cry and I cry
because I have no one
no
not a friend, nor a foe
Seen
Treated
Talked to
as if I'm a hobo on the streets
You see,
I do I do
I do cry for a boy
because I love him so
even when his words are so low
so weak I cannot
pick myself up when I fall
cannot even get on my knees
and crawl
I only cross for my fingers
for the night I sleep
the next morning I awake,
and the blue birds,
yeah the blue birds will sing.

Red will forever and always be my most favorite thing I inhale into my lungs.

Cigarettes are nothing
but poison
the way you need them,
actually need them
when you get to that point
your ******
Flicking your finger makes you
just want one more
When Im anxious for one
the feeling
is horrible
inhaling all the toxins
feels so beautiful
and
When I cry,
I just want to hold one
in between my fingers
I hate needing them
Ive never needed something
so much right now
and I cant even have one
Makes me want to go mental.

This time last year,
the leaves were at the turn
to red and orange
it was a beautiful fall
was with a beautiful boy
who at the time
kissed me
and left me with bittersweet
goodbyes until next time
I had my best friend
to my side,
my sister to describe at best
I was happy and
all my worries seemed
to disappear with every smiled
that appeared

This time this year,
the weather is still warm
and leaves have not changed
a bit
nothings changed a bit
but perhaps gotten worse
Trust in my lover is bent
and I no longer have the best
friend I longed for
I cry for no reasons at all
Im stressed
and I feel like Im going to crack
crack again,
I need a cigarette
a glass of wine
anything to pass the time
to go back in time
to this time last year.