Some questions are unanswered.
Some answers are unsaid.
My childhood pleasures were gifts of Satan,
And Inferno lies ahead.

When I went to bed I seldom slept,
I closed my eyes and thought :
Pain, Torture, Sadism, Masochism,
Gifts that no one got.

Why only me and not my friends,
I often asked the earth,
Feets below in the fires of hell,
Satan waited in mirth.

Inferno was the dream of Satan,
He wanted me destroyed,
Brought me gifts from Infinity of Nature,
Till eighteen years I was toyed.

The thing never meant to me,
Its seriousness was like speck,
Doubtful though I kept travelling,
Alone in life's deck.

Its crescendo went weak and weak,
The conscience although tried,
Tried to keep the child away,
From Satan's treacherous guide.

My mind tore in "Right" and "Wrong",
And the child gradually died,
The eternal smile on whose face was,
Apparel of a typhoon inside.

I started feeling odd in groups,
My world was slowly shaking,
The joys of yesterday's child were,
A criminal in the making.

One night I was alone in room,
Void of people and thoughts,
Trying to summarise my mysterious life,
And connect the distant dots.

Years ago I told my mom,
But my words lacked precision,
"Gradual worsening " : concluded I,
And took the final decission.

That night I penned my last poem,
The "step" was hard but right,
To my horror, I saw yards ahead,
Two fiery eyes in night.

Those eyes were I thought I knew,
The powerful Satan was back,
Casted the spell of rebirth of my "Wrong",
While I urged for an attack.

Blitzkrieg! I grabbed the sword,
In a second I slayed the head,
Blood ran down, I fell headless,
As Inferno lay ahead.

But some questions are still unanswered,
And some answers are unsaid,
The pleasures of my childhood were Satan's gifts,
And Inferno lay ahead !

(A fictional suicide note.
#Battling the Evil Me
©Alberto Petrakov)