To the necklace you gave me

You are supposed to be locked up
In the box you came in
In the back of my drawer
But you're not
And you know that
Because you fall perfectly around my neck
Laying softly on my chest
During day and night you're there

And if they look closely
They might see you
But you're hidden
Under t-shirts and sweaters
By my hand if I'm nervous
Because it makes me feel better
Holding you, brings me closer to him
Like I'm holding the last string

They might think I'm stupid for still wearing you
But what you don't see can't hurt you

There you were again
Sitting on my bed
I finally thought I was getting over you
But of course I wasn't
It was stupid to believe I could
I was just distracted, not healed

Luckily,
You show up every time to remind me of it
In my dreams and hallucinations
But I'm not mad
I know I'm not ready to get over you

I like it when you show up
Even if it's not the real you showing up

It was October 2022
You were written out of the story called ‘’My life’’
And I really, really wanted the writer to put the pen down
Stop writing, stop making up these damaging plot twists
Because he took away my reason to be happy
But the writer kept on writing
I had hoped he would just end the book overnight
But instead he just closed the chapter
The chapter called ‘’you’’
I refused to move on to the next chapter
Yet I had to, eventhough I didn’t want to
Only I had no control and therefore no choice