If you only cared to look
You will see stories full of pain
A series with a ton of books
And a very damaged brain
Ask me my name
Ask me where I stand
It wont be the same
but you have a chance to understand

We bleed for the one we love
Both mentally and physically
Some think they are sent from above
others disagree
You fight to keep the light in their eyes
but the light flees
What now?

I know you will always feel self-conscious, but you need to know that what others think about you doesn’t  matter. You need to know when to move on from a negative comment. Never, ever think you are not good enough or that you have to change who you are to be liked by others. There will always be someone out there who will see the best in you no matter what. You have people in your life that love you and want you to be happy. You want to be able to live life to its fullest, but you can't do that if you are thinking about all those people who have hurt you. Sometimes the best thing to do is to move on, forgive, and forget.
I wish that you could see yourself the way that other people do. You think that others see you in a bad way, but they don't. You are the only one that sees yourself that way. You need to know that you are your worst enemy. You overthink everything, maybe you should think about the positive because that is what everybody is telling you to do, I think you should take their advice.
Always remember that being skinny will not make people like you more. How you act towards others will though. Being kind to other people will help everybody out. Even if you don't feel good one day that should not affect how you treat others. Having respect for yourself is also a big thing. Do not compare yourself to the people around you. The only thing that matters is how you think of yourself. So I'm going to tell you to always remember that you are loved more than you can imagine even when you feel like the whole world is against you, know that you have people who love you even when you feel lost and unappreciated.

Through the years of my life
I have learned what its like to feel pain
I've had to grow up at such a young age
I've had to give so much of myself to others
And leave me with nothing
Tell me is that not what it is to be broken?
I've had to leave loved ones behind
I've had to go through so much
Yet people tell me I'm fine
That it is wrong to be upset and angry and scared
Tell me is that not what it is like to be broken?
To be loved and left
To be afraid of certain people
To cry every night
Then carry on your days and pretend you are fine
That you aren't slowly dying inside

ℑ 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔭𝔶 𝔱𝔬 𝔟𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔟𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔣𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔡
𝔈𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔦𝔣 𝔦𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔰 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔞 𝔰𝔪𝔞𝔩𝔩 𝔞𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢

If you are only going to hurt me or say goodbye
Leave

We never said goodbye
I never saw you that day
Now all I do is cry
and waste my life away
I can't even try
Cause you didn't stay
I stare at the night sky
And I try to pray
But I don't know if he hears me
Or tries to see me through
Cause I will have to live
A lifetime without you

Womb
A new heart beating
A strong push in the belly
New life is starting
Birth
A beautiful thing
Such a love has came today
Now watch them grow big
Childhood
Innocent child
New to this amazing world
Growing strong and tall
Alive
I see the morning
Another day is coming
I am alive still
Death
When my time has come
Lay me on down in the ground
Allow me to rest
Heaven
See the streets of gold
Sing in the angels choir
Hear the trumpet sound
Eternity
To live forever
To smile in his presents
Now live with the lord

I cry every night
I cry until my eyes burn
I cry until all that is left is hollowness

𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝. 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢, 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎. 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍'𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚏 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎.

Look at this world
Have you seen what it's become
It breaks me to see this

My best friend
Has gone away
Never again will I see her face
She will live on
But in different ways
How many times will I cry
Or try to hold in pain
For she has gone on
She has gone away

You said hello for the first time
Had it pretty good
Until...
Until you had to say goodbye
Because they aren't in this life anymore

If Heaven had an address
I'd be writing away
You'd be receiving a letter
From me everyday
If Heaven had a phone
I'd be calling all the time
Id' still be your best friend
And you'd still be mine

I write poetry because it's healing parts of me that I thought couldn't be healed.
'Cause it gives me a sense of purpose
Even if it is something that I might not be the best at
I enjoy It
I enjoy reading poetry and trying to figure out the meaning behind the words
I write about my life in hopes that someone out there might relate to it.

Our candle burnt out
the flame is gone
Never once did we shout
But I let this pain go on
Our love was full of doubt
It left us hurt and drawn
I never should've said yes
Then I wouldn't've become a pawn
I never should've entered this mess
Our love deserved to be gone

Never will I forget the sound of your voice
Or the melody of your laughter
My friend by choice
I’ll remember you far after
Now that we are so far apart
I’ll always know a broken heart
Tell me you’ll be waiting for me
Whenever my time arrives
I’ll look for you in heaven
We’ll meet in the afterlife

The sun had tucked behind the clouds
Now all that's left is sadness
As the clouds are sobbing, there is nothing left
The days are slowly fading
The sidewalk cracks are filled
With every drop of rain
And every ounce of hurt
The dark umbrellas are opened
And the dirt turned into mud
The happiness has drowned with
Every drop of rain

Have you looked into the mirror
Just to see what you look like after you've cried?
To see how empty you look
I do...

From a young age
You have been scared of the dark
Maybe it's because you never know what is lurking there
You never know what is hiding there either
As you grow up you learn that the darkness is still there
Just in a different place
It's in your mind
And you can never get rid of it

I like to look for luck
I know that I need it
but the luck of the clovers
Is Imaginary
It simply just doesn't work
I have found enough in the time that I have been alive
For the "luck" to last me until I die
Believe it or not four leaf clovers
Do not hold luck
But looking for them gives you something to do
If only you can be patient enough to look for them.

The stars all have gone dim
And the streets all have filled
The lights Darkened with the night
As People gathered ‘round
To find the last alive
Whoever last was standing
Would be the one to hide
The rest were never to be seen again
During the darkest night

Love is an illusion that can drive you insane. I have learned that in the most harmful ways. Love can turn into hurt and bring more pain than anything else. Giving your heart so easily can return with an empty feeling. That emptiness will never leave you, it will torture you until you feel like you have nothing left in you. It will bring you to your knees. It will have that powerful grip on your mind and leave you broken and terrified.
We live in this world alone and we die alone. Tell me, is that not the truth? When we are here on this earth we are humiliated, mentally and physically used. We are lied to and cheated and envious of other people, beaten, and bruised. Yet we still choose to believe that when we are married off we will have our happy ending. Are you aware of the fact that that one person will not die with you? Yet there is always that chance that you will meet again and I have to doubt that you hold on to that. Still it is also not promised. So love is pointless, it is utterly useless. We don’t need it, we never really needed it to begin with.
Does it still hurt to wish for it though? Is the want to share that kind of bond with somebody wrong? I would still fight for that one little bit of joy in this reckless world. I would sit and wait for the one person to walk my way and say that they were lucky to have me and that they would fight for me if ever I was to walk away. I would be lucky for the opportunity to love somebody. I have one in a million chances to find that kind of joy through somebody. When I do finally find them they are my source of happiness, yet I have been told that is wrong. I have been told by too many people that I have to look for happiness on my own. Still It’s hard when you don’t know how to be happy.
I wish I lived in a book, when the guy always tried to fight for the girl. Even if she always shrugged him off like he was a fly buzzing in her ear. The type of love that is mysterious to other people and a love that is so good you must think that it is unreal. A love where I know exactly how my significant other is feeling and going through. Is that love false? Is it an unrealistic dream? Maybe there are other worlds out there where love is cherished and not used as an object. Maybe somewhere in our existence where people would fight maybe even **** for something that they love. Yet they would still know how to be kind and loyal as they are in a book.
The type of love that I wish that I had is fake. It is never able to be lived. I can only dream up a world where the right thing is fought for, and people keep their word. Where people didn’t give up on something or someone that they loved. A world where respect is earned, and lies are punished. A world where I could fight for love so deeply. Am I existing in the wrong world? Am I meant for more or nothing at all?
The love that I need will not exist because that kind of love is imaginary. It is nothing but a childish dream, because I want a world that is impossible to have. Maybe that is all the human kind wants. Something that they cannot have. Something that they wish they had more than anything.

There was not enough time
For me to say
I loved you so much
In every way
Your kindness your love
Your honesty and grace
Will live on through me every day

I despise everything that you have turned into
In the time we have been a part
You have changed
Your priorities have changed
Everything that made me fall in love with you
Has faded, It's gone now
The only thing that's left of what once was is the memories
But even that is not enough for me
To know that now all I have left for you is hate
I don't even think I can say I love you
Or that I was proud to say that once upon a time I did love you
In fact I am embarrassed to say that I used to call you mine
I know that people say that when you love somebody you want the best for them
I wanted the best for you, but now I want you to hurt the way I did
I want you to feel every emotion I felt
Especially when you were playing with my emotions
Because one day you wanted me the next I was nothing to you
I want you to feel the burn of all of it
I want you to cry until your lungs feel like they are going to cave in like I did
Because you Made me hurt, you made me feel useless
You made me hate you
Maybe your Mom had something to do with it too
when she told me I wasn't ever going to be enough for you
And I was the problem in your life
I cannot even look at you because of how much you hurt me
The fact that you even moved on so soon
Was I not anything to you?
Did I mean anything?
We were together for almost two years and as soon as we broke up
You moved on
You had a whole line of people waiting for you
And as soon as you could you went for the next person who showed you attention.
How pathetic

She said he was always staying
When everybody walked away
Now she is gone
And gone to soon
This bitter world had her convinced
that she was not good enough for us
Now instead of living
She lays in the ground
This wound is unable to be healed
I have to words left to say
Cause now she is with Jesus
And not with me

I am not the sun in your sky
or the stars in your night
I am not your umbrella when it rains
or your light when it's dark
I am not the one to pick you up when you fall
or the one to help you be stable
I am the one you forgot
I am the one you lost

.
Everybody is different. What does that mean?
It means we have a chance to see things from different perspectives.
It means that we have every opportunity to learn and grow as people.
We can see the world in a new light.
If only we have it in us to look for it.
We need to be kind and be uplifting and helpful.
That is something that everybody can work on
Including myself.

They all lost their lives
As they finally went down under
The ship has gone missing
Yet the weather was just fine
Everybody hoped to make it
But the ships were on thin ice
Nobody would’ve known
That laid beneath the water
Soon would be their boat
The ripples soon would fade
The screams would slowly die
But decades later
People would eventually find
A sunken boat beneath the water
With no one left alive

See the scars
Painted on her body
Do you see how she hides from the light?
She's afraid if she comes in they will see the faded lines
She's afraid that they will ask what happened to her
When she herself has not yet faced the truth
That this world is destroying her

She thinks that nobody sees her
but somebody does...

He notices her and he loves her
But he could never let her know that
Because he himself is drowning
And he knows that two people
Who are half alive
Cannot be together
Because it will be torturous for them both

You gave away your heart
Told yourself you were okay
Said 'til death do us part
Said you both would stay
Yet there was trauma and abuse
There were things you couldn't say
You made a stupid truce
now you've become a stray