Pish posh, **** ***, candy floss, dreck & dross, profit/loss, Hoss re-
mains Little Joe's boss. I ate a tuna fish when I was young. It jump-
ed into my mouth when I was asleep after I made it with the mother
of Little Bo Peep, pleaser of leased sheep & a creeper in a sea deep.

Daddy? Why does the church rector call you **** Face, and why do you call him Exploratory ****** Surgery? I'm asking for a friend. Well Son, the rector has extensive brain damage plus radical mental retardation. Oh, he seems normal in every other way. Ah, that's what I used to think.

Dear Commodore Volkok: I bought a toilet (the Volkok 25J) and I'm extremely perturbed. It's the green one with the squirrel-fur seat. It won't flush, even diarrhea! What's the deal with that?! Please call me soon because I miss your manly embrace. I'm on the toilet now (the Volkok 25Y) and I couldn't be happier. - Love and Kisses, Kathy Lee

Just wait José! Someday your knees will buckle and you will experience asthma and your chihuahua will succumb to dog cramps and your sister will too and then your cousin will double over in dog-cramp agony till nobody's breathing on their own anymore.

Lesley Stahl on U.S. sanctions against Iraq: "We have heard that a half million children have died. I mean, that's more children than died in Hiroshima. And, you know, is the price worth it?"; Secretary of State Madeleine Albright: "I think this is a very hard choice, but the price--we think the price is worth it." — "60 Minutes" (5/12/96)

The violence of your violent behavior makes me puke like a woman on puke-friendly drugs. I can't believe anything you say, especially when you're violent. I saw you hitting someone with a baseball bat in the head at the concert for violent people. I was shocked!

Here's the ticket for my Tour D vacation cruise to Europe. Hey, you've been bumped up to Tour E. Does Tour E include a room *****? Of course. Look. What? It says Maury Povich. I know. The staff always does that. It should say Tour E *** ***** but they think it's funny to put Maury Povich. Oh, I get it.

HELLO! Will you play "Temporary Lady" by the Ex-Walnuts? I sure will! "You sat in the back of the bus where it was pretty **** shady my temporary lady! Oh yeah, temporary lady! You're so mysterious with your pink hair and stubby mustache like you're really Max Klinger from that crazy-*** T.V. show called M-A-S-H! I dream of you in a **** strap speeding through an obvious highway patrol speed trap, my temporary lady..." Like 2 Negroes in darkness we couldn't see one another not even a little bit while toilet turds chased each other through greasy ****.

Daddy, why is it so expensive to be part of a lesbian triangle? There are several reasons. Scientists believe that during the seventh century lesbians could only couple during the winter months because of ice-dams. Later they abandoned that theory and adopted the lesbian true code margin explanation that placed the blame for wildly-expensive triangular lesbian arrangements on the government, especially the Department of Lesbian Affairs. Today, most lesbian triangle encounters involve men who resemble David Schwimmer. Nobody can explain it.

is a large *****. They live in a house in the non-***** section of a large ***** city. 1 day, as my sister was popping her nut, Jamaal (her husband) was tuning his guitar because he could tune a guitar but he couldn't tuna fish.

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Nothing CANNOT produce something. In order for the postulation known as the "Big Bang" to hold water one must accept that: Nothing CAN produce something. Other than the "Big Bang": Does institutionalized “science” have any examples of something emanating from nothing? Or: Is this the one and only instance where-from ZERO evolved into anything (or universally-speaking: everything)?