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It's never too late (unless you're senile) to experience intimacy with a woman of the opposite ***. Now, and for a limited time, you can attend church weddings and funerals in total comfort! Lift heavy women high over your head and throw them off bridges! It's fun! It's amazing! It's like being a super man with the largest ****** in the world! Run, jump and tumble like a Yugoslavian! Don't worry about ****! You're mega-rich with huge ******!
19h · 27
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???
LOW-NIG BOOSTER INSURANCE - Claudia, my nig's running
high. I fear that it'll get bumped off into the water as the ship
de-docks. Here, place this ***** bag under it and extend
your longer leg till your toes warm up. Got it!
1d · 16
Open a Bible
People are everywhere, crashing helicopters, feeding spring rolls
to bus drivers, visiting the sisters of Internet chicks. You're nice.
You won't be lonely forever because nobody lives forever.
When poltergeists knock, open a Bible. Too morose I
mustn't be, for a girl who's a mere decade plus three.
1d · 28
Problem 90
HOW DO AMISH MEN HAVE *** IN THE DARK when they're not allowed to own light bulbs? - They're very careful and have mapped out what to do in their minds. - Are Amish women passionate when it gets dark outside? - Yes. - How do I know if I'm Amish? Is there a test that I can take or should I just wait for it to get dark outside? - Wait for it to get dark outside.
1d · 12
Richard Gere
SHOCKING NEWS FROM HOLLYWOOD! Barbi Benton's love for Hugh Hefner (founder of ๐˜—๐˜ญ๐˜ข๐˜บ๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜บ magazine) made 14 million ex-lesbians furious. Once, while she was waxing her arm pits, there was a tremendous explosion in the master bathroom: Hugh had been pulling hand grenade pins when one fell on his *******. Emergency surgery was performed and Barbi happily donated skin from her ***** for grafting purposes. While convalescing, Heff wrote a beautiful song about Barbi's ****-skin and she did likewise about his maimed testicles. Fifteen years later Richard Gere inserted a greasy gerbil up his ****.
After developing hair cancer, an ex-lesbian had her bones removed
so now she's able to sit and stand at the same time. Another
ex-lesbian became a coal miner by accident. "I used to
be a ****-diver but now I'm a coal miner. My great
grand-kids will be thrilled when I tell
them all about it in 50 years."
After buying an Italian restaurant Maria's natural beauty became tainted by lasagna. She was urged to remove it from the menu, but she wouldn't, and now she's dead. It could've been the series of experimental vaccines that killed her, but more likely it was the exposure to lasagna ingredients that overwhelmed her immune system.
แดกษชแด›สœ แด€ แดแดสŸแด€ส€ ษชแดแด˜แด€แด„แด›ษชแดษด

We kissed on the porch
that you set afire with a torch
as my only house burned
that I bought with Mexican
pesos that I earned in
Venezuela last spring
where I had gone to sing
sad songs about my
mixed-gender heritage
COULD IT BE A KELTIC RELIC FROM AN ANCIENT PEA-GREEN SEA? It was in queen Lizzie's cellar for 500 years before it disappeared. WHAT WAS IT? It weighed 9,000 tons and couldn't even be lifted by 20,000 godless Egyptians. It was a gift from Elohim for modern corporators & syndicators who butchered crocodilians & alligators. It stumped the choppers and chopped the stumpers. It came with fenders and chromium bumpers. It made the king sad and fair maidens service men who were eternally bad. It was everything, yet nothing at all as it grew less popular than Sears in Sarasota Mall. WHAT WAS IT ANYWAY, this thing that made gay men pay? Who can say?
Here, better use my lesbian bible. Thanks. That's better. The bed's level now. Oh well, back to lesbian ***. I bruised my **** last time. I don't want to use either rubber strap again. Maybe, I'll go to Home Depot, pick up a coil of copper wire. Look at her! That big ***** needs her come-uppance! I'll smack her around a bit in the locker room and then I'll write a screen play about high schoolers victimized by bullying. I think America's ready for such a movie.
Elton John shoved the nozzle into the gas tank like a maniac who needs regular gas badly. "That will be 45 dollars," the gay clerk said. Elton just looked at him like he was crazy. "How long have you been a homosexual?" Elton asked meanly. "8 years and 5 months," the clerk replied nervously. "Well, here's 50 dollars and keep the change!" Elton exclaimed with a big smile on his face that made the clerk wonder about Elton's true ****** preference.
4d · 30
WHAT PROOF?
Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, myocardial infarction with non-obstructive coronary arteries & isolated tachycardia were reported following immunisation with mRNA COVID-19 vaccines. (PMID: 34921468)
-------------------------------------
โ€‹In eight years of repeated malfeasance, Pfizer has accumulated $3 billion in fines and civil penalties. (PMID: 21532766)
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โ€‹Compared to females, vaccination by COVID-19 mRNA vaccines in males was associated with an increased risk of myocarditis and pericarditis. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1101/2021.08.12.21261955
---------------------------------------------­----------------------
โ€‹Bell's Palsy After 24 Hours of mRNA-1273 SARS-CoV-2 Vaccine : The FDA recommends increased surveillance of the vaccines among larger populations. (PMID: 34336436)
=========================================
โ€‹Evaluating the relationship between myocarditis and mRNA vaccination: Expert opinion: Myocarditis may be associated with vaccination, through several biological mechanisms. (PMID: 34738500)
------------------------------------------------------
­โ€‹Use of mRNA COVID-19 Vaccine After Reports of Myocarditis : The CDC has developed patient and provider education materials about myocarditis & symptoms of concern. (PMID: 34237049)
-------------------------------------------------
โ€‹SARS­-CoV-2-Specific IgA in Vaccinated Lactating Health Care Workers: Results show that the mRNA-based vaccines induce SARS-CoV-2-specific IgA & IgG secretion in human milk. (PMID: 34427487)
-------------------------------------------------------­-
โ€‹The risk of myocarditis after receiving mRNA-based vaccines was highest after the second dose in young men. This risk should be considered in the context of COVID-19 vaccination. (PMID: 35076665)
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โ€‹Th­e most devastating neurological post-adenovector-based vaccination complication is cerebral venous sinus thrombosis which is frequently reported in females of child-bearing age. (PMID: 34719776)
----------------------------------------------------
โ€‹D­eaths associated with SARS-CoV-2 vaccination. The PEG antibody, an additive in cosmetics & pharmaceuticals (and a component of the vaccine), is assumed to be the main allergen. (PMID: 33895650)
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โ€‹Association of Myocarditis With BNT162b2 Messenger RNA COVID-19 Vaccine in Children: The long-term risks associated with post-vaccination myocarditis remain unknown. (PMID: 34374740)
I frequently eat noodles with a fork when I'm forking around
with a bowl of pork, fresh from a pig, a lifeless pig, a pig
of no consequence, a swine with no name. Oh Monster
Rogers! I never liked Joe Negri. He made
my grandmother's *** tired.
STOP MESSING AROUND WITH FOOD THAT'S POISONOUS
โ€œGay Cubans speak proper Spanglish which is why monkey-taming
comes natural to them!โ€ Hans insisted. โ€œWhat about wild A.I.D.S.?
Didn't Cubans give it to monkeys?โ€ Fritz asked. โ€œNain, Cubans are
known for their willingness to substitute ravioli for rigatoni. I knew
5 Cubans with **** warts & they didn't let that stop them!โ€ Reason-
ed Hans. โ€œOh! God! Stop them from what?!โ€ Fritz needed to know.
6d · 31
NATURE SPIRIT
What's this Tammy? It Nature Spirit dog food. I bought it at Walmart. It was on sale. Nature Spirit? Do our dogs like it? They sure do! Jeffrey finished his entire bowl in 4 minutes. Wow! What about Charles? Pretty much the same. Hey? Where are our 2 children: Kennedy and India? They're at school learning to reed and write. You spelled read wrong. I don't care.
6d · 34
LESBIAN CAR WASH
Daddy, can we go to the new lesbian car wash? Sure. Where is it?
Across from the old lesbian car wash. At the new one, trained
lesbians will lick our car clean. I find that hard to believe. Well,
I lied about them being trained but they will lick our car.
LESBIAN TABLE FOR SALE! It comes with a booklet. Be the life of the party with this table! "Trixie! Is that a lesbian table?!" A lesbian guest might ask, and you'll say": "It sure is Minnie! Would you like to 'eat' from it?!" and then she says: "I'm a lesbian so of course I'd like to 'eat' from it!" and you answer back: "Let's take off our tight clothes then!" and she giggles and before anyone can stop you the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein shows up with a big bag of lesbian lubrication cream and you say: "Oh no!" It's Jeffrey Epstein's ghost!" and finally the ghost exclaims: "I am the spirit of president Zachary Taylor, not Jeffrey Epstein!" and everyone starts taking their clothes back off.
HOW TO BE HOT FRIENDS WITH STRING-BEAN GROWERS
Never take NO for an answer. String-bean growers are normal
like you & me, although not really. When a string-bean grower
attacks you politically & medically with his โ€œspecial string-
bean-growing-knowledge,โ€ simply remind him of your
willingness to shoot anyone who gets in your way.
7d · 24
George Michael
Former living male person George Michael married a homosexual
man and together they had 5 beautiful children. George carried
to full term  3 of the babies (Bobby & the twins) & George's
husband (name withheld for homosexual
reasons) carried Mya & Evelyn.
I was diving for sea shells with my buddy, mongrel Rob Schneider,
when I swam upon the rotting stiff of the crapped-out Roy Scheider
who had been worm-dessert less longer than famous, comic/cosmic
***** Lenny Bruce, who began in '26 as Leonard Alfred Schneider.
Barbara Millicent Roberts & Kenneth Carson, here's my very short review of the new color movie, ๐˜'๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜•๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜“๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ. The movie is divided into 18 vignettes. It begins with a young woman vomiting over the side of a boat. The narrator explains that she's sea sick. In the next scene, the young woman is vomiting aboard a plane. The narrator explains that she's suffering from motion sickness. And so it goes, 18 incidents of vomiting. ๐˜'๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜•๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ฎ๐˜ช๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ ๐˜ฎ๐˜ถ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ ๐˜ฎ๐˜บ ๐˜“๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ฆ is remorseless in its depiction of 1 woman's struggle with chronic vomiting. I've Never Vomited so much in my Life is as good as it gets in its genre.
๐“๐Ž ๐€๐“๐“๐‘๐€๐‚๐“ ๐€ ๐‹๐Ž๐•๐„๐‘ ๐ก๐š๐ฏ๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐จ๐จ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ
๐›๐ฎ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ก๐ž ๐ซ๐ž๐š๐๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ก๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐›๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ข๐ซ๐ž๐. "๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฐ
๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐›๐ฎ๐ญ๐ญ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ˆ ๐ ๐š๐ข๐ง๐ž๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ข๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐›๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐ญ๐š๐ญ๐ญ๐จ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ
๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ๐ฌ ษชษด๊œฑแด˜ษชส€ษชษดษข แดกแดส€แด…๊œฑ," ๐š ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ž ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ.
Gloria set her jugs on the counter-top while Tracy played hide-the-muffin like a good little girl. โ€œWhere are my tweezers?โ€ Baynard asked. โ€œI'm gay and I need them.โ€ Just then Captain Foster walked in. He had been at sea for 3 weeks. โ€œKiss me!โ€ He demanded, followed by the sea-horn effect that made Chelsea cringe. โ€œOh, hi Dad,โ€ she said painfully, as her ****** still stung from the hornet sting. โ€œWhy were you running bottomless through farmer Watson's meadow?โ€ Bay asked. โ€œI told you,โ€ Chelsea whispered devilishly, โ€œI was chasing an Irish fairy.โ€ Suddenly there was a loud rhythmic banging coming from the apartment upstairs. โ€œIt sounds like the gay swingers are having an **** again,โ€ the Captain said as his bell bottom trousers slipped to the floor. โ€œWho wants to play Toni Tennille?โ€ He asked brazenly.
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