On Mount Washington proto-Pittsburghers were drunk on Iron City Beer. Negroes laughed at them and made funny faces like they were in Africa. Rocks were thrown and windows were smashed into a million sherds. Large women who looked like Rosie O'Donnell knelt before a statue of Fred Pittsburgh (Pittsburgh's founder) and threw up slimy chunks of cottage cheese. It was sickening.

THE ADVANTAGES OF STORING FOOD IN YOUR STOMACH (1) Easy accessibility. It only takes 1 finger pushed down your throat to trigger the gag reflex. (2) Fun. It's fun to puke up food. (3) Prestige. If your employer is willing to pay you to ***** on demand then finding women to sleep with you will be a piece of cake.

COULD IT BE A KELTIC RELIC FROM AN ANCIENT PEA-GREEN SEA? It was in queen Lizzie's cellar for 500 years before it disappeared. WHAT WAS IT? It weighed 9,000 tons and couldn't even be lifted by 20,000 godless Egyptians. It was a gift from Elohim for modern corporators & syndicators who butchered crocodilians & alligators. It stumped the choppers and chopped the stumpers. It came with fenders and chromium bumpers. It made the king sad and fair maidens service men who were eternally bad. It was everything, yet nothing at all as it grew less popular than Sears in Sarasota Mall. WHAT WAS IT ANYWAY, this thing that made gay men pay? Who can say?

The U.S.S. Princeton was a ***** steam warship of the United States Navy. Commanded by Captain Robert F. Stockton, Princeton was launched on September 5, 1843.

On February 28, 1844, during a Potomac River pleasure cruise for dignitaries, one gun exploded, killing six people, including Secretary of State Abel P. Upshur and Secretary of the Navy Thomas Walker Gilmer, and injuring others, including a United States Senator and Captain Stockton. The disaster on board the Princeton killed more top U.S. government officials in one day than any other tragedy in American history.[1] President John Tyler, who was aboard but below decks, was not injured. The ship's reputation in the Navy never recovered.

To reduce fagginess, John Travolta had cosmetic surgery on his face
and yet the fagginess remained till age 46 when his nose exploded
from a freakish congenital anomaly called post-queer nasal burst.
Later on, John kissed a man on the lips at the airport for 5 minutes.

Wiener King & Muzzle Man died today in a vat of butter at the butter dairy where Maria Hopkins lived under her desk in office six. Nobody with an ounce of oleo could've shaved either of them 'cause their beards were tangled. Love's one thing, not the only thing.

Betty White (January 17, 1922 – December 31, 2021) ate live turtles and toads to maintain "mega-strength." Her sister, who was 78% Italian and 56% non-Italian, often chided Betty for her live turtle/toad diet. 1 day, as Betty was pulling her thong out of where thong bikini bottoms wanna go, a strange man approached her from an unlicensed live turtle-meat corporation. Betty was so hungry that she quickly ate the poor ******* raw to gain additional "mega-strength."

that his toilet won't flush because it's clogged with hundred-dollar bills that he uses as toilet paper. He has so much money that he throws it out the window after using it as toilet paper because his toilet is clogged.

My lust for you is like a corn chip floating in a sea of corn-chip lovers with asthma. My adoration for you is nicer than a gun with 5 crates of high-velocity bullets that you got 'cause you just found out that you're 2⅝% gay after porking 8 ***** who won't get out of the way.

Donna hoisted her bloated *** from the large hole on the Grand Canyon trail. "******* aborticide lovers," she spat to Bobby, her sister-in-law. "Don't look at me. I don't eat shrimp," Bobby replied vindicated, exonerated, full of venereal pathogens. Later, after Jesus floated safely groundward, large bell bottom jeans became fashionable again.

for another huge win! Never before in the history of God has there been such constant winning! Get involved with God now and enjoy a 10%-off discount or risk being killed by God or one of His people who will make it look like an accident even though it isn't accidental.

"Oh Gordon," Tammy began, "I thought you were deeply in love with me? The way you painted my house; lifted my fat sister high above your head; punched my mother to make her stop breathing and then punched her again to make her start."
   Gordon looked astonished and amazingly **** with his long ***** and urbane mannerisms. "I'm going away Tammy to a *****-shortening clinic in another country."
   "Oh no Gordy! Please don't have your ***** shortened! I love it so much. It brings such comfort to me," Tammy sobbed while her medium-big ******* hardened like crazy.
   "Listen Tammy: my ***** is too long. Admit it. Two weeks ago a woman with a hairy crotch threatened me with birth-control pills for ten minutes. Ten minutes!"
   Tammy turned away ashamed. "That was me Gordy. I was wearing a fake crotch wig to fool you."
   Gordon chuckled at that. "Here," he said while offering his ***** to her selflessly, "take my *****. Grip it firmly. I promise that I won't have it shortened."
   That August Tammy had a baby who was so black that Gordon suspected that she'd been ******* Negroes and he was right.