THE KIDNEY FINANCE STORY - When Kitty Gomez was young her parents divorced, each moving to another country far away. Kitty and her brother Hector were placed in an orphanage. 1 day, as Kitty was swimming in the Missouri River with 3 friends, there was a huge explosion at the cottage cheese factory (along the river) that spewed cottage cheese for thousands of feet in all directions. Kitty, though frightened and covered in cottage cheese, was unhurt. After washing off the cottage cheese, she kicked back to enjoy an ice-cold Iron City beer. "Hey!" Hector yelled from the bathroom. "Save a cold one for me!"

For Palmerston North woman Val Burr, 71, the parole hearing process is one she’s used to. She dreads each August as she once again faces begging a panel of people not to let her daughter’s killer out of jail.

On September 15, 2002, 16-year-old John Wharekura knocked on the door of Tanya Burr’s Hilda St. flat and asked her for a piece of paper and pen, supposedly to write a note for a friend in a neighbouring flat.

When the 21-year-old turned, he went inside and stabbed her 15 times. At the time, he was one of New Zealand’s youngest killers and had an undiagnosed psychosis.

John Wharekura was 16 when he killed Tanya Burr, making him one of New Zealand's youngest killers at the time. Photo / NZME
John Wharekura was 16 when he killed Tanya Burr, making him one of New Zealand's youngest killers at the time. Photo / NZME

He was freed in 2018 following his 14-year non-parole period but recalled the following year after problems with adhering to parole conditions and his mental health. He has since been convicted of assault offences in prison.

In 2021, he was charged with wounding with intent to cause grievous ****** harm relating to an assault on another prisoner. The Auckland District Court confirmed to the Rotorua Daily Post no conviction was entered because he had an insanity defence.

Before Johnny Pencil invented the first pencil, writers had to **** zebras to acquire pure zebra blood to compose love letters to maidens with budding *******. These love letters were often sad. Here's one: "I had to **** a zebra a few minutes ago to write to you even though you're fat and fugly. Did the zebra deserve to die? Time will tell." A century later it was divulged that the letter's author was George Washington's grandfather, Hector Z. Washington.

Ronald Reagan's resilience to dath, I mean death, caused him to live for many years. His woman Nancy also lived a long time till she predictably crapped-out. The Reagan children are alive now, enjoying twice-daily bowel movements and generally having a good time.

I describe my baboon as baboon-shaped. Her name's Babs, which is
short for baboon. Sunday I pushed her to the library where we were
given a library balloon. It had snot on it, the balloon, because the li-
brarian had the Shanghai flu. I'll take my free-book-borrowing busi-
ness to Havana, Cuba, where snotty librarians are chippy chipper &
well & they never trim their dry quims & they're not bound for hell.

I describe my baboon as baboon-shaped. Her name's Babs, which is
short for baboon. Sunday I pushed her to the library where we were
given a library balloon. It had snot on it, the balloon, because the li-
brarian had the Shanghai flu. I'll take my free-book-borrowing busi-
ness to Havana, Cuba, where snotty librarians are chippy chipper &
well & they never trim their dry quims & they're not bound for hell.

ᴀ ʀᴜꜱʜ ᴏꜰ ᴇɴᴅᴏʀᴘʜɪɴꜱ
Hallelujah! I will hang on and you will hang on (& we will hang on)  by the hairs of our chinny-chin chins, if only to experience the "orgasmical"~ "climaxical" ~ "orgiastical" rush of endorphins upon learning of the excruciatingly-prolonged suffering of every woogie-******* reprobate who ever ******* us over, AMEN!

When Sheila Moon Glow was twenty-seven she had a large wart removed from her brother's nose. The money that it cost came indirectly from the Sheila Moon Glow Endowment for the Arts. After a brief recovery her brother went on to develop several other warts on his ****. Sheila made available money to have them frozen off.

If I could just have 17,000 last wishes before I die, wish number 14 would be to visit the timeless death machine with my new friend cackling Kammy Harris and just after pushing her in I'd run like an African American as fast as I can.

Will veterinarian-approved treatments prolong my dog's suffering? Yes, veterinarians are like you and me except they are forbidden to use toilet paper by law, so instead they simply jump into Lake Michigan after each bowel movement. Can a veterinarian have *** with a woman? No, veterinarians are unable to do that. If I marry a veterinarian, what will our children look like? Dogs. Will a veterinarian ever be the president of Urugay? No. Veterinarians, although they're like you & me except when it comes to toilet paper usage, are intellectually inferior to all people, except Haitians.

Hi! Would you like to try our prostitutional services today? Sure! How much? A lot! No. I mean, how much does it cost? What? Your prostitutional services?! Sir, this is Kmart! If you want a *******, you'll have to go to McCrory's. Forget it. Fifteen dollars. For what? For a Kmart *******. But you said...NEVER mind what I said! It's fifteen dollars! Okay. I'll take one. One what? One *******. Sir, we don't offer prostitutes for fifteen dollars. Try Sears or Montgomery Wards.

(1) The Shaw brothers founded South Sea Film Studio. (2) True table grapes are availed to vintners—grapes that are table-shaped. (3) Nassau moves to the Bahamas. (4) A rat-faced baby is born on a cliff in New Jersey. (5) Nikola Tesla invents puberty. (6) The United States becomes the home of the land that's free of the brave.

Sanpaku gan is a Japanese term meaning "three whites" most often used in English to refer to a folk belief according to which the visibility of the sclera above or under the irises has various meanings as an omen or symptom in alternative medicine.[2][1] It was introduced into English by George Ohsawa in the mid-1960s as a condition supposedly cured by his macrobiotic method.[3]

A DIVINE MIRACLE OF AVIATION IN OLD NEW YORK CITY - Tim Browne flew his mighty airplane directly into the Empire State Building at 400-miles-per-hour. “Is everyone alright?!” He asked as wreckage was still hitting the pavement. “We're okay back here!” A young woman yelled from the rear. “I've never felt better!” Another passenger reported. “That's odd,” Tim said to his pretty girlfriend at his side. “I thought that crashing directly into the top floor of a very huge building at 400-miles-per-hour would surely have killed us all, considering the mega-extreme impact!” Later, it was determined by the federal aviation inspectors that Tim was pretty lucky to be alive 'cause crashing a plane at that deadly speed always kills everybody!

A neighbor had me for egg nog, then she closed the curtain, scaring
me a little like water on electric fans scared the monk Tom Merton.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WIKI: Death
On December 10, 1968, Merton was at a Red Cross retreat center named Sawang Kaniwat in the town of Samutprakarn near Bangkok, Thailand, attending an interfaith conference between Catholic and non-Christian monks.[31] After giving a talk at the morning session, he was found dead later in the afternoon in the room of his cottage, wearing only shorts, lying on his back with a short-circuited Hitachi floor fan lying across his body.[32] His associate, Dom Jean Leclercq, OSB, states: "In all probability the death of Thomas Merton was due in part to heart failure, in part to an electric shock."[33] Leclercq made no mention of the fact that there was no autopsy and that there was a bleeding wound in the back of Merton's head that has never been explained. [34] Arriving from the cottage next to Merton's, the Primate of the Benedictine Order and presiding officer of the conference, Rembert Weakland, anointed Merton.[35]

Hugh Turley and David Martin note that Thomas Merton befriended and inspired such radical peace activists as Martin Luther King and Daniel Berrigan, and conclude their investigation of his death with the following words:

The best evidence indicates beyond any serious doubt that Merton was murdered. . . . The story that a fan killed Merton is so preposterous that a series of fantastic stories have had to be invented to make it believable….Who did it and why? The CIA had the motive and the means.”[32]

Here's the ticket for my Tour D vacation cruise to Europe. Hey, you've been bumped up to Tour E. Does Tour E include a room *****? Of course. Look. What? It says Maury Povich. I know. The staff always does that. It should say Tour E *** ***** but they think it's funny to put Maury Povich. Oh, I get it.

"Whether it was Harry Hopkins or Mary Poppins, it's wrong to deep-fry poodles!" Is the denunciation of evil that will come at the conclusion of my prophetic testament to the luscious maidens of Sumatra before Satan plunges them into inescapable darkness because no broken spine's going to stop me from climbing Mount Everest! You can fire bazookas at me and run my mother over with a snow mobile and I won't care!

"And so long as you have the fire of the heart within you, and know the reality of it, you need to be under no alarm as to the possibility of its chemical or mechanical analysis." - The Queen of the Air by John Ruskin

Can chicken soup keep my prostate from exploding? Jesus! I don't even have a prostate gland but if I did I'd eat chicken soup by the barrelful to keep it from blowing up. What about unemployment and joblessness? Should I keep a mechanical prostate nearby just in case? These are just 3 questions of 22 questions that keep me awake when I'm not asleep. To learn more, read a book or enhance your brain with brain-enhancing drugs while enjoying 20%-off on any item from Walmart while supplies last or until Walmart becomes a F.E.M.A. guillotine encampment.

Many things. Gynecology isn't just for dentists who like women. It's for men who enjoy big-game fishing and bowling-pin setting. It's for ex-lesbians with bullet scars on their butts.

Good old-fashioned colon cancer. He was just sitting there on a park bench when he died. That's so sadly tragic. What about his wife? She's in a mental hospital coping with traumatic stress. Her brother just turned into a woman. He was just sitting there on a park bench when he turned into one. A woman? Yes, a real woman with all the features of a woman except for a womb and the accompanying parts. That's terrible. Can he have babies? No, because he has no womb yet. Yet? Yes, he's going to get an experimental womb-transplant from a male monkey whose prostate gland will be hormonally transmogrified into a structurally-accurate womb. It's amazing what doctors can do these days: changing monkey parts into non-monkey parts; switching babies at birth as if by accident; cooling the tempers of militant homosexuals with soothing words of regret.

A birthday gift! I put a lesbian in a box & nailed it shut for you. For me? You're so nice. I know. I drilled air-holes in the side so the lesbian wouldn't suffocate. You are so wise. This is a wonderfully-thoughtful gift for any lesbian.