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99 · Sep 2024
[an ape-scraped pate]
SLAY THE MONARCH & THE PROGRAM whilst ***** smokes
shadows upon walls indebting ***** to plucky seven vinegar strokes
I see no point projecting unlaid, lay-about chicks from routine coax
of Kabuki theater flim-flamming quackery that's a penny-ante hoax
wrecked banjaxed on grimy floors sudsed-in crap in which it soaks
I'll never see Cleveland alive as Mother is making it with some fly
whose stolen Detroit dives to hell under ***** bucks who are high
on fed cheese that is curdled & matured on the Chinese ****** lie
broadcasted across seas placid by radio hoo-hoo below half-life sky
tenting fortified wines blended with hops, barley and mildewed rye
in bath tubs devoid of naked wenches morally-wonked and gun-shy
working the angles on de-lousing Camden: old New Jersey's pig sty
because the sight of immorally-uncivil plans blind the Lutheran eye
Subhan Allah, David & Goliath, Samson & Delilah must wilt & die
as cities ***** & Gomorrah substituted fruit cake for pumpkin pie
legions of sodomites patrolled all alleyways as curfews didn't apply
when crusaders knighted moralistes Chrรฉtiens were in short supply
& negroids unarmed had no choice in whitey nations but to comply
'cause guns over butter win the body-count, nobody alive can deny,
while prisoners without tongues are so stuck-up, they will not reply
till they overcome their dispositions as amputees tongue-tied & shy
about swift kicks to those Chaz Bono regions that cause men to cry
in an ionospheric register that shouldn't emanate from a normal dye
except in incorporated Amรฌrฬƒkร  where each prison fry cook must fry
or suffer the fate that ruined commanding lieutenant William Bligh
whose sympathy was such that he'd have done better not to even try
tasteless breadfruit diplomacy upon a sweaty-palmed Christian guy
as it was a tipsy, get-go endeavor like herding cats & feeding slaves
or burying a whacked **** in any of Idaho's tourist-attracting caves
opposite a funky monument to governor Butch Otter making waves
without his buck teeth, quaffing ****** from barrels lacking staves
to enshrine an ape-scraped pate or picnicker's litany of close shaves
from the living, dying by demi-godlike, semi-doctors' clots & raves
in the bowels of the A.M.A. & the C.D.C. for Luciferian conclaves
while suppressing experiences of saving at Equibank in olden days
before gay Pittsburgh was inundated with homosexual lesbian gays
who imbibed ****-soaked chicory quenchers on pap-smeared trays
99 · Sep 2024
CRAZY LEZZIES!
What are you feeding these lezzies?! They're absolutely nutty! Horse
bile & chipmunk tongue! Is that what's got them so riled up?!
Maybe. Let me adjust their urinary bladder regulators.
If things don't change around here for the better, I'm
going to shut down this project and **** everyone!
97 · Sep 2024
The Murder of Tanya Burr
For Palmerston North woman Val Burr, 71, the parole hearing process is one sheโ€™s used to. She dreads each August as she once again faces begging a panel of people not to let her daughterโ€™s killer out of jail.

On September 15, 2002, 16-year-old John Wharekura knocked on the door of Tanya Burrโ€™s Hilda St. flat and asked her for a piece of paper and pen, supposedly to write a note for a friend in a neighbouring flat.

When the 21-year-old turned, he went inside and stabbed her 15 times. At the time, he was one of New Zealandโ€™s youngest killers and had an undiagnosed psychosis.

John Wharekura was 16 when he killed Tanya Burr, making him one of New Zealand's youngest killers at the time. Photo / NZME
John Wharekura was 16 when he killed Tanya Burr, making him one of New Zealand's youngest killers at the time. Photo / NZME

He was freed in 2018 following his 14-year non-parole period but recalled the following year after problems with adhering to parole conditions and his mental health. He has since been convicted of assault offences in prison.

In 2021, he was charged with wounding with intent to cause grievous ****** harm relating to an assault on another prisoner. The Auckland District Court confirmed to the Rotorua Daily Post no conviction was entered because he had an insanity defence.
97 · Nov 2024
Kammy Harris
"Dear Lover," Debbie whispered through a feeding-tube, "one day we'll make love in a motel room in France a lot." Suddenly, like a miracle, Kyle's eyes flew open like a helicopter stalling out over the Teton Dam. "Oh Kyle! God does grant prayer requests!" Debbie exclaimed like she was Kammy Harris opening a bag of new knee pads. Debbie, why are you crying? My mother was just eaten by cannibal Pygmies. Oh, is she going to be alright? Yes, I think so. Mom? Are you okay? Yes darling. I'm just a little sore.
96 · Sep 2024
THE IMPORTANCE OF OHIO
I must hurry so that I'm not late for an important meeting
with an important man who works for an important
corporation in the ****** travesty of Ohio. I'm
going now and I'm taking a candle with me
just in case the lights go out.
95 · Sep 2024
GUIDED BY HOT DOGS
Till yesterday I kept my scary spellings to myselff (like spelling
MYSELF with two effs). Now (now that I'm a new woman)
I can express myself freely like cows do at a dairy
(even though they're tethered to an
automatic milking machine).
Many settlers were eaten by muskrats during the Muskrat War of 1855. Tom, a young pioneer, settled down for a night of restful sleep in his tent when all of a sudden he was eaten by a muskrat, a smart-*** muskrat that would cleverly assume his identity and go on to become a wealthy Abraham Lincoln impersonator.
I was driving through the fiercest global-warming-spawned blizzard ever, returning to my favorite gun-free zone, when an avalanche (like the one that killed Michael Jackson) buried me. I suspected that I would die soon (or soon enough) if Christ didn't intercede chop chop! I remembered several Bible verses and the Russian adage: โ€œpray to God but row to shore.โ€ I thought of my mother, Mather (Pa.), Jerry Mathers and the logic behind injecting pigeon **** to remove tattoos. Suddenly and unexpectedly out of nowhere demons pulled my car (with me in it) to safety. โ€œHey, where's Jesus?โ€ I asked. โ€œHe'll be here in five minutes,โ€ they answered. โ€œFive minutes?โ€ I guffawed & pshawed. โ€œHe may as well not bother!โ€
...๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก ๐จ๐Ÿ ๐Œ๐š๐ฅ๐ญ๐ž๐ฌ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ฌ๐ž๐ฌ
Wherever I goes this is about the length of Maltese noses. If I hated
you more along the surf-tide of a Pacific-coast fizz you'd chalk it up
to Biblic points revealing an Occidentalized Lost-Sea-Scroll gnosis.

๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“šยญ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š­ยญ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“šยญ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ“š
Ch. 1 : โ€œOf course I don't like war, but Mexico is asking for it...โ€
My left knee hurt and I knew that I'd need left-knee surgery when I returned to the palace. Fortunately my mother, who is the queen of England, wasn't home so I hung my ****** on the throne to air out. It was just 2 minutes later when the red phone rang: โ€œMexico has dropped a couple of nuclear H-bombs on Pakistan.โ€; โ€œ*******!โ€ I exclaimed. I immediately contacted central command. โ€œThis is the prince of England! I want 70,000 soldiers dispatched to Mexico right now!!!โ€; โ€œYes sir!โ€ Said the guy on the other end.

Ch. 2 : Cindy's *** puckered like a strangled duck unused to French bread dough. โ€œDid you order the attack on Mexico?โ€ She asked.
ย ย  โ€œYes I did Cindy. As prince of England I see it as my duty.โ€
ย ย  โ€œI love you,โ€ Cindy said, โ€œmore than I love God.โ€
ย ย  โ€œThanks Cindy, but I'm not God, I'm only the prince of England.โ€

Ch. 3 : โ€œRoyal Duties Beyond the Horizonโ€
My attack on Mexico saved billions of lives in Pakistan and the king of Pakistan knew it. He called me as soon as he could.
ย ย  โ€œPlease your royal, highly-worshiped Prince of England,โ€ he began, โ€œaccept the gratitude of the people of Pakistan for what you have done to save them from being killed by Mexicans.โ€
ย ย  โ€œYou're welcome,โ€ I said. โ€œI was simply doing my job as prince of England. Let's pray that Mexico has learned her lesson.โ€

Ch. 4 : โ€œMexico Apologizesโ€
It didn't take long for el presidente de Mexico to see the error of his ways. In a letter sent to me from the president's house in Mexico City, the president wrote: Dear Prince of England: I'm so sorry for dropping a couple ofย ย nuclear H-bombs on Pakistan the other day. I don't know why I did it. I promise Sir Royal Prince of England that I won't ever do it again. Please forgive me. I am really sorry.ย ย ~ Sincerely, the president of Mexico

Ch. 5 : โ€œApology Acceptedโ€
As the prince of England I know that nobody's perfect, not even the president of Mexico. I accepted his apology on behalf of the people of Pakistan whom the president of Mexico had dropped a couple ofย ย nuclear H-bombs on several days before.
โ˜‘ โ˜‘ โ˜‘ โ˜‘ โ˜‘ โ˜‘ โ˜‘
โš€ โš โš‚ โšƒ โš„ โš…
First thing first. DESTROY & ANNIHILATE!
...oh, that's 2 things.
86 · Nov 2024
3 turns
HOW TO PROTECT YOUR GRANDMOTHER FROM A
LASER ATTACK - Place your grandmother in a seated
position for 30 minutes every 4 hours. Loosen her
clutch plate while tightening her lug
nuts (no more than 3 turns).
86 · Oct 2024
43% of Canadian women
GOD TALKS TO PEOPLE A LOT - Why do you love God so much? Because He's really nice. How nice? I just told you. Does He protect you day and night? Yes. He always has. What about Jesus? What about Him? Oh, nothing. Pull out a ride-hiking finger and let's hitch a hip trip to Toronto where 43% of Canadian women are living lives devoted to free-love & casual-*** giving. I got a rheumatic disease that kills nobody. Now that I know that I won't do THAT anymore unless I'm forced by the force of law to do that or if I'm conned into doing that, or lured by hussies who aren't real hussies into doing that. Debbie Watson's rotten dreams haunted her lover Kyle Yarborough's coma-deep slumber while he was attached to hospital machines. He had a career in car-racing to return to if his brain-reduction surgery was successful. "Dear Lover," Debbie whispered through a feeding-tube, "one day we'll make love in a motel room in France a lot." Suddenly, like a miracle, Kyle's eyes flew open like a helicopter stalling out over the Teton Dam. "Oh Kyle! God does grant prayer requests!" Debbie exclaimed like she was Kammy Harris opening a bag of new knee pads. Debbie, why are you crying? My mother was just eaten by cannibal Pygmies. Oh, is she going to be alright? Yes, I think so. Mom? Are you okay? Yes darling. I'm just a little sore.
Crazy Abraham Lincoln slapped Martha Washington so hard that
George's wooden dentures fell out. โ€œWhy'd you do that?โ€
Martha demanded to know. โ€œBecause,โ€ honest Abe
answered, โ€œI free slaves like it's nothing
all the time.โ€ Just then George picked
up his teeth that had fallen into
the toilet. โ€œLook,โ€ George said,
โ€œmy teeth are covered
in germs from
the toilet.โ€
80 · Sep 2024
Desi & Lucy
I spend money like a drunken sailor dating a conniving cheap-skate
who flashed her 'possum in Pittsburgh alleys at ****** she did hate
God Bless all animals that were in the loving care of Lizzie Borden
'cause we are afflicted with a Jesuit pope who's always busy lordin'
In the dark all prostitutes are equal, dependin' on how you're sortin'
as gonorrheal discharges mean nothing to the babies they're abortin'
'cause amputees leaned on stuff before Lucy Ball wed Gary Morton
& hatred grew 'twixt Desi & Lucy when Lucy & Gary were courtin'
before Desi could win back Lucy's hot love which was only sportin'
even though it was with *****-***** that Lucy caught Desi cavortin'
in Cubano bars under tables tequila-drinkin' & *******-line snortin'
on the Black Isle Peninsula of boggish ol' Scotland's West Shoreton
home to sodomitically-apt girls espousing an Apocalyptical portend
that's ******* than Barb Walters' make-it-up-as-you-go-along reportin'
on a rookie L.A. pig with C-4 is preferable to a fugitive with a 4-10
79 · Nov 2024
I want to be alone.
78 · Oct 2024
Passage 45
She was a lovely woman with large knobs that could tell you how fast the wind was blowing when we were cruising on my dad's 300-million-dollar yacht. Anyway, she was in love with my cousin Jamaal who was of ***** descent.

77 · Sep 2024
BETTY TURTLE WHITE
Betty White (January 17, 1922 โ€“ December 31, 2021) ate live turtles and toads to maintain "mega-strength." Her sister, who was 78% Italian and 56% non-Italian, often chided Betty for her live turtle/toad diet. 1 day, as Betty was pulling her thong out of where thong bikini bottoms wanna go, a strange man approached her from an unlicensed live turtle-meat corporation. Betty was so hungry that she quickly ate the poor ******* raw to gain additional "mega-strength."
Born in October 1956, Janet Aimee Stephenson started out as a model and actress before moving into film-making. Do you have the 1980 Roxy Music album ๐‘ญ๐’๐’†๐’”๐’‰ ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐‘ฉ๐’๐’๐’๐’… in your collection? The nearer of the two girls is Aimee Stephenson. In the 1980's Aimee and her boyfriend Tim Jackson (producer of Dead Dog Blues) worked in the States on some Roger Corman productions although I donโ€™t know which ones. In 1991 they teamed up with a guy called Sean Manchester who had written a non-fiction book about the so-called "Highgate Vampire." The plan was to make a documentary, and possibly a narrative feature film, about the subject but it never came to anything for various reasons.

In 2001 Aimee and Tim were in Peru, researching a book. ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—น๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ด๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ผ๐—ป ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ ๐—ถ๐—น๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜„๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ธ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต๐˜ ๐—ณ๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฒ๐˜…๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ผ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ. ๐—”๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐˜‚๐—ด๐—ต๐˜ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐˜‚๐—น๐—น ๐—ฏ๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐—ป๐˜ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ณ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ณ๐—ณ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿด% ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฟ๐—ฑ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ๐—ด๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ณ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ, ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—บ๐˜€, ๐—น๐—ฒ๐—ด๐˜€ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜€๐—ผ. ๐—ง๐—ถ๐—บ ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿณ ๐—ผ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜€๐—ผ ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜† ๐—ฏ๐—ฎ๐—ฑ๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฑ. ๐——๐—ฒ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ถ๐˜๐—ฒ ๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ๐—ฝ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—น๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ท๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ฒ๐˜€, ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ต ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜„๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฑ ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—น๐˜† ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐—ฃ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—ฃ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐˜‚๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—ถ๐—ป๐˜€๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ. ๐—” ๐—ฝ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฐ๐—ผ๐—ป๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐˜๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐˜‚๐—ฝ ๐˜€๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ฎ๐˜๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—ฐ๐˜๐—ผ๐—ฟ ๐—ฑ๐—ฟ๐—ผ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—บ ๐—ถ๐—ป ๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ฐ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ ๐—บ๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป ๐—ฎ ๐—ต๐˜‚๐—ป๐—ฑ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฒ๐˜€ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—ป๐—ฒ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜ ๐—ต๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ฝ๐—ถ๐˜๐—ฎ๐—น. ๐—”๐—ณ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ ๐—ฎ ๐˜„๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ธ ๐˜๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ, ๐—”๐—ถ๐—บ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜€ ๐—ณ๐—น๐—ผ๐˜„๐—ป ๐—ต๐—ผ๐—บ๐—ฒ (๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ฎ ๐—ฆ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐˜‡๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ฑ) ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฆ๐—ฎ๐—น๐—ถ๐˜€๐—ฏ๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐˜† โ€“ ๐˜„๐—ต๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐˜€๐—ต๐—ผ๐—ฟ๐˜๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฝ๐—ฎ๐˜€๐˜€๐—ฒ๐—ฑ ๐—ฎ๐˜„๐—ฎ๐˜†. I canโ€™t imagine the pain she must have gone through, or what Tim Jackson and her other friends and family must have suffered watching her agony.

- Posted by M.J. Simpson
73 · Oct 2024
Henry Miller
"Once you have given up the ghost, everything follows with dead certainty, even in the midst of chaos. From the beginning it was never anything but chaos: it was a fluid which enveloped me, which I breathed in through the gills. In the substrata, where the moon shone steady and opaque, it was smooth and fecundating; above it was a jangle and a discord." -- Henry Miller, "Tropic of Capricorn"
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