A PYGMY CANNIBAL ATTACK - Bob was a nice guy who used laser beams to take a crap till his phony friend Betty said: "Bob, you shouldn't use laser beams to take a crap. I use railroad spikes. They work slower but they never crack." Bob smiled, his jagged teeth catching the moon's putrid light. "Betty, you may be right about that. Perhaps I should switch from lasers to spikes? Here, take this shower curtain and wrap my dead chihuahua in it. He gave his life to save me from a Pygmy cannibal attack."; "He was a brave little dog," Betty sobbed as she slipped a small pipe bomb up Bob's ****** for fun.

In A.D. 1876: A CANNIBALISTIC TRIBE OF VICIOUS EX-LESBIANS invaded the palace of the Canadian queen and her pock-marked boyfriend. Their demands were simple: (1) submit to the local ex-lesbian code of conduct (2) forfeit all pseudo- and quasi-lesbian activities for ninety days (3) repent before the altar of pope Saint Joan.  THE OUTCOME: The queen refused and was cooked over an open flame. Her freckle-free flesh was described as "tasting like Cornish game hen..."

National Fire Protection Association (NFPA)
https://www.nfpa.org › fire-investigator › pres921gd
Be better prepared to conduct even the most complex investigations safely and provide more accurate, reliable conclusions with Fire Investigator: Principles and Practice to NFPA 921 and NFPA 1033.

NFPA 921
GUIDE FOR FIRE AND EXPLOSION INVESTIGATIONS [2021]
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐌𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬
INTRODUCTION TO THE DISCOVERY OF RADIO FREQUENCY RADIATION AND THE RELATED BREAKDOWN OF ELECTRICAL WIRING INSULATION LEADING TO FIRE CAUSATION

Presented by:
Jim Brown, CCAI-CFI
Fire Forensics & Technology
Presented by
Dr. Robert Armstrong, PhD P.E.
Armstrong Engineering
Dr. Vytenis Babrauskas, PhD
Fire Science and Technology Inc.

𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗠𝗘𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗦 𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗙𝗜𝗘𝗟𝗗 𝗢𝗕𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡
Occur within 1 month to two years following initial replacement of analog
meter with smart meter
• Within 15 – 25 feet of smart meter
• Occur in continuous sections of branch circuit wiring, not at points of
connection or splices, not near staples, not in junction boxes
• No evidence of insect or rodent infestation
• Occur in void spaces (walls, ceilings) and in attics with no human activity
• Often small fires (5 – 10’ diameter)
• No correlation to service size or circuit loading
• No correlation to premises wiring age or material (Al or Cu)
• No correlation to significant weather events (lightning)
• No evidence of utility supply (distribution) system anomalies (voltage spikes)
• Fires cause typically listed as UNDETERMINED


5 STAGES LEADING TO FIRE
• 1st Stage: RF pulses (beams) away from meter in a specific pattern to send signals (data) to nearby meters in the “Daisy Chain”
• 2nd Stage: RF from meter bounces off “reflected” surfaces causing RF to “double/quadruple” in intensity (in terms of energy density measured as microwatts per square meter; μW/m2). The pulse bounces back and onto the oncoming pulse and intersects at a specific geometric focal point. If PVC insulation is present at that focal point, the RF energy can get converted to heat energy in the dielectric, causing micro fractures or bubbles in the polymer. The main effect is likely thermal, but the existing electric field
may accelerate the degradation of the polymer (PVC)
• 3rd Stage: Sufficient heating can either ignite the polymer directly,
or, more likely, first carbonize it. If PVC gets carbonized, then this
can be the initiation of arc tracking, and arc tracking can end up in
ignition.
• 4th Stage: If wood structural members are near/touching, this
resistive heating can initiate and sustain pyrolysis of wood.
• 5th Stage: Flaming combustion begins.


TYPES OF SMART METER FIRES
Smart-meter-caused fires can be grouped into three broad
categories:
1) Inadequate mechanical or electronic design of the meter.
• Example: Overheating component(s) inside meter; water ingress into
electronics due to poor sealing; inadequately-sized shut-off relays
causing fire upon remote re-energization; faulty Li-ion batteries (note
that mechanical meters do not need one).
2) Problems at the meter/base stab connections.
• This has nothing to do with the “smart” aspects. Usually due to an
untrained gorilla force-fitting the new meter onto the base.
3) Ignitions of wiring at some distance from the meter.
• This is the sole topic of our presentation today. #1 and #2 are fairly well
understood and not particularly controversial.

Wilford Brimley's health has been really bad lately 'cause he's dead.
His 2 eyes are very rotted out of their sockets and his lips look very
gray. He has lost 89% of his ***-appeal and it doesn't look like he'd
score with a hot babe by the third date no matter what he did. “You
have been very quiet on our date *****,” his hot date might observe
as Wilford just sits there propped up with ropes & sticks. “Wilford,
give me some ****-hot lovin'!” His ****-hot date would demand as
would any hot mama who scored 3 dates with a big-time movie star
who appeared on 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒔 with Jim Bob 80 times in the 1970's.

Lulu was no ordinary ******. She had a height advantage after the age of 13 when she shot up to 6 feet, 4 inches. All of her fellow chick midgets were so envious: "Why does she get to be so tall?!" Midge exclaimed on behalf of several other ****** chicks, to which Lulu replied: "Shut up you dumb ****** or I'll **** you!"

First things first, rule one: Always keep your private ****** & your
public ****** separate. Only loved ones & family members may en-
joy your private ******. Reserve your public ****** for bank tellers,
carnival workers & bus drivers. Always speak when spoken to. Eat
with your big mouth closed. Never poke a grizzly bear with a stick.

C ertificate
O f
Vaccination
I
D

1 = A (letter 1)
9 =  I (letter 9)

certificate of vaccination identification artificial intelligence

is considerable higher now than it was during World War 2 in Europe and North Africa because throughout the second half of 1944 Adolf ****** was dropping bombs on lesbians constantly.

On 22 October 1975, Hugh and Antonia Fraser, together with Caroline Kennedy, who was visiting them at their Holland Park home, in Kensington, west London, were almost blown up by an I.R.A. car bomb placed under the wheels of his Jaguar, which had been triggered to go off at 9 a.m. when he left the house; the bomb exploded, killing the cancer researcher Gordon Hamilton Fairley. Fairley, a neighbour of the Frasers, had been walking his dog, when he noticed something amiss and stopped to examine the bomb.

Normally I wouldn't walk down the street without several guns, but it was my plumber's brain surgeon's birthday so I risked it. What a mistake that was for as soon as I got within 100 feet of Tim's Ex-Lesbian Bowling Alley and Bait Shoppe I was stopped by a gang of merciless ex-lesbians. "Hey girlie, you're cute! What'cha got under those *******?!" One of the butch ex-lesbians exclaimed. "Listen! I don't wanna get in no fight with a gang of ex-lesbians!" I stressed firmly. "Fair enough," another ex-lesbian responded while the gang passed by me without another word.

Now you can INSTANTLY RELIEVE CHRONIC CONSTIPATION in only 1 week with an easy prayer. Have you ever sat on the toilet for 15 hours praying for a miracle? Me too. One of the easiest ways to guarantee a quick, nearly pain-free bowel movement is through this time-tested prayer: "Come on Jesus! I ain't pinched a loaf in 3 days! Make it happen or it's back on the crucifix with you!"