Song by The 6ths ‧ 1995

I was happy
Which is not like me at all
For an hour
I was feeling ten feet tall
And I had myself a ball
I was heading for a fall
I got all dressed up in dreams
And I waited by the door
But you never even called
To tell me you don't love me anymore
You're so pretty
Everybody falls for you
In this city
It's the only thing to do
So I cried for 16 days
And I cried in 16 ways
I got all dressed up in dreams
And I waited by the door
But you never even called
To tell me you don't love me anymore
You said you'd arrive at 8
But you're 17 days late
I got all dressed up in dreams
And I waited by the door
But you never even called
To tell me you don't love me anymore
So I wander in the rain
As I slowly go insane
I got all dressed up in dreams
And I waited by the door
But you never even called
To tell me you don't love me anymore

Songwriter: Stephin Merritt

It's never too late (unless you're senile) to experience intimacy with a woman of the opposite ***. Now, and for a limited time, you can attend church weddings and funerals in total comfort! Lift heavy women high over your head and throw them off bridges! It's fun! It's amazing! It's like being a super man with the largest ****** in the world! Run, jump and tumble like a Yugoslavian! Don't worry about ****! You're mega-rich with huge ******!

HOW DO AMISH MEN HAVE *** IN THE DARK when they're not allowed to own light bulbs? - They're very careful and have mapped out what to do in their minds. - Are Amish women passionate when it gets dark outside? - Yes. - How do I know if I'm Amish? Is there a test that I can take or should I just wait for it to get dark outside? - Wait for it to get dark outside.

SHOCKING NEWS FROM HOLLYWOOD! Barbi Benton's love for Hugh Hefner (founder of 𝘗𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘰𝘺 magazine) made 14 million ex-lesbians furious. Once, while she was waxing her arm pits, there was a tremendous explosion in the master bathroom: Hugh had been pulling hand grenade pins when one fell on his *******. Emergency surgery was performed and Barbi happily donated skin from her ***** for grafting purposes. While convalescing, Heff wrote a beautiful song about Barbi's ****-skin and she did likewise about his maimed testicles. Fifteen years later Richard Gere inserted a greasy gerbil up his ****.

After buying an Italian restaurant Maria's natural beauty became tainted by lasagna. She was urged to remove it from the menu, but she wouldn't, and now she's dead. It could've been the series of experimental vaccines that killed her, but more likely it was the exposure to lasagna ingredients that overwhelmed her immune system.

ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴍᴏʟᴀʀ ɪᴍᴘᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

We kissed on the porch
that you set afire with a torch
as my only house burned
that I bought with Mexican
pesos that I earned in
Venezuela last spring
where I had gone to sing
sad songs about my
mixed-gender heritage

COULD IT BE A KELTIC RELIC FROM AN ANCIENT PEA-GREEN SEA? It was in queen Lizzie's cellar for 500 years before it disappeared. WHAT WAS IT? It weighed 9,000 tons and couldn't even be lifted by 20,000 godless Egyptians. It was a gift from Elohim for modern corporators & syndicators who butchered crocodilians & alligators. It stumped the choppers and chopped the stumpers. It came with fenders and chromium bumpers. It made the king sad and fair maidens service men who were eternally bad. It was everything, yet nothing at all as it grew less popular than Sears in Sarasota Mall. WHAT WAS IT ANYWAY, this thing that made gay men pay? Who can say?

Here, better use my lesbian bible. Thanks. That's better. The bed's level now. Oh well, back to lesbian ***. I bruised my **** last time. I don't want to use either rubber strap again. Maybe, I'll go to Home Depot, pick up a coil of copper wire. Look at her! That big ***** needs her come-uppance! I'll smack her around a bit in the locker room and then I'll write a screen play about high schoolers victimized by bullying. I think America's ready for such a movie.

Elton John shoved the nozzle into the gas tank like a maniac who needs regular gas badly. "That will be 45 dollars," the gay clerk said. Elton just looked at him like he was crazy. "How long have you been a homosexual?" Elton asked meanly. "8 years and 5 months," the clerk replied nervously. "Well, here's 50 dollars and keep the change!" Elton exclaimed with a big smile on his face that made the clerk wonder about Elton's true ****** preference.

Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, myocardial infarction with non-obstructive coronary arteries & isolated tachycardia were reported following immunisation with mRNA COVID-19 vaccines. (PMID: 34921468)
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​In eight years of repeated malfeasance, Pfizer has accumulated $3 billion in fines and civil penalties. (PMID: 21532766)
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​Compared to females, vaccination by COVID-19 mRNA vaccines in males was associated with an increased risk of myocarditis and pericarditis. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1101/2021.08.12.21261955
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​Bell's Palsy After 24 Hours of mRNA-1273 SARS-CoV-2 Vaccine : The FDA recommends increased surveillance of the vaccines among larger populations. (PMID: 34336436)
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​Evaluating the relationship between myocarditis and mRNA vaccination: Expert opinion: Myocarditis may be associated with vaccination, through several biological mechanisms. (PMID: 34738500)
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­​Use of mRNA COVID-19 Vaccine After Reports of Myocarditis : The CDC has developed patient and provider education materials about myocarditis & symptoms of concern. (PMID: 34237049)
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​SARS­-CoV-2-Specific IgA in Vaccinated Lactating Health Care Workers: Results show that the mRNA-based vaccines induce SARS-CoV-2-specific IgA & IgG secretion in human milk. (PMID: 34427487)
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​The risk of myocarditis after receiving mRNA-based vaccines was highest after the second dose in young men. This risk should be considered in the context of COVID-19 vaccination. (PMID: 35076665)
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​Th­e most devastating neurological post-adenovector-based vaccination complication is cerebral venous sinus thrombosis which is frequently reported in females of child-bearing age. (PMID: 34719776)
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​D­eaths associated with SARS-CoV-2 vaccination. The PEG antibody, an additive in cosmetics & pharmaceuticals (and a component of the vaccine), is assumed to be the main allergen. (PMID: 33895650)
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​Association of Myocarditis With BNT162b2 Messenger RNA COVID-19 Vaccine in Children: The long-term risks associated with post-vaccination myocarditis remain unknown. (PMID: 34374740)

STOP MESSING AROUND WITH FOOD THAT'S POISONOUS
“Gay Cubans speak proper Spanglish which is why monkey-taming
comes natural to them!” Hans insisted. “What about wild A.I.D.S.?
Didn't Cubans give it to monkeys?” Fritz asked. “Nain, Cubans are
known for their willingness to substitute ravioli for rigatoni. I knew
5 Cubans with **** warts & they didn't let that stop them!” Reason-
ed Hans. “Oh! God! Stop them from what?!” Fritz needed to know.

What's this Tammy? It Nature Spirit dog food. I bought it at Walmart. It was on sale. Nature Spirit? Do our dogs like it? They sure do! Jeffrey finished his entire bowl in 4 minutes. Wow! What about Charles? Pretty much the same. Hey? Where are our 2 children: Kennedy and India? They're at school learning to reed and write. You spelled read wrong. I don't care.

LESBIAN TABLE FOR SALE! It comes with a booklet. Be the life of the party with this table! "Trixie! Is that a lesbian table?!" A lesbian guest might ask, and you'll say": "It sure is Minnie! Would you like to 'eat' from it?!" and then she says: "I'm a lesbian so of course I'd like to 'eat' from it!" and you answer back: "Let's take off our tight clothes then!" and she giggles and before anyone can stop you the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein shows up with a big bag of lesbian lubrication cream and you say: "Oh no!" It's Jeffrey Epstein's ghost!" and finally the ghost exclaims: "I am the spirit of president Zachary Taylor, not Jeffrey Epstein!" and everyone starts taking their clothes back off.