I LOVED YOU FOR SEVERAL MOMENTS LONGER THAN I SHOULD HAVE - Your Turkicoid features are more Mongolese than I recall them to be even though I'm youngishly youthful and prone to falling off the Empire State Building a lot. ​​There were 2 famous writers named Winston Churchill. The first one is virtually forgotten. He died in Winter Park, Florida in 1947. There's peace when you're strait-jacketed in a padded cell. It isn't peace that men should seek, it's justice.

"Oh Gordon," Tammy began, "I thought you were deeply in love with me? The way you painted my house; lifted my fat sister high above your head; punched my mother to make her stop breathing and then punched her again to make her start."
   Gordon looked astonished and amazingly **** with his long ***** and urbane mannerisms. "I'm going away Tammy to a *****-shortening clinic in another country."
   "Oh no Gordy! Please don't have your ***** shortened! I love it so much. It brings such comfort to me," Tammy sobbed while her medium-big ******* hardened like crazy.
   "Listen Tammy: my ***** is too long. Admit it. Two weeks ago a woman with a hairy crotch threatened me with birth-control pills for ten minutes. Ten minutes!"
   Tammy turned away ashamed. "That was me Gordy. I was wearing a fake crotch wig to fool you."
   Gordon chuckled at that. "Here," he said while offering his ***** to her selflessly, "take my *****. Grip it firmly. I promise that I won't have it shortened."
   That August Tammy had a baby who was so black that Gordon suspected that she'd been ******* Negroes and he was right.

When Sheila Moon Glow was twenty-seven she had a large wart removed from her brother's nose. The money that it cost came indirectly from the Sheila Moon Glow Endowment for the Arts. After a brief recovery her brother went on to develop several other warts on his ****. Sheila made available money to have them frozen off.

OFF THE TOP OF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING - I love food that's freeze-dried and abounding in fish-swimming & bird-flying hormones. But unfortunately, I got a bad batch that was full of these hormones in the wrong order so now I fly like a salmon and swim like a wren.

modern brassieres for modern women. Don't ***** around in the dark, sweating till your ******* turn into a different color than they were at the bowling alley! These brassieres have ***-cooling mesh openings to allow for instantaneous cooling (just like the fake astronauts have).

Good old-fashioned colon cancer. He was just sitting there on a park bench when he died. That's so sadly tragic. What about his wife? She's in a mental hospital coping with traumatic stress. Her brother just turned into a woman. He was just sitting there on a park bench when he turned into one. A woman? Yes, a real woman with all the features of a woman except for a womb and the accompanying parts. That's terrible. Can he have babies? No, because he has no womb yet. Yet? Yes, he's going to get an experimental womb-transplant from a male monkey whose prostate gland will be hormonally transmogrified into a structurally-accurate womb. It's amazing what doctors can do these days: changing monkey parts into non-monkey parts; switching babies at birth as if by accident; cooling the tempers of militant homosexuals with soothing words of regret.

after buying for me a better purse. I felt my internal organs and they felt okay. I looked into the bomb crater and your uncle was gone, just like that. Here today, gone tomorrow. I hope that everything works out soon for you because you have a bowel problem. Please have my luggage destroyed. I can't face the responsibility of asking the garbage man for help a second time.

Ronald Reagan's resilience to dath, I mean death, caused him to live for many years. His woman Nancy also lived a long time till she predictably crapped-out. The Reagan children are alive now, enjoying twice-daily bowel movements and generally having a good time.

☑ ☑ ☑ ☑ ☑ ☑ ☑
⚀ ⚁ ⚂ ⚃ ⚄ ⚅
First thing first. DESTROY & ANNIHILATE!
...oh, that's 2 things.

Betty White (January 17, 1922 – December 31, 2021) ate live turtles and toads to maintain "mega-strength." Her sister, who was 78% Italian and 56% non-Italian, often chided Betty for her live turtle/toad diet. 1 day, as Betty was pulling her thong out of where thong bikini bottoms wanna go, a strange man approached her from an unlicensed live turtle-meat corporation. Betty was so hungry that she quickly ate the poor ******* raw to gain additional "mega-strength."

Richly trip me up my Ohio mucky pup! It talks a lot in the dark, like an escaped hatchet salesman on L.S.D. It skips a heartbeat, like an escaped hatchet salesman's wife on L.S.D. It comes at me when my guard's down; when my fingers are numb in the barren Sierras; when the aborticide rate's at its highest.

Hello I'm Fred and this is my dog hospital. What do we have here? It's a dog Fred. I can ******* see that! I own a ******* dog hospital for ****'s sake! Sorry. My dog's sick. I think he swallowed a credit card. Let's have a look. Yes, I see the credit card. Should it be removed? No, we'll just leave it there forever you ******* dweeb!

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐑 𝐓𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐓𝐎𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐄𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐘: (𝟏) 𝐆𝐞𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞. 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐲: "𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐭𝐨𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟?" (𝟐) 𝐂𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫. 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐭𝐨𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲! (𝟑) 𝐑𝐮𝐛 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐨𝐢𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞, 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐧. (𝟒) 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐧𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐮𝐝𝐞. (𝟓) 𝐈𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞. 𝐍𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬! (𝟔) 𝐎𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫 𝐚 "𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭" 𝐭𝐨 𝟏 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐝𝐞.

Will veterinarian-approved treatments prolong my dog's suffering? Yes, veterinarians are like you and me except they are forbidden to use toilet paper by law, so instead they simply jump into Lake Michigan after each bowel movement. Can a veterinarian have *** with a woman? No, veterinarians are unable to do that. If I marry a veterinarian, what will our children look like? Dogs. Will a veterinarian ever be the president of Urugay? No. Veterinarians, although they're like you & me except when it comes to toilet paper usage, are intellectually inferior to all people, except Haitians.

My grandfather managed the Doobie Brothers. He was a great friend of brothers Joe & Barry Doobie. 1 day, when the other Doobie brothers were having their toe nails pulled out to build pain-tolerance, my grandfather murdered 2 prostitutes. He never got caught, of course.

How would you like Ted Bundy shoved up your ****? That doesn't even make sense! How could you shove Ted Bundy up my ****? No, no, I meant Ted Kennedy, not Bundy. What?! That's even crazier! Ted Kennedy weighed 400 pounds! Okay, make it Ted Bundy then. How'd you like it if I shoved him up your ****? Fine. I'd like it just fine. Go ahead and shove Ted Bundy up my ****. Don't worry. I was just kidding.

I felt older than dynamite yet younger than fire crackers as you rubbed my thighs with silicone puddy. It was a smooth day, abounding in spittle, muco-pus & phlegm. My mother bought a donkey named Clem. He used to ride tourists to the bottom of the Grand Canyon when he was feeling well: ******* freaky chicks in purple leotards. Why? Who can tell?