***-FREE NIGHTS WITH FIFI - I recently met a nice ***** man who sleeps under a tarp beneath a bridge on interstate highway 95. His name is Tyrone and he has 14 children to 10 women. We shared a can of pinto beans as he told me about his interesting life: "I was born to a multi-billion-dollar family who founded Canada and three-quarters of modern America. Each morning our French maid {who was always naked} prepared luscious soul food that made our large penises harder than bauxite. I wanted to grow up quickly and make her have babies until she couldn't anymore. Her name was Fifi Alabama, and I loved her more than dogs love having themselves euthanized. She was a lovely woman with large knobs that could tell you how fast the wind was blowing when we were cruising on my dad's 300-million-dollar yacht. Anyway, she was in love with my cousin Jamaal who was of ***** descent. Fifi preferred ***** men because she was crazy. I often marveled at the way her labials sparkled in the moon-glow like a thousand nurses eating tuna fish on top of the Empire State Building during a hurricane and even if it takes 20 years, I'll possess Fifi's body and impregnate it a lot. Amen and so help me God and Merry Christmas."

A DIVINE MIRACLE OF AVIATION IN OLD NEW YORK CITY - Tim Browne flew his mighty airplane directly into the Empire State Building at 400-miles-per-hour. “Is everyone alright?!” He asked as wreckage was still hitting the pavement. “We're okay back here!” A young woman yelled from the rear. “I've never felt better!” Another passenger reported. “That's odd,” Tim said to his pretty girlfriend at his side. “I thought that crashing directly into the top floor of a very huge building at 400-miles-per-hour would surely have killed us all, considering the mega-extreme impact!” Later, it was determined by the federal aviation inspectors that Tim was pretty lucky to be alive 'cause crashing a plane at that deadly speed always kills everybody!