HELLO! Will you play "Temporary Lady" by the Ex-Walnuts? I sure will! "You sat in the back of the bus where it was pretty **** shady my temporary lady! Oh yeah, temporary lady! You're so mysterious with your pink hair and stubby mustache like you're really Max Klinger from that crazy-*** T.V. show called M-A-S-H! I dream of you in a **** strap speeding through an obvious highway patrol speed trap, my temporary lady..." Like 2 Negroes in darkness we couldn't see one another not even a little bit while toilet turds chased each other through greasy ****.

LINING MY POCKETS WITH SANDWICH BAGS TO STEAL SOUP FROM THE BUFFET...Got any of those sack-loads of **** that are so popular everywhere these days? Yes! Just got a million sack-loads of them 10 minutes ago. May I see them? Are you a cop? No. Well I am! You're under arrest for your "sack-load of **** inquiry" which is punishable with a mandatory penectomy plus your collection of green stamp books! Oh no! Not my green stamp books?! Take my *****, just don't take my green stamps!

THE KIDNEY FINANCE STORY - When Kitty Gomez was young her parents divorced, each moving to another country far away. Kitty and her brother Hector were placed in an orphanage. 1 day, as Kitty was swimming in the Missouri River with 3 friends, there was a huge explosion at the cottage cheese factory (along the river) that spewed cottage cheese for thousands of feet in all directions. Kitty, though frightened and covered in cottage cheese, was unhurt. After washing off the cottage cheese, she kicked back to enjoy an ice-cold Iron City beer. "Hey!" Hector yelled from the bathroom. "Save a cold one for me!"

When Kitty Gomez was young her parents divorced, each moving to another country far away. Kitty and her brother Hector were placed in an orphanage. 1 day, as Kitty was swimming in the Missouri River with 3 friends, there was a huge explosion at the cottage cheese factory (along the river) that spewed cottage cheese for thousands of feet in all directions. Kitty, though frightened and covered in cottage cheese, was unhurt. After washing off the cottage cheese, she kicked back to enjoy an ice-cold Iron City beer. "Hey!" Hector yelled from the bathroom. "Save a cold one for me!"