𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚔𝚢

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚔𝚢 Oct 16

I became acquainted with the Roiling Stains:

Rick, Heath, Don & Harley, in 1999 during their "Ode to Prince Lucifer Tour." The band had recently suffered through several bouts of common venereal diseases: gonorrhea, syphilis & the severe chlamydia that Rick & Heath had contracted from Big Bill Clinton.

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚔𝚢 Oct 16

My white boyfriend lost a ******* in a chain saw accident & my black boyfriend donated his ******* to help out even though it's too big for my white boyfriend's *******. Which man should I marry?

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚔𝚢 Oct 16

You hurt me when you threw that helicopter landing-gear bracket at me! I'm in the hospital! I could have died! But I forgive you because of profound love and stuff.

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚔𝚢 Oct 15

I NEED NORMALIZED PEOPLE

to taste-test my poisonous food and to drink my arsenic-corrupted
water while I'm on holiday on Lake Huron before I leap off the top
of the Empire State building and go splat and maybe even die.

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚔𝚢 Oct 15

FOR SALE:

2 Budweiser toilet paper roll holders (1 gay, 1 normal) $6 each; long metal rod for beating people with (beat them till they die) $10; old shoe polish from Kmart (it's very hard, probably no good anymore) $4; water bed for swingers (have *** with lots of women on it who aren't very ****) $80. Contact me now for more stuff later.

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚔𝚢 Oct 14

I'm not taking my clothes off till you can prove to me and my cousin that you're a real gynecologist! Challenge accepted! Alright. Here, please accept this knock-out drug. Okay.

𝚂𝚞𝚣𝚢 𝙱𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚔𝚢 Oct 14

THE WAY KMART USED TO BE

Hi! Would you like to try our prostitutional services today? Sure! How much? A lot! No. I mean, how much does it cost? What? Your prostitutional services?! Sir, this is Kmart! If you want a *******, you'll have to go to McCrory's. Forget it. Fifteen dollars. For what? For a Kmart *******. But you said...NEVER mind what I said! It's fifteen dollars! Okay. I'll take one. One what? One *******. Sir, we don't offer prostitutes for fifteen dollars. Try Sears or Montgomery Wards.