I want to be with you
I want to sing together
I want to be your forever
But together we got lost
The cost our own sin
And now I wonder how you can take me back again when the roots have been laid in the ground of no return ! It kills me to know your wanting me but don’t know how to make it make sense ! SIN

Headstrong
head wrong
LIGHT SWITCH
ON
OFF
Today I’ll be
OKAY
or so I say
PAIN
driving me
INSANE
the voices are
starting in
AGAIN
WHEN?
will it completely
STOP
DROP
everything you’re
DOING
I NEED YOU
WHO ?
NO ONE
Says my
SUBCONSCIOUS
false I reply
I always can rely on
POETRY
to keep my
HEAD
in the game
ON
HEADSTRONG

Each day is a piece
three-hundred and sixty-five
pieces in total

YEARLY

Every day counts
just as much as the other
so don’t lose any

DAYS

Time, is the one thing
IMPOSSIBLE to get back
so enjoy your life’s

PUZZLE

An empty camping seat
a remnant of her
I’m all by myself
finding comfort in the fire

I stare into shades of
orange, yellow and blue
not knowing what else to do
I get lost in the flame

I know she’s gone
but the love for her is not
I cannot move on
from the love of my life

Covered in sin
torn again
feel felt found
DISCOVERED
the truth never
uncovered
falsely labeled
DAMAGED
Covered in doubt
hurt again
all fingers pointing
BLAMED
the lies always
NAMED
unknown strangers
to me
But no one
will believe me
So I remain quiet
and let them all
think they won
LOSER

Adrenaline preventing the pain from hurting, fueling anger but now I’m no longer in shock and the longer I go without her the more pain I feel internally, Memories force a relapse in behavior from old emotions resurfacing, pulling and pushing thoughts, tugging on my heart, where to start when it comes to healing..... God only knows, LOST

Alike
but different
Like
opposing pedals on a
Bike
always working together

Alike
but different
Like
opposing handlebars on a
Bike
always directing together

Alike
but different
Like
opposing tires on a
Bike
always traveling together

Without
one or the
Other
the bike would get
Nowhere
just like us if we are selfish

Problems
adding

Solutions
undetermined
variables

REAL LIFE MATH PROBLEMS

Solve
them

Support
system
quickly
Dividing

Mental
health
issues
multiplying

Stressed
out
messed
up
double
check
your
math
if
it
Isn’t
adding
up

Right
wrong
same
answer
different
problem

Solve
for
ex
as
in
relationship
equals
HURT

Gone
lost
confused
concerned
done

The
only
gain
was
PAIN

My
heart
divided
into
2
pieces
HEARTBREAK

1 childhood
like
mine
+
1 confused
boy
me
then
multiplied
by
a
hurt
man
———————
= let me know
when you figure it out

Math madness
if only I could
take a bath
and clean this
DISEASE

Allowing myself
to be cleansed
of some really bad
NUMBERS

It’s like this life is
PRE-DETERMINED
we just show up
and the rest unfolds

The house of cards
we keep stacking
as one gust of wind
blows it all down
FATE

Well I’ll get to the bottom
of where it all started
finally solving
for ground zero

Once there I can then
find myself
before the added
DAMAGE
and know where
it is I need to be
FOUND

FIND YOURSELF

WORK LOVES ME
60 hours a week
barely making
ends meet
stressed

WORK LOVES ME NOT
0 hours a week
abundantly making
ends meet
relaxed

WORK LOVES ME
60 hours a week
away from family
and friends
missed

WORK LOVES ME NOT
168 hours a week
with your family
and friends
blessed

Mrs. Right well she’s gone

WRONG

Ms. right now
she’s here now

Right ?

I DON’T ******* KNOW

Who does ?

PLEASE TELL ME NOW

They both love me
but I’m at a loss one is ten years older, the other is much younger, one has no children! While the other has many that hate me! Who the **** deserves me ? Who the ****  do I ? Who the **** knows , I’m happy with her but I miss my lost love ! But she has kids that hate me ! I still mis her but is that SUSTAINABLE? I ask myself ?

Time ticks away
a new day
tomorrow brings
my heart stings
from today’s pain
hopefully by tomorrow
it’ll all fade away
and my heart can sing
refreshing my mind
restoring our love
no longer feeling threats
from who I was
because we both know
who I am, now

It hurts me to do without
SHOUT
SCREAM
quit being mean
You know I
MISS YOU

Your name
caught in
crossed thoughts
crosshairs
your face
captured results
my faults
give in
thinking now
thinking how
you were
my everything
and now ....
just a
distant memory
I hold
CLOSE
when I’m
ReMiNdEd
Of you
of us
but now
but how
You’re gone
forever
lost
from my
grasp
of my
fingertips
FREE

A world
in a world
Hidden from
the people within
An experiment
within a world
inside another one
The outsiders looking in
paying dues to disrupt us
Making bets on threats to come
laughing at the ignorance
among us, wondering how…
WE COULD BE SO DUMB!
wondering how?
WE COULD BE SO CONTROLLED!
wondering how?
We believe one thing but let it be taken away.
FREEDOM, we are free
gained from deaths
of many loved ones
from war that was
defending our
FREEDOM…..
SUPPOSEDLY
I CALL *******
it’s all just “politics”
Profit driven
entertainment filled
humanity killed
expensive thrills
the outsiders fund
to get their socks off
from looking in
At:
A world
in a world
Hidden from
the people within

Yourself
must come first
BEFORE
Others
can come first
MENTAL-HEALTH
So
please help yourself
BEFORE
Others
keep coming last

Ounces of tears 
matches 
ounces of beers 
matches 
pounds of fears 
matches 
pounds of regrets 
matches 
years of
ALL THEE ABOVE 
dEpReSsEd
until the liquids 
replace the face 
that hurts so much 
with feelings gone 
NUMB

I miss you more than time could ever show, the thought of life without you kills me more than the sorrow from the first time I lost you but now you’re mine and I cannot accept the line that expresses you may not miss me the way that we both know should be expressed! Love

Confused
abused
twisted
listed
as a
lost cause
to who
who cares
they don’t
otherwise
i wouldn’t
feel
this way
GONE

Menu diluted
open to all
I go to
the meat case
and face only
the best cuts
CORNDANCE TAVERN
home of
locally sourced meats
handpicked, only by
THE BEST
Also known for their
BOURBON
Meat and Liquor
AGED to
PERFECTION
paired with
four cheese asparagus
along with Yukon Potatoes
and a much needed
craft beer:
ZOMBIE DUST
I know most parents
hate school shopping
but I enjoy it
especially when it’s time
for LUNCH

Amidst a write of emptiness
Hopeful of more words to come
But the bitter reality now is
A stanza of words forming one
With no signs of more to come
How resonating this may be
To other victims feeling lonely

Our eyes mirrors     THROUGH
we look to the light                  I
to reflect God’s eyes              M
shinning bright
CONNECTED
As our eyes reflect    
the strength of                 WITH
the Holy Ghost                       I
directly to our soul               M
CLEANSED
The blood of Christ        
his only son runs                 H
through our veins                IN
pumping life                        M
SACRIFICE
The last part needed
only you can decide
for yourself
FAITH

Change inevitable
adapt and own it
Create reality
from perception
transform yourself daily
grow in every variable possible
a centimeter further
is as good as a mile
advancement is key
regardless the hurdles
life could always be better
so strive to be better
change inevitable
so adopt it and nurture it
raise it to become
something and someone
stronger the longer you live
the more you should give
in every variable possible
love, pain, weakness, strength
an ounce more
is as good as a gallon
baby steps
gives us distance
separating us
from our demons
so CELEBRATE the little things
knowing the happiness they bring us might be the DIFFERENCE in making us
a BETTER person
be forgiving knowing
no one is perfect nor deserves the pressure of feeling they have to be in a world that strives based on DIFFERENCES we all don’t need to be the SAME, lame that would be to think you should live up to my expectations rather than your OWN
for yourself, life is an infinite amount of battles until death we won’t know who won the war unless we quit fighting before our time comes , refusing to move a centimeter or give an ounce , no hope at that point , waste of space , give-up
LOSE, I’ll keep crawling, struggling, moving, getting back up, fighting, regardless the obstacles I’m going to try to
WIN, I suggest you do the SAME

Within a world
there’s a world
Within our minds
thoughts get lost
separating from
what we want
as they crash into
insecurities, feelings
and mental roadblocks
the past dictating
the future and by doing so
it continues to resemble
the world we try to
stay away from
but in reality
we only get
drug deeper in
as worlds collide
distracting us from
who we could become
we remain the same
a world inside a world
all created within our minds
where reality is blinded
by insecurities, feelings
and mental roadblocks
lost I remain
amidst the pain
as one day bleeds
into the next
as one problem solved
leads to another being created
as one world
slowly gets manifested
into another one
an age old problem
I just can’t seem
to be able to FIX

You can drink my past beer
you can eat my last cookie
You can take my last dollar
you can make my last bill
BUT PLEASE DON’T
TOUCH MY *******
WOMAN
She’s all mine, Yeah
she’s supposed to be

I’m Black
I’m White

oh wait

Take a moment to think
Like what does he mean

I’m in between
Both colors

oh wait

Well not anymore
That’s the old me

I refuse to paint
That way anymore

oh wait

You understand now
What’s right is right
And what’s wrong is wrong

I’m no longer willing
To bend the truth

don’t wait

I couldn’t be more sincere
I’m tired of living in fear

right now

I’ve decided it’s time
To make a change
I must be honest with myself

no longer

Am I willing to hide
Within the spectrum

of color

It’s plain and simple
Good or bad intentions

pick one

Well moving forward
Good is my only decision

i might

Slip up but
I’m not perfect

i promise

Back in the day
I used to claim

i was

Back in the gray
Where I was from

that was

The worst place
To ever be

In between  

The lies and the truth
Playing the sides

not anymore

I’m refusing moving forward
To be that guy anymore

I am

Black and White
Moving forward

what’s right

Is the only thing
That matters

I am

Slowly changing
Working harder

getting values

I couldn’t
Feel better

The threat
to relapse

No longer
a concern

I rather fight
and earn

The right
to deserve

To be
a better

MAN

LOVE ME OR HATE ME
I could careless how you feel
I LOVE MYSELF NOW

Unaware
absolutely
oblivious
some are

To not know
the choices
they sew
from words
and actions
reaped

To not think
far or close
AHEAD
But rather live
in the moment
*******

Or to think
far to far
AHEAD
and rather fear
in moment
*******

Somewhere between
the two
do just
FINE

Time will tell
tall tales of fate
REGARDLESS
My thoughts
or ideas of us
REMINDER
We cannot
predict the future
REALITY
We may be
mad at eachother  
RIGHT-NOW
But who knows
what tomorrow brings
REASSURANCE
So stop with
the preconceived notions
REMEMBER
Time can heal
all our wounds

Hate me
that’s okay
I love who I am
regardless the scars
or the false stars
bars and drinks
who cares what I
THINK
Stink
wink
I’m not oblivious to these
Thoughts of
who I am
******

Her body
my Playground
her emotions
step ladder
always raising
herself up
each step
I take
the closer
I get
her skin
impatiently waits
for my hands
to take
control
and
press these
fingertips against
her flesh
I move quick
Until I get close
then I slowly
approach
barely brushing
against her
skin
working my
palms
pressing firmly
in her sweet spots
pressure points
my favorite place
to show special attention
as I take
the tip of my
fingers
applying firmly
to the center
of the crevice and slowly
releasing and rotating like a merry-go round
as it stops
quick pressure to the center
and quick release
the stress pours out
and she moans in relief
whispers from my soft lips
to her ears as I complete each sentence with soft nibbles and slide my tongue around the outer edges being extra careful around her earrings
my right  hand slips and slides flat against her back with the warm oil as it eventually stops at her lower back , my left hand holding her left side of her head slightly tilting it as our faces connect and we kiss
MAKE-OUT
dimples on her back become acquaintances with my index and ring finger calling my name as I press firmly and pull my lips away from hers   ......